driftfleet | 004 to sleep, perchance to dream

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004 to sleep, perchance to dream

Who: Sansa Stark
Action: Marsiva like everyone else, alas.
When: 7 February

( Being a social sort of person, Sansa's current confinement on the Marsiva has been more than trying on her patience. She's had her memories invaded and hasn't been able to spend time with Tyrion the way she likes to at night. She hasn't been able to have training with Jim or Bucky. She hasn't been able to meet Kogarasumaru for tea or Leia to chat. She hasn't even been able to work on Akeldama's fine coats as much as she wants.

She is, overall, wholly unhappy with the situation.

The Atroma, being a cruel sort, had not provided her with any of her needlework to occupy her time. They did give her a warm shawl she'd gotten in the last system, though, and a pair of fuzzy slippers. She takes both with her to the main room and tries to find a book that catches her fantasy. Unlike Tyrion, she's no reader, and she wishes there were cards or a cyvasse board to better occupy her time. She picks one and pages through it. It turns out to be unwieldy, though, and not the romantic fantasy she'd prefer. And, as such, she ends up falling asleep with the book on her chest, startling when she hears someone come up alongside her. )

I'm awake, I swear it! I only dozed off for a moment.

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[They realize about the same time the gender mismatch but Bucky thinks Sansa has a terrific point: there are only two of them, and why don't they just trade parts back and forth? It's all in good fun anyway.]

That's a perfect idea. I mean, it's not like this is a performance, it's just for us.

[Which means of course that at one point Bucky will be reading Titania's part opposite Sansa's Oberon, and if that's not amusing, that what truly is?]

We used to have mummers troupes come from Braavos sometimes but never so far north as I lived. I only ever saw them when I went south to be married the first time. Are these plays still performed?

( The idea of getting to see a play performed appeals to her, somehow, and she wonders if they could do them in the Fleet. Not just with the two of them now, that's just to read, but properly. )

As far as I know they are. It's been a very long time since I've done anything like seeing a show.

[But reading the play, while a little silly with just two of them, is better than Bucky thinks any theater experience could possibly be. It's a moment of relaxation in a place where he doesn't feel very relaxed at all, and he can't thank Sansa enough for it.]

I could maybe ask someone who might know better, if you'd like.

I was thinking we might put one on ourselves, the next time we drift. There's no point in doing it when we're in a system, we'll want to go planetside, but sometimes drifting can be monotonous. I could even make costumes if we wanted to go that far.

( It's a bit silly, she supposes, but it's something to take her mind off the calibrations that have been happening at night. Her own have been harrowing. She has no idea what Bucky's are but if hers are any indication, they likely have raked up unpleasant memories. )

There's one way to find out, isn't there? Even just getting together enough people to read all the different parts if you didn't want to go for the full production.

[It might be something that some people would enjoy, wouldn't it? If not a full scaled dramatic production, a sense of something to do, regular meetings perhaps. Bucky himself isn't sure he'd be comfortable with it, but he's more than willing to encourage the idea. It's much better than talking about what's been going on during the night cycles here.]

My husband might be persuaded. He usually comes on board with things if I ask him nicely enough.

( Tyrion is much more interested in books and plays than she is, by far, but Sansa thinks this might be a way for lots of the Fleet to get to enjoy something to take their minds off the duller aspects of space. )

I wanted to thank you for what you said during my calibration. It's made it a little easier to bear as the nights have gone on.

You speak almost as if you expect him to say yes simply because he's your husband. But he might actually really enjoy it.

[Or he might not; Bucky hasn't met the man so he's not sure. But it probably is worth it for her to ask.]

I'm sorry you had to go through it to begin with. But I meant every word that I said to you; I'm glad some of it has brought you comfort.

( Sansa blushes a little. She realizes she had said it with the assumption Tyrion would want to go along with it and she's a little embarrassed about it. )

Ah, well, I hope he wants to. It's difficult being married sometimes, I confess. Have you ever been married, Bucky? Do you know what it's like?

I haven't. I don't.

[He shakes his head because it's as hard to explain. He thinks he might have had a relationship once? He's not sure, those parts of his past still too fragmented to be sure.]

