driftfleet | Dumpster World Mingle

Entry tags:

Dumpster World Mingle

Who: Everyone!
Broadcast: Always possible one will sneak in
Action: TRASH PLANET! aka The Baruut System
When: October 2018

[When life gives you garbage, make projects of varying scopes and sizes! Site see in the lovely trash-covered vistas. Make a racing pod thing or go gambling. And remember the first rule of arena fighting is... not the face? Actually, I'm not sure if there are rules, but you can talk about it. It's pretty public anyway.

Enjoy your landfill of a system!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Uh, gross? I'm a fucking classy individual, I don't resort to 2nd grade jokes, dude.

[he looks so offended, how dare you Taako, he doesn't do pull my finger jokes ever]

You were just in a dumpster.

[Just pointing that out, Classy McClassFace.

Also he puts nothing out of progress reach after traveling with Magnus and Merle. He still regards Ben's hand with suspicion.]

Yeah, not by choice. Remember? Thrown in?

[look he isn't classy at all, but he didn't want to end up in the dumpster, ok.

It's just a normal hand Taako what's the big deal]

[Still, being in a dumpster at all reduces Class points by a critical number. Taako still isn't taking his hand.]

If this causes me any harm, I'll send you up there with your friend.

[you need to actually have class points to lose them]

It ain't gonna cause any harm at all, I swear. I'm just a guy, remember? I ain't a fancy fuckin' wizard like you are.

Mmhmm, says the guy who took on Goliath Lite and didn't just snap in half..

[He's squishy. Very squishy. And he's nearly died enough times to know just how squishy he is and desire not to be squished anymore.]

But just so we're clear?

[He points to Ben, then the roof. He'll blast him up there if he has to.

For now, he very carefully extends his hand.]

[Ben rolls his eyes]

You're overreacting. And now I'm not gonna do what I was gonna do because you'll probably smack me with my own damn arm and I ain't up for that today. [so instead he grabs Taako's hand - just to show him it's a normal hand and nothing was gonna happen anyway, see!! - and turns their hands over so he can see his wrist - which is a little - rough. And that's definitely computer bits showing through the fake skin]

Mist planet, made you see shit. Made me see my arm malfunctioning like it was gonna explode. Proceeded to freak out.

[Yeah, he probably would have. Or taken it. He's not Magnus, but he also loves to steal shit. When Ben turns his hand over and shows him the robotic wires coming out, Taako peers at them with curiosity. Maybe it's like Merle's arm minus the divine power flowing through it?

A quiet "Huh" escapes him as he looks at it.]

Yeah, that would qualify for a freak out. A guy I know freaked when he lost his arm and it didn't even explode.

[But now a question rises in his mind.]

How much of you is robotic?

I freaked out after. Kinda busy trying not to die when I actually lost the arm. Little distracted.

[just like talking about the weather. He shrugs and lets go of Taako's hand]

I'm not robotic, it's cybernetics - slight difference, it's still me making it all move. Just not the original parts. And it's - uh, 30% or so? Couple of organs, an eye. Former corporal for a reason.

[He draws his hand back and looks at it. Nope, that was still weird. Not as weird as touching Merle's magical wood arm, but still a little weird - but also cool. Minus the missing organs and an eye thing.]

What happened to take 30% of you away? That seems...big?

[Definitely big. Merle practically fainted from having just an arm taken off.]

[he shrugs, like it isn't a big deal at all]

I mean, I almost died, so yah, it's kinda big. I got blown up.

[Taako's blown people up before, but never so badly they lost parts of themselves. And something tells him that this guy is from a world that doesn't have clerics to just heal that shit back up.]

Yeah, that's definitely kinda big. Are these "cybernetics" things normal where you're from? It's all sort of new to me.

I kinda figured, y'know, being a wizard and all. [wizard doesn't scream "dystopian future" to him] They're normal now, but when I got mine they were still - sort of for people who needed them? Common enough, but not everyone was getting them. Nowadays everyone gets all kinds 'cuz they're cheap and it's a fuckin' fad. Nothing like - replacing an entire arm, but smaller shit.

Don't pigeonhole us, my dude. We had elevators.

