[Open] Text

[apurrstate]

Who: Anders and the empty room, anyone else
Broadcast: Yes
Action: SS Tourist, if desired
When: Day after the shuffle

[It had hardly taken long to piece it together. He woke up alone, without the warmth of another person nearby. Opening his eyes revealed that the room was back to the size it had been before they'd merged their quarters and the bed really only had enough room for him and the three sleeping snow kittens.

It didn't matter that all of Wolfe's things were still littered around the room, what mattered was the absence of the man himself. He rarely left in the morning without telling Anders something.

He didn't even bother checking to see if he could send a message to Hawke once Anders spotted the ring he had offered Hawke nearly two weeks ago.

It took him a moment to gather himself, but, quietly, he did and checked the communicator just to make sure. How silly of him to even feel surprised or expect anything different.]


To those that knew him, Adalwolfe Hawke is no longer on the fleet.

It appears the same is true of Marian Hawke.

If anyone has any business left unsettled with either of them, please feel free to let me know and I will do my best to help.

[It hadn't taken long to find both missing when he tried to send a message to 'Hawke' and found no Hawkes listed in the fleet. He'd quickly followed up with checking some of the others as well, but it seemed most of everyone was still around. Mostly. Everyone from Kirkwall was gone except him.

He hesitated before adding:]

Fenris is gone as well.

Comments

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[bryces_pup]

[Wolfe gone. Marian gone. fenris gone. Blow after blow after blow. Riona sucks in a breath, fighting back tears. She should have known Atroma would do something like this, after bringing so many people from home here.

In a way, Fenris's stings the most. She's known him for the longest, and he was such a damn good friend. Infuriating at times, but still. Maker watch out for him, and whatever he must face back home.

But Wolfe and Marian's loss hurts, too. Marian, at least, can go back home to her Fenris and things there. Maybe in a way, she's better off. But Wolfe? It's not to simple.

She's reeling from all of this, but right now, she's more worried about Anders than anything.]

where are you? i'm coming to you

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[apurrstate]

[Maker, he knew there would be a parade of 'I'm Sorrys' and 'It'll be okays' and all sorts, possibly even a visit from a friend or two, but faced with it all he elt was a rush of anxiety. He was as okay as he could expect, but would it get worse if someone else showed up? He felt like he was walking a careful balance.

But this was Riona and since when had he ever been able to say no to her? She was likely one of the few who could even make him feel better asbout any of it.]

In our room.

My room.

The Tourist.

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[bryces_pup]

[It's a heartbreaking distinction to have to make, 'our' room to 'my' room. She hates this. She hates that there's so little that can be done, except to try and comfort and bear it over the coming weeks and months.]

i'll be there soon

[Belatedly she realizes she didn't even ask him if he wanted company, which is a bit rude. But she also knows Anders hides what he's feeling and tries to put on a brave face, just as much if not more so than her. And this needs to be handled in person.

With a quick message to Alistair about what happened and where she's going, Riona grabs some wine bottles, stuffs them into a big bag, and takes off for the Tourist.

After flying at a speed considered likely unsafe by most, she arrives a short time later. She remembers where their - his - room is and walks up to the door. There's a moment where she leans her head against the frame, steeling herself. Breathe in. Breathe out. She can do this. She has to.

Finally, she knocks.]

Anders?

Action

[whatisright]

[Justice stares at the post for a while, trying and failing to think of what to say. Justice only met Marian once, and Fenris had seemed ready to attack him last they spoke, but the loss of Wolfe stings more than he expected. But that's not what's important--Anders just lost his lover and two friends, and Justice doesn't know what he can say to make it better. He doesn't think there is something he can say.

So he doesn't try to say anything. He just shows up unannounced to Anders' now-single room where he can sense his presence the most, bearing a bottle of wine. He doesn't know if that's what Anders needs, but that's what Wolfe used to help Justice when he was in a terribly vulnerable place, and Justice is working with what he's got.

He considers just barging in, but his own apprehension and Riona's lessons on manners kick in at the last second and he knocks instead. Loyalty insisted on coming, of course, so she weaves between Justice's legs, threatening to trip him as soon as he moves.]

Action

[apurrstate]

[He isn't surprised to hear the knock. He figured he'd get some pity visits whether he wanted them or not, it was why he stayed in his room even though it hurt to look around and see the smaller space and Hawke's things still laying around; if he stayed put he could get the worst part over with.

All three snow leopards perk up at the knock, though, their ears turning to listen for the next sound curiously.]

It's unlocked.

[If Justice were looking for tone, it's passive. Maybe an edge of defeat in it, but generally just...there. Like he'd simply misplaced his favorite book instead of losing the love of his life.]