I don't think I'm wired that way. For relationships I mean.

I don't...I would never say it's something everyone should have. There's certainly people who aren't good in relationships or those who feel better alone. I do think, though, it isn't good to completely isolate oneself. Luckily, you seem to have friendship figured out.

(Sansa gives him a smile and touches his hand a bit, wanting to convey precisely what his friendship has meant to her. He's been a godsend in many ways. )

And whether you want me to be or not, I am your friend.

Maybe that is the right way to put it. I think it's something I could have wanted once, but I also think that part of me died a long time ago.

[The way he says it doesn't make it sound like a loss though, and Bucky most certainly doesn't miss it. It's enough for him to try to figure out the concept of friends, of having people in his life who don't mean him harm. It's not what he would call trust, not yet, but he's more comfortable around certain individuals than he would have ever imagined being. Sansa of course is one of them.]

I think I actually do want that. As long as you're willing to put up with me.

I will always be your friend. And should you ever need me, I'll be there for you just as you've been here for me. You have my solemn word.

( Sansa squeezes his hand a bit, wanting to convey that warmth and depth of feeling. It's been so long since she felt comfortable with these gestures and now she feels she's thawing out bit by bit. )

I do appreciate that. Just as you have my word to continue being here for you.

[He turns his hand palm up under hers. Her fingers feel warm against his, he's surprised to note. He's not sure why it surprises him, but it does.]

Perhaps a little more reliably than Oberon and Titania, I think.

Well, I think anyone could be a bit more reliable than they are. Of course, they are fairies, so some leeway is likely indicated.

( Sansa squeezes his hand, happy to have it. While she's only known him for a short while, she thinks she has a fast friend in Bucky and those are rare for her these days. She likes having people around her she can trust and feel comfortable with and she hopes she serves the same purpose for him. )

Not everyone is boring and responsible like we are, after all.

I do suppose you're right. Those fairies are a shady bunch.

[He lets his fingers spread apart so that hers can slip in between them. Finding something pleasant about proximity and touch is new for him as well; maybe the reason this even works is that it feels like they're both relearning something.]

Are you saying that we should be a little more irresponsible?

[It comes out with an edge of teasing; Sansa definitely seem able to tap into a part of Bucky that he forgot even existed.]

( Sansa hasn't held hands with anyone other than Tyrion in quite a long while. Before Tyrion? No one that she could remember. It's nice, though, to have someone to call friend and to feel comfortable in their presence; she rather likes it. )

I think we could stand to be slightly more irresponsible, yes. It's been a long while since I've been frivolous and light-hearted.

Well, as soon as this is all over we'll be able to get back to our lessons. But I suppose that's still a little responsible, even with the dancing added in.

[And certainly Sansa is a good student! Challenged maybe in that fighting isn't natural for her the way it is for Bucky, but her desire to want to learn more than makes up for it — along with the knowledge that she doesn't want to learn for the purpose of doing someone harm.

He squeezes her hand just a little as he considers.]

What irresponsibly frivolous thing do you imagine us doing?

Hmm. Well, we could certainly practice dancing. I don’t know any Earth dances and you don’t know any Westerosi ones. That’s perfectly frivolous.

( Sansa grins at him. )

I love dancing but it’s something my husband cannot do with me. I need to steal my chances when I can.

That does sound like a perfect idea.

[And it'd give her a chance to teach him something new. That's attractive as well, for the thought that he doesn't have to focus on whether or not it's supposed to be something he remembers.]

I feel like it's something I used to do a lot, like something from a lifetime ago. Rediscovering it might be nice.

( Sansa likes the idea of him rediscovering something he’s lost. She likes knowing she’s helped him as much as he’s helped her. )

We shall have to make it so. I’m so grateful for you, Bucky. It’s been so long since I’ve had friends who are true and good.

It's my hope that I'll be able to be that sort of friend for you for as long as the time we're given.

[There's so little pressure from her, so little need to pretend, that it's more than a little refreshing. Bucky only hopes that they're able to keep it so.]

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004 to sleep, perchance to dream

this is my new favorite thing

i know, they are precious

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