[Closed]

[padadin]

Who: Shiro, Biffy, Lyall and Ulaz - Shiro and Allura
Broadcast: No
Action: SS Blameless - Iskaulit gym
When: Morning - noon of the 4th

A. Sunday morning, Blameless - Biffy, Lyall and Ulaz

[Shiro doesn't like getting drunk.

No, really, he doesn't! He's only done it twice in his life... well, three times now. Saturday evening with Jim has ended with a few more beers than usual. Can you blame him, though? Another proof that the universe hates him has come up, and it only adds to the guilt.

At least he gets to sleep through the hangover. Talking to Jim and Keith has helped, even if his conversation with Keith probably wasn't even a true conversation. He's afraid to check. Will his nightmares get worse from now on? Will Baku get drunk from his drunk dreams? Is his dog bothered by the smell of beer?

Who knows. Not him. He's sleeping, and sleeping deep. He hasn't gotten up at 6am for his morning run, woah! But hey, everyone is always telling him to rest, right? So today he's resting. Sleeping in. This captain has the right to a Sunday off!

Except the one time he does that, they come to his door and knock. Ugh. Shiro groans as he wakes up with a killing headache. Has knocking always been this loud?]

Who is it? [He somehow manages to... mumble.]

B. Sunday morning-ish/noon, Iskaulit gym - Allura

[Just because he woke up late and his friends scolded him to hell and back, it doesn't mean he's skipping his morning exercise. In fact, he needs it more than ever, headache or not. Exercise helps him tire his body and clear his mind, which can be hard when he's alone with his thoughts.

Like now. Thank goodness these punching bags were especially made for people with special abilities, so Shiro is letting his new arm go loose... more than ever. There's obvious anger in his strikes, extra hard and extra fast, each hit is filled with frustration. Not even Galra sentries have been punched like this by him.

This is how Allura will find him, punching the bag like his life depended on it and his face looking like he ate something that didn't do well to his stomach.]

Comments

[padadin]

[Forehead still resting against the punching bag, Shiro closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Does he want to talk about it? He doesn't even know anymore. He's just emotionally drained.]

...the Galra -Sendak- arrived to Earth before we did.

[princessences]

[ Allura says nothing for a long moment.

Sendak.

Not a name that any should be glad to hear, but the personal affect that it has on Shiro is not lost on her. He hadn't handled Sendak being on the Castle well, and his arrival at the Kral Zera hadn't been welcome either, though she now understands that wasn't the same Shiro...exactly.

But even if it hadn't been Sendak, specifically, the Galra reaching Earth first? ]

...

[ It can't be good news. ]

What of Earth?

[padadin]

It's there. And it's healing now that we got there to help. But for a long while... they weren't. They hanged on what they could. It has lost more than half of its population, it--

[He's tired, and his head hurts. Kirk and Keith were nice to him last night, told him to hang in there, that it isn't his fault. But he still feels undone, broken, especially the argument with his crew. For once, he wants to stay mad at the world. For once, he doesn't feel patient and understanding. And after Allura felt like she did with Lotor, it invites Shiro to talk a bit more.]

...it would better if I hadn't let Sendak gone, Allura. He would still be alive. [The guilt - it's heavy.]

[princessences]

[ Allura is ready to do the same, to reach out and put a hand on his shoulder, but she pauses as soon as he starts to shift the blame to himself. ]

No. Shiro.

[ Her voice is firm, commanding his attention. ]

If not Sendak, it could have easily been someone else. That the majority of the Voltron Paladins hail from Earth isn't unknown. The Galra Empire will always strike where it hurts the most. Please remember that no place in the universe has been safe from their tyranny. And no single person has the power and ability to put a stop to it--if that were the case, this war would have ended ten-thousand years ago.

[padadin]

[Similar things have been said by both Jim and Keith, and it gets a bit easier to hear them every time. He won't feel better overnight, but he's working on it. Every word helps - a lot. That ending though...

If that were the case, this war would have ended ten-thousand years ago.

She's right, and it feels a bit like a slap to the face.]

Ten thousand years ago... you've lost so much - more than me. [He's lost his sanity, but she has no homeland to go back to. His argument with Biffy comes back to him.] Is it selfish to feel like the universe hates me?

[princessences]

[ That stops her immediately.

Allura has been mourning of her planet and her people since she woke up--that hasn't changed even when arriving in this universe. She wears pink for a reason, after all, and one of those reasons was Shiro.

But she does feel that she's lost much. So much. There's a hole in her soul that she will wear until her last moments.

Still, she shakes her head after a moment. ]

We've all lost and been hurt by the actions of the Galra Empire. And each loss is one too many.

[ Allura can't go around feeling sorry for herself, even if somedays it's harder than others. She has to keep pushing forward--they all do. ]

...No, I don't think it's selfish. You have been through unimaginable trials and danger, and suffered for it. But what matters is that you have persevered against all odds. You have proven to universe wrong at each and every turn. Isn't that what they call "showing it your thumb"?

[padadin]

[Many people have told him similar things, but it means a lot coming from her, who also keeps being laughed at by the universe. It feels like validation, like-- permission.

Of course, what makes him chuckle is something else.]

You mean "giving it the finger"? [The tension of the moment gone thanks to that, Shiro finally pulls back from where he was resting against the punching bag and rubs his face before looking at her with soft, thankful eyes.] Thank you. And sorry you had to see me like this. [He sounds super shameful. This isn't the Black Paladin she signed up for.] I keep giving the universe the finger and I couldn't help the feeling of my hard work- our hard work being rewarded... like this. [He hangs his head.] I know it's not about us. We're not magically armored against consequences. It'll take a while to free a whole universe. Everyone has suffered, I'm not special, and yet--

[Is it bad to feel like he keeps getting the worst of it?]

[princessences]

Yes, that one. The thumb is a finger, isn't it?

[ Maybe the saying doesn't translate quite the same in Altean.

But she waves off his apology. ]

You're my friend, Shiro. You have nothing to apologize for.

[ They all have a breaking point. She's certainly reached hers more than once and her friends have been there to help her through it. ]

For as much as we're fighting for everyone--for the universe itself, there are hurts that are personal. Please...don't disregard your suffering. But don't forget that each and every time you have come out from it. You have shown the universe again and again that you're stronger than it. And that is an inspiration to all of us.

[padadin]

It is, but different fingers have different meanings. Thumbs up means approval.

[Probably not the right time to get into that, but better correct this soon. He doesn't want her to accidentally offend someone.

Allura's words are very sweet and encouraging and-- oh. Well then. Shiro grabs the back of his neck, feeling even more self-conscious now, because apparently being hangover isn't enough.]

I don't feel very inspirational at the moment, I must admit. In fact, it's more like the exact opposite. ["At least I didn't arm wrestle people", he mumbles to himself. This time he wasn't a happy drunk...] But I got to say, it's... nice to be able to present myself to you like this, even if it's embarrassing too. Kind of freeing, if you catch my meaning.

[It's good to be able to put this trust in Allura, he means, to be able to open up and treat her like he would treat any close friend instead of always keeping up the strong leader mode for the sake of the team. He's learned a lesson, and he's trying to apply it.]