001

[onlyanapple]

Who: Crowley and OPEN
Broadcast: Fleet-wide; video
Action: Planet and Pathstone
When: 22nd

ACTION;

[Those visiting the planet today might notice Crowley happily helping himself to the free alcohol on offer. He doesn't get involved in the festivities1 instead just grabbing crates upon crates of booze, happily taking them towards the waiting Pathstone. Occasionally, he will stop to get himself some terrible food, or watch people wandering by.

Those aboard the Pathstone will have the delights of Crowley trying to get his crates into various nooks and crannies of his communications station. He still avoids the cargo hold, just in case Tek has stored more dead bodies down there.

Eventually, he notices his captain's bunk is missing, which he cannot allow. The nice bed is the one and only decent thing about the crappy job that has been thrust upon him.]

Who the sodding hell has nicked my bed?!!

NETWORK;

[Crowley finally deigns to post to the network himself from his comms station, occasionaly flicking switches to listen to random BEE-BOP noises. Why? He has his reasons. Reasons that may or may not involve an attempt to put annoying flash games on the system at some point in the future.]

'Lo people, Crowley here, unfortunate Captain of the SS Dysfunction. Sorry, Pathstone. Wondering if anyone else got one of these.

[He holds the weird red stone one of the happy inhabitants had given him.]

Because I don't know about you, but I've gained a healthy distrust of possibly magical objects, and I'd like to know if one of these had blown up on anyone, or turned someone into a slug or something. [A considerate pause.] No one's started worshipping them, have they? Because that doesn't end well.



1.- Even in space, he could only dance like all demons from his world could dance. Which is to say the sort of dancing he wasn't evil enough to inflict on other people's retinas.

Comments

[heresyandlace]

[he finally slides off the thing, along with most of the blankets, but he lazily grabs the edge of it before it skitters too far away]

Oh, I'm not? ...And what would be your type, out of curiosity?

[onlyanapple]

[The bed tugs, ineffectually, trying to head forward.]

Not the type that might try to murder me in my sleep.

[heresyandlace]

[ugh, he siiiighs]

I promise that I won't ever try to murder you unless you are facing me and fully awake. How about that?

...And I thought you were immortal, besides.

[onlyanapple]

That is no less creepy.

I am, but it would still hurt.

[heresyandlace]

[he groans as none of this is going at all how he'd wanted]

...Okay, look. I think we've gotten off on the wrong foot.

[he tugs on the cot, half-assedly trying to get it to come back in his direction]

I really have very little interest in murdering or eating my crewmates or whatever else it is that you're so sure I'm about to do at any moment.

...Right now, all I want in the whole world is just to sleep.

I'm sure we can work something out.

[onlyanapple]

[Crowley watches him for a moment.]

Fine, I'll admit you might not be some crazed pyscho killer. But you're still not having my bed. If you want that bed, go ahead and become captain, the bed comes with the job.

[heresyandlace]

[and... Tek watches him right back. there are some serious wheels turning in his head now, and that's maybe not a great thing.]

...It really would be better for everyone if we just share.

You could have it right back after I've had some sleep.

[because otherwise, Tek is totally becoming captain, and nothing in the universe is going to be happy about it]

[onlyanapple]

[Crowley meets that gaze.]

One might take that as a threat, with a tone like that.

[heresyandlace]

One could take it that way, I suppose.

[because it totally is a threat]

Or it could be taken as an excellent offer and we'd all have some wonderful sleep.

[onlyanapple]

That's what I'm aiming for. Wonderful sleep. In a bed that's mine.

1/2

[heresyandlace]

You're aiming to ruin my day.

[he tugs on the cot again, dragging against its own legs]

2/2

[heresyandlace]

...One last offer to let me fix the nest, and then we share.

[he even manages a smile. because he's tired and crabby enough to really try one last time for a truce.]

I promise you won't regret it.

[onlyanapple]

Of course I am, that's what I do.

You really aren't getting this 'I Don't Share' thing, are you?

[heresyandlace]

[the smile evaporates and he lets go of the bed, expression going totally cold.

he's tired, and now he's also crabby.

Two can play at the day-ruining game, and the line has been drawn in the sand.]

[onlyanapple]

[Crowley doesn't seem to care, he's had worse looks. Mostly from Hastur, but occasionally from Aziraphale when he failed to use a coaster for his drink.

Wordlessly, he follows his bed out, unaware of the horror he has wrought upon their fair ship.]