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[moseyin]

Anybody else miss having monsters around to beat the crap out of
Just somethin you can wail on until you stop feeling like you wana punch a wall

This is not a I want someone 2 fight post either Id just like stuff that deserves killing to b around to kill is all

Comments

[moseyin]

[what...the fuck

Every time Zack tells him something new, Cloud hates ShinRa even more. Which is unfortunate considering there's no ShinRa to pummel on anymore.]

Did they just go out and hire the craziest, most sadistic hacks for their science department or something?

[wingenvy]

[Zack sets free a bark of quick, sour laughter, quickly stifled into a sigh.]

Yeah, probably. And y'can't even say they got the job done by being all evil and inhumane about everything. All their projects went to hell and nobody came out on top.

[Even they, who were inarguably the only ones who could stand on the moral high ground, ended up either dead or supremely fucked up. Not exactly a victory.]

I did meet a guy who'd gotten out of ShinRa R&D and was trying to atone for everything, one time. Been so long I forgot about him. I didn't think "remorse" even existed in their vocab until I talked to him.

[moseyin]

[Lucrecia springs to mind as someone who'd tried to get out of it, but not after injecting her unborn baby with alien germ cells, so. Kind of a moot point there, sorry Vince.]

I know a ShinRa guy like that too...wasn't in R&D though. Maybe that's his only saving grace, who knows. [Hesitantly...pets dog....]

[wingenvy]

[The dog tolerates it, making no move towards or away from Cloud. It might be sweet if it wasn't vaguely unnerving. Zack looks more thoughtful than anything; not sad, not angry, but pensive in a way that's unusual for him.]

Maybe ShinRa just... changes people. Maybe we got out- or got kicked out, I guess- before we got all jaded about the kind of shit we were ordered to do.

[moseyin]

[Yeah okay done touching the monster, straightens up and away]

I don't know about you, but I feel pretty jaded.

[wingenvy]

Nah, Cloud, I mean-

[Zack exhales heavily through his nose, scuffing a hand through his hair as he searched for the words.]

...You know I fought in Wutai, right? The war?

[moseyin]

Oh.

[That's...right. Well- Cloud doesn't remember it, of course, but it makes sense if Zack's two years older than him. He'd have been there, wouldn't he?] What about it? What happened over there?

[wingenvy]

Well, lots of stuff. [Some better than others. In a sense that's where everything started to go wrong.] I was thinking of this one fight I had... the leader of Wutai's big elites, they called themselves the Crescents. Instead of attacking me right off the bat, he asked me if I was satisfied with working for the "evil ShinRa". If I'd consider switching sides, for the sake of "justice". Back then, I had no idea- I'd already made my choice, and the idea of betraying them felt like the worst decision I could possibly make. I had my doubts, especially hearing the other side of things, but... I couldn't throw away my loyalty to ShinRa. I thought, "this is my honour, I'll stand by them". I thought I was going to become a hero, but he called me a villain.

[His fingers twist together, fists clenching and unclenching.]

I didn't walk away then, 'cause I thought I was doing the right thing. But what if I just didn't care? What if I saw how much they were suffering because of ShinRa and thought, whatever, it's fine as long as fighting for them is what's best for me? If I'd heard that kinda story enough times that it's all just noise to me? That's what I mean by jaded. I don't think you're like that.

[moseyin]

[Maybe a few months ago Cloud would've had a harder time taking all of this in; the idea of Zack being anything but the purest, strongest hero, high above reproach, would've rubbed him so wrong that he wouldn't have bothered even trying to listen to the explanation.

Not that he necessarily agrees with Zack now, but it's...easier to hear. Zack's a little closer to the ground, now, after everything.]

You really think you wouldn't have cared? [It's an honest question, but Cloud still knows the answer.] You can't blame yourself for bein' brainwashed, Zack, we all were. If you coulda known, you'd have cared. I know you would've.

[wingenvy]

[Zack pauses for a few moments, surprised, before he offers up a rueful smile. Kind of him, but ultimately, not necessary. He's kind of flattered by Cloud's protective streak, even if it's just for the sake of Zack's theoretical morality.]

I know that. I just mean that it could've gotten bad if we'd ended up sticking around. I didn't choose to leave ShinRa- the decision was made for me. Knowing what I know now, it doesn't feel very noble.

[moseyin]

You stood up to Sephiroth, the strongest SOLDIER there ever was, for some backwater town full of folks you didn't even know. [Sorry, Cloud's gonna be like a dog after a bone with this one, Zack.] I get what you're saying, but it's not fair of you to look at all the horrible crap that happened to you and look at how you failed during it. It's not right.

[wingenvy]

Cloud...

[Buddy you're even more fired up about this than Zack is.]

I don't think it's a bad thing to admit that I could've noticed it sooner. Learn from your mistakes, y'know? I'm not beating myself up over it, not exactly.

[Maybe picking himself as the example had been a bad idea.]

[moseyin]

[yeah probably]

...sure, yeah. Maybe so. [Not that he agrees, but considering he said the same thing to Aerith a little while ago maybe he shouldn't come off as too much of a hypocrite.] -anyway, so, dog's staying. I promise I won't touch it.

[wingenvy]

[Zack opens his mouth to respond, but stops to give it a moment's consideration. This is one of those things where they're not gonna agree on, isn't it? They could argue the whole day long but they're both too damned stubborn to budge.

Just... gonna file this one away for a "maybe later". He's in a weird mood today and he doesn't want a big fight to turn it sour.]

...Thanks, man. I know he won't cause any trouble.