[whatisright]

[Justice's manners only extend so far. He wants to be there with Anders so badly that he suddenly just... is. Without bothering with the door, he's just inside the room.

And Loyalty promptly lets out a yowl of protest, being left all alone on the other side of the door, so Justice has to open it anyway with a murmured apology to the leopard, who promptly trots to Anders and starts rubbing up against his legs.

Justice doesn't bother saying anything at first. He just frowns, taking in the impressions of the room, all the built up love and stress between two people when one is suddenly gone.]

You know how much experience I have with this. [Justice knows he has no idea what he's doing. He knows that Anders knows he has no idea what he's doing. But he has to do something, so he hopes that he does more good than harm.]

I think I would have killed myself if Wolfe hadn't spoken with me. My only question was whether it would make a difference, fix the things I did to you retroactively, and the books I was reading made it sound as though maybe it could. Wolfe was the one who suggested that perhaps the things we did right outweighed what we did wrong, and maybe I would be doing a greater injustice if I undid it. He gave me enough doubt to stay my hand.

[Justice holds out the bottle of wine.] I did not understand why mortals partake in this, but Wolfe shared with me while we discussed the possibility of my suicide. It made it easier to speak of it. Would you like to share this with me?

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[onlyanapple]

[Losing people always sucks ass-cakes. But losing so many in one swoop is considerably shitty of Atroma.]

I'll make sure I keep a good supply of tequila in for you.When you feel like getting hammered.

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[apurrstate]

[What would he do without his favorite demon?]

Thank you. The Umbrellas too. Maybe I'll see if I can double my collection in one day.

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[onlyanapple]

[His life would be even more depressing than it already is, perish the thought. ]

Sure, why not. I'll make a metric shit-ton of them, just for you.

[text]

[passingthrough]

[News of Wolfe and Fenris both hit her, but for the moment at least, she's more concerned with Anders.

To text back, video back, or just head to the Tourist and see if he's there?]

Do you want time or company? [If it was her she'd want...both. She hates feeling weak and vulnerable around people. But those are the times she needs people all the more.]

[text]

[apurrstate]

[He almost feels a bit of relief seeing her response. Kitty, of anyone, would understand. Especially perhaps the part of still wearing the ring that had meant to symbolize 'forever.'

At the same time, he loathed the idea of sitting around bemoaning the loss of his love when he at least had the promise of seeing him again should Anders ever go home. Kitty didn't even have that.

By the Void, he might not even have that, depending on if Wolfe had truly been sent home or merely 'stored' as they'd seem to have been before. If Anders went back and Wolfe hadn't? If Wolfe had gone home and Anders never did. Some of the people here hadn't seen home in years.

But it was pointless to speculate.]

I'm not sure.
I don't want pity. But I don't want to be with my thoughts. There's too many.

And not enough.

[lord_wizard]

My condolences

[Which seems like a lackluster platitude, at best, but what is there to say when his acquaintance with Anders was minimal. It feels something of a failure, that Hawke had once tried to reach out to him for help and he hadn't found a way to offer it.]

If there is anything I can do, don't hesitate to ask

[apurrstate]

Thank you.

[He's not sure what else to say after that, they'd talked maybe once, if that, Wolfe seemed to know him more.

But that gave him something else.]

Wolfe seemed to trust your opinion on certain things he didn't feel he could come to me about. [Largely because they'd pertained to Anders himself, but still. Every time Wolfe had told him he'd sought magical help, it had been Felix's name coming up.] I appreciate that you were willing to help him.

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[samahl]

[It takes a while for Cyril to reply because he has to deal first with his own emotional reaction to this news. He wasn't super close to the three of them, though his friendship with Fenris had been growing, but it still feels so odd to know they've disappeared.

That isn't important though. He wasn't close to any of them, but Anders was. Even if he and Anders haven't spoken more than a couple times, he still has to reach out.]


Is there anything I can do for you?

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[apurrstate]

[He appreciates the gesture, even if they didn't know each other all that well. He'd consider them friendly and that was good enough sometimes.

His response is a touch more open than maybe he would normally be, but with this outpouring of condolences and shared upset, Anders didn't really know who else to mention it to. Perhaps someone who was nearly a stranger was best.]

I appreciate the offer.

Problem is I'm not sure what I should be doing, much less asking of anyone else. He isn't dead, supposedly I'll see him again, if I'm ever sent home. If they even send us home at all instead of sticking us in some sort of storage.

I'm not sure if I'm too upset or not upset enough.

[ action ]

[universal_charm]

<sub>[ Well... fuck.