[And robots and a floating base on the moon and cannons that shot people in spheres all over the damn world. Faerun was mostly normal, but ever since he joined the Bureau, things had just gotten weirder and weirder.]

And you became an unwilling trendsetter then, hm? I wonder if that will ever take off on my world.

[As long as they never ever look like Upsy.]

Yeah, wizard doesn't scream 22nd Century to me, sorry. Maybe 21st. They were all obsessed with that stuff.

[he says it like he doesn't know anything about it even if he does, because he gets bored and he likes stupid random-ass trivia. He makes a face]

Do I look like I'm a trendsetter? No fuckin' way. Celebrities started doing it, so then everyone else did, how it always goes.

Wizards have been around since the beginning - if you want old shit, try things like when the dragonborn first came into being and the time when the gods actually walked around rather than sitting pretty in their planes.

[Wizards are just normal, man. Whoever first decided to crossbreed with a dragon though? That shit had to be insane.]

Well Taako's never going for any enhancements - no offense - so maybe it won't take off after all.

[Why mess with perfection, right?]

[. . .]

Yeeeeeeah, see, that kinda shit? Not real where I'm from. That's the kinda shit you see in movies or - I don't know, video games or whatever. Or books, probably.

[he has no idea what the fuck you're going on about dude, what the fuck is a dragonborn and why does it sound cool]

None taken, I fucking hate that it's a trend. Why would you wanna stick shit in your arm when it's perfectly fine? You know what I'd give to have my real arm back? Idiots.

Merle complains about his arm all the time and Magnus literally chopped it off to save his life. His new arm? Made of enchanted holy wood or some junk, but yeah, I get you. He'd probably take Magnus' arm if he could.

[Taako snickers at the thought of that. Magnus' arm is already about as long as Merle's entire short stubby dwarf body.]

No idea about movies or video games - whatever those are - but it's real as real can be where I'm from, my man. Totally normal everyday stuff where crystallized golems try to punch your head off and dragons collect shit in mountains. Also?

[He indicates his elongated and pointed ears.]

Elves.

I can't even imagine what having an enchanted wood arm would be like. Sounds like just as much of a pain in the ass as mine is, though. Can't really blame him if he complains all the time, I do too.

[a snort] There's movies and games on the network if you wanna find out what they are, but they're shitty. [...] Oh yeah, that sounds real fuckin' normal.

Noticed that, though. Was gonna make some Tolkien jokes, but you said you're a wizard so it doesn't really work out .

Acts pretty much like yours, except it's wood not wires.

[And that sometimes Pan will give Merle a middle finger through it. That's always good for a laugh.]

Are elves not wizards in Tolkien? Because that's some bullshit. I'm a fucking great wizard and we've got more time than anyone to study magic, so why wouldn't we?

Does it short out? Like, magical short outs? 'Cuz if so then that really sucks.

Elves are wizards, but the one I was thinking of is . . . [hold on, he's reaching for the information in his brain] I forget what he does, but he doesn't use magic, I don't think. Archer, maybe? Warrior? Some class I'm probably forgetting? I don't know, it's been a long time since I read those things.

He pissed Pan off once and his finger fell off.

[Which was hi-lar-i-ous at the time.]

But it grew back.

[Taako shrugs.]

And sounds like a ranger type. Noooot my speed. I'm all for the little animals, but being able to pull hellfire from the Elemental Planes is so much more satisfying than making woodland creature friends.

[...] If I piss Gema off she makes my arm punch me, so I can sympathize.

You'd know better than me, dude. Arrows are cool, but hellfire sounds equally as cool. [a shrug] Think we got other elves here, if a million people haven't already told you that.

[....Taako can't help himself; he sniggers at the thought of whoever this Gema person is making Ben punch himself. "Stop hitting yourself." "Gema!" "Stop hitting yourself." "GEMA."]

Sounds like someone I'd like.

And I've heard, but the only other elf I've run into so far is the one that stole my face.

["Shares," Taako, not stole.]

She's a likeable person when you don't piss her off.

[the voice of experience, folks]

The - I'm sorry, what? Stole your face?

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