[ video + action ] in this world now I am undying ( iw update )

[dothelokimotion]

Who: Loki + You
Broadcast: Yes!
Action: SS First Breath
When: Right now!

( feed: action )

[ the feed turns on and you're not sure why. all is quiet on the ship front. there doesn't seem to be much activity on the first breath, even this late. all is silent. until you hear a crackle. suddenly ice speeds its way over the walls, ceilings and floors of the ship, instantly freezing everything along its path. everything is coated in silvery, sharp ice, cold to the touch.

and for a moment, a shrill scream echoes throughout the ship before going quiet with the feed. ]

( much later: video )

[ loki turns the feed on. he looks queasy and ready to drop off right then and there, but he clears his throat, coughing as it hurts. ]

My apologies. It seems I lost control of my magic. I will immediately see to any repairs. But perhaps people coming by should mind their step in the meantime.

[ he looks like he has more to say, but he ducks his head, turning off the feed. ]

Comments

[postocular]

[ Carl looks very skeptical about this. ]

You may be an asshole, but you're not evil.

[dothelokimotion]

[ he merely shakes his head. ]

Evil or not, there's no denying that what took place is what was meant for me all along.

[postocular]

Maybe. What does Thor think about it?

[ He wasn't there, so it's hard for him to say. Hopefully the lore is separate from what actually took place. ]

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki frowns inwardly. ]

Thor has more important things to concern himself with.

[postocular]

Is that according to you or to Thor? Because I'm willing to bet that he cares.

[dothelokimotion]

Of course he cares. He simply should not bother with it.

[ thor should not bother with him. loki's made his bed. ]

[postocular]

He should, because you're family. That's the most important thing.

[dothelokimotion]

[ the most important thing. loki almost wants to scoff. ]

I certainly have proven that I do not regard it that way.

[postocular]

You can't change the past, but what about now?

[dothelokimotion]

[ he snorts. ]

What can I possibly change, here in this place, where nothing changes?

[postocular]

Yourself? Your relationships?

[dothelokimotion]

I am tired of trying and having to amount to this — this nothingness. I'm tired of dying.

[postocular]

Dying is...scary. Doesn't matter if it's here or home, but...this place isn't nothing. Not while we're all living in it. If it is, then...I don't know. I guess I'm in nothingness, too.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki bites his tongue. ]

But you prefer it here.

[postocular]

Yeah..As fake as it may be, it's still living. It's like getting a life you didn't get to have at home. You can do anything.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki snarls. ]

My life was meant to be out there! With Thor, with my people!

[postocular]

And I was supposed to be there for my dad and my little sister! We were supposed to build something better. Sometimes shit happens that you can't control. It sucks, and it's not fair, because there's so much you were supposed to do, but you can't change what happened.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki rears back at that, frustration melting away to pain. he wraps his arms around himself. ]

It shouldn't have happened.

[postocular]

No..it shouldn't, and I'm sorry that it did. You didn't deserve that.

[dothelokimotion]

[ didn't he? didn't he deserve all of it? his shoulders sag. ]

I suppose it no longer matters. None of it did.

[postocular]

[ Carl shakes his head. ] It matters because you matter.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki gives an ugly bark of laughter. ]

I never mattered to this story. It was never mine to begin with.

[postocular]

Your story is always yours, nobody can take that. You know that, right?

[dothelokimotion]

I've left it to Thor. It's best to put it out of mind.

[postocular]

You can't help but worry, though. Worry about Thor and your people.