[Open] Text

[apurrstate]

Who: Anders and the empty room, anyone else
Broadcast: Yes
Action: SS Tourist, if desired
When: Day after the shuffle

[It had hardly taken long to piece it together. He woke up alone, without the warmth of another person nearby. Opening his eyes revealed that the room was back to the size it had been before they'd merged their quarters and the bed really only had enough room for him and the three sleeping snow kittens.

It didn't matter that all of Wolfe's things were still littered around the room, what mattered was the absence of the man himself. He rarely left in the morning without telling Anders something.

He didn't even bother checking to see if he could send a message to Hawke once Anders spotted the ring he had offered Hawke nearly two weeks ago.

It took him a moment to gather himself, but, quietly, he did and checked the communicator just to make sure. How silly of him to even feel surprised or expect anything different.]


To those that knew him, Adalwolfe Hawke is no longer on the fleet.

It appears the same is true of Marian Hawke.

If anyone has any business left unsettled with either of them, please feel free to let me know and I will do my best to help.

[It hadn't taken long to find both missing when he tried to send a message to 'Hawke' and found no Hawkes listed in the fleet. He'd quickly followed up with checking some of the others as well, but it seemed most of everyone was still around. Mostly. Everyone from Kirkwall was gone except him.

He hesitated before adding:]

Fenris is gone as well.

Comments

[apurrstate]

[Anders waited, nearly as still as Justice if not for the small movements all humans make no matter how hard they try. He didn't know what he was waiting for or what he was hoping to hear. Did he want to hear that Wolfe felt dread accepting the ring, like he felt he had no choice now that they were both approaching forty and still together? That he felt stuck? Would that be better than hearing Wolfe was well and truly happy? Elated? Maker, he didn't know why he was asking this, but he didn't take it back, either. He simply needed to hear whatever Justice would say.

His thoughts went, unbidden, to that moment he'd given it. The uncertainty and curiosity giving way to understanding and a brightening to Wolfe's features Anders hadn't seen in ages. It had seemed like joy. Maybe even relief, though he couldn't begin to understand why.

Well...perhaps he could; Wolfe had put the choice on Anders and he had no way to know Anders would ever make it. And considering the whole 'ceremony' of it was more important to the healer than it ever was to Wolfe meant, when Anders put forward the proposal, he was serious about it.

Despite everything they'd gone through, the betrayal, the anger, the love and sadness and longing and finally peace, it had always seemed to be in question if they would last. Not to Wolfe, but to Anders. He thought Hawke better without him and, at times, he thought the whole world better off without him and the thought of ending everything himself had crossed more than once. Wolfe probably thought that was still a possibility at times. But offering that ring meant Anders was offering the assurance it wasn't and, on top of that, agreeing they'd walk into the Void hand-in-hand, no matter Anders' misgivings about Wolfe's choice of partner. A promise that they'd put that to rest.

That's what it was to Anders and what he meant when he offered it. He was sure it was overwhelming joy and relief and love that Hawke felt, but in his heart he had to wonder if even a piece of the other mage doubted and felt regret that the ball and chain had finally been latched. That perhaps, he had still wanted to be free of the renegade apostate and was too Hawke to say so.]

[whatisright]

Finally.

[When Justice says it, it's not with the same borderline monotone timbre he usually says things. He inflects the words like Wolfe does, and his eyes stay closed, his grip on the ring white-knuckled.]

I was starting to think he'd never do it. Rush rising in my chest, relief in my head, it almost makes me dizzy. The rings are beautiful. When did he get these? It changes nothing for me, I was always going to be with him, but I'm so happy that he knows that now. I love him, my ridiculous, wonderful apostate.

[Justice comes back to himself suddenly with a jerk, his grip loosening on the ring and his voice returning to his own inflection.]

He wished to spend the rest of his life with you, with or without rings. He loves you.

[apurrstate]

[The change in Justice's inflection is a punch to the gut and every word after is both a weight and uplifting to his heart. He covers his eyes with one hand while the other clenches the bedspread with white knuckles. There was a stinging to his eyes and a lump in his throat threatening to choke him with every passing second, but he already knew that was as far as the threat would go. The tears -of happiness or loss he couldn't decide- wouldn't come.]

I know.

[His voice was barely a whisper under the emotions he'd been fighting back all morning, but he meant them all the same.

He knew everything he'd just heard, but his heart could never believe it fully. There was always a shade of doubt, of 'what if that changes' and 'it ought to change' battled with the longing to hold onto it and fight for the feeling tooth and nail. But Justice wouldn't lie and wouldn't know enough about the two of them together to make it up even if he wanted to, hearing it...even if he knew it, hearing it made it real and solid. It gave it more weight coming from someone else than it ever had coming from Wolfe whom Anders had never been able to fully trust not to change his mind or see reason all too late.

His ridiculous, wonderful, apostate. His Champion.

As much as it hurt right now...he did feel better.]

Thank you.

[whatisright]

[Justice thinks this was helpful? It's not entirely clear, because it looks like Anders is just on the edge of crying and he wasn't before, but he's thanking Justice and Justice can feel the catharsis on the edge of the pain so he decides that maybe this is necessary.

Justice takes what he has learned from Leilani and Riona--that mortals like affection when they are in pain--and he wraps his arms around Anders, pulling him into a hug.

He doesn't know what words would make it better. He doesn't know if anything would make it better. But he loves Anders, and he's here for him, for better or for worse.]

[apurrstate]

[Anders clings to the hug like a man drowning, but remains silent. There's nothing left to say and he has no say over what he feels, all he can do is ride it out until it fades with time and becomes something bearable.

His thoughts trace lazily over everything, his face turned to the side with his cheek pressed to Justice's shoulder. They run over the last few months since they'd reawoken here and even before that, when they'd first arrived and Anders hadn't even known who Wolfe was. He supposed that was a possibility, if Atroma wanted to be really cruel, they'd bring Wolfe back, but more than ten years younger, perhaps before the Blight was even a concern or simply when he'd first arrived in Kirkwall while Anders was busy being a Warden. Wouldn't that be a cruel twist of irony?

His eyes fell over the four kittens, still playing with each other and the various toys Anders had lying about for them. Eventually, his eyes fell to the bottle Justice had brought, only barely touched and looking fairly appealing right now. But a thought drifts through his mind at the same pace as all the others that leaves a rumble in his chest. A rumble that turns to a chuckle that turns to full-laughter that shakes his shoulders even as he tries to muffle himself.]