Kirk hadn't been worried, waking up alone. Fenris did what Fenris wanted, often left when he wanted, and that was how it was. He wasn't ever really surprised to wake up alone, pleased when he didn't. It was just how Fenris was. But... but this time...

It took him a bit to feel composed enough to leave his cabin, to make his way down the halls of the Tourist to Ander's and knock on the door. He wasn't sure he was ready for this, but Anders was his friend and he was the captain and right now they both had to be hurting, so... well, here he was. ]</sub>

[ action ]

[apurrstate]

[Anders stand from where he'd been sitting, staring blankly at the wall. When he opens the door, Kirk will likely see the three little white snow leopards curled up on the bed and peering at him curiously. Hawke's staff is leaning against the wall near where Anders had been before and there's an obviously very old and worn journal open on the bed.]

Captain...Jim. [He pauses a moment as realization hits him.]

You knew, right? About Fenris? I wasn't the one who-

[Except maybe he was. Anders knew Fenris' sleep schedule was about as reliable as his own, it was something that had come up briefly back before he knew who the elf was. It was possible Kirk had just thought he was out, not...]

I'm sorry.

voice

[monolike]

All at once? All of them? [Sorey was far more familiar with Adalwolfe than the other Hawke and Fenris, but still...so many people from the same world, going all together. It's unsettling.]

...will you be okay?

voice

[apurrstate]

All of them. [To his credit, his voice isn't shaky or even overly emotional, if anything it's tired and almost resigned.]

I appreciate the concern. I will be, it's not as though he's dead. I'm likely to see him again. Someday. [The same couldn't be said of Marian and Fenris. Marian wasn't his Hawke, Wolfe was, she didn't exist in his state of things. And the Fenris he knew...well, he was three years dead and three years too late to try and reconcile anything the way they had here. Whatever that was, it was over and done with.]

If it's okay with you, I think I'll be coming by the Interfaith Center a little bit more. If you need any help with you, you have but to ask as my freetime seems to have grown.

[dandyofawolf]

[He doesn't know who this is but he knows how it feels to lose someone you care about. It's something he's had to go through numerous times. Sandalio isn't sure what the relationship is between all these people but there is loss to be found in this text and he finds himself empathizing with the emotion.

So he feels that the least he can do is...reply.]

Though we do not know each other, I wish to extend my condolences for your losses. It is never an easy thing to endure.

[apurrstate]

[Sympathy from those who knew him or knew the others, he expected. Sympathy from a stranger was...less so. It wasn't necessarily unheard of in Thedas and certainly not here in the fleet, a lot of people seemed empathetic on a level that would surely get them killed back in Anders' homeworld.

But it was certainly nice. Like a lifeline thrown from an unknown direction. Unknown and unimportant for what the sentiment offered.]

Thank you, I truly appreciate it.

It seems silly to mourn for them. One of them is going back to a life I know he finds at least somewhat satisfying, though I don't believe he desired to leave here. The other is going home to someone she loves and who loves her.

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[edwinjarvis]

We've lost a tremendous amount of people...

[Jarvis certainly's in a funk of his own, though it cannot stop him from making the usual meals for the ship; he won't let it completely wreck the schedule, because those who have left would be absolutely against him lazing on the job just because they've departed. Still, it's... going to be terrible, for a time.

Their ship has been so consistent, it's strange to see such a change.]

Are you hungry? Do make sure you're taking care of yourself.

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[apurrstate]

[He was used to Hawke chasing him to make sure he ate or slept or took care of himself, but someone else doing it made him pause. He wasn't really sure what to do with it.

But maybe Jarvis was like him, maybe working was easier than thinking too much. It wouldn't surprise him.]

I haven't eaten today, no.

Your concern is appreciated.

you can ignore me if this is too late!

[candothat]

[Losing both Wolfe and Fenris all at once hit the Tourist hard, but it hit some members of the crew harder than others. While Chekov was fond of both of them--particularly Fenris, as he had known him better--he suspected that he was not in the 'hit harder' category. That distinction clearly belonged to Anders and Kirk.

Which was why he was at Anders's door with a bottle of wine.]

Hello, Anders? May I come in to give you something? I can leave immediately after, I won't bother you if you would prefer to not be bothered.

No worries! Definitely not too late <3

[apurrstate]

[He'd been talked to and visited by a few different people, but now he was alone again and left sitting on the floor by the bed with the kittens asleep on the bed. Chekov's voice jolts him out of the dead air of his thoughts as he stared off into nothing.

But he slowly climbed to his feet again, wincing as joints popped and settled after not moving for a while.]

Please do, it's open.

[As soon as Chekov has the door open, Anders offers him a lopsided smile in greeting.]

You're not a bother, Pavel. Thank you for coming by, you didn't have to.