brooklyn_boy: (Default)
brooklyn_boy ([personal profile] brooklyn_boy) wrote in [community profile] driftfleet2019-03-05 10:01 pm

Action | Who needs a gosh dang drink??

Who: Steve and everyone else who just needs to get drunk. One closed to existing CR
Broadcast: No
Action: The Iskaulit/Space Bar
When: Post Calibrations/Bombing the eff out of Marsiva


[OPEN]

Tony would probably be proud of Steve, if he were able to see him right now. He'd slap his back and welcome him back to the world of inebriation while ordering shots for everyone in the bar to commemorate the day. As it is, though, Tony isn't here and, without him, there's not a damn person who would feel proud in this entire bar. That's part of it's charm.

Steve sighs and swallows his fourth drink. It's strong and alien and somehow enough to give him a strong buzz but not enough to really get him drunk. Not yet, at least. But he's not a quitter, so bottom's up! He hisses a little at the burn of it and feels, not for the first time, like he was being a coward. He saw some stuff in those rooms, sure. But other people had it so much worse. Saw so much more. He should really be thankful, actually.

But he's not. And this is a 30's approved way of getting over trauma. There were worse ways of coping, he was sure. So for now he's just going to stay in his seat and keep ordering drinks until that elusive drunken state hits him once more.

Should only take another hour or three.


[CLOSED TO EXISTING CR]

No one could blame Steve for starting. He'd messaged his friends about fifteen minutes ago, telling them to meet him at the bar for some drinks. But just sitting here, waiting? It was done better with a drink in hand to look social, at least. And it's not like that one is going to be his last. No, after Calibrations he can imagine himself coming over here quite often. He can imagine all of them coming here quite often, in fact. But maybe tonight (today? Space was hard to judge) would help take some of the sting off. Or at least some of the awkwardness. 

But it wasn't as though they <i>chose</i> to share all of that. Loki, Steve is sure, would have preferred to keep his death to himself. And Thor? I am sure half of those memories were things he'd rather not have replayed over and over again. And <i>Hux</i>. God... That was just what Steve knew of. Who knew what other people had put his friends through? What they'd been through themselves? 

Steve preemptively orders another drink for whoever shows up first. Whoever it was, he's sure they won't say no. Not now. 

First round is on him.
stillgotmyleftarm: (quietly)

[personal profile] stillgotmyleftarm 2019-03-11 07:10 pm (UTC)(link)

And one of those you had to use a lot more than the others, [Bucky says wryly, if maybe with a little bit of grim humor. But then, you can't sell war bonds in the Midwest with a Brooklyn accent. He does get it, why they changed the way Steve spoke. He was supposed to represent every man, yadda yadda yadda. It was just... well, it was like he said. Jarring. For a second, it had made it that much easier for Bucky to think he'd been dreaming, more than once.

He's honestly not expecting the question - but even though he's not, he's not about to brush it off. He blinks at Steve for a moment, but it's clear that he's thinking over his answer, not coming up with ways to not answer it.

Finally, he says,] Fuck, no. [It's quiet, maybe almost, almost a little ashamed. But it's the truth. If Steve had come to him waving this fucking crazy stupid deadly idea in his face? No. Fuck no.]

But I'm not in charge of you. I would've told you no, and you would've done it anyway, [he adds - not angrily, but just... he knows that's how it would have gone down. He can't say he would have supported it. Bucky had wanted Steve home safe, knowing he was going to bite it in the war, most likely, but at least Steve wouldn't ever know what it was like. Even if he hadn't gotten drafted... he would've had to enlist eventually. How could he stay home, when he was able-bodied? The spirit wasn't willing, but the body... He laughs a little, at how backward it all is.]

I think it would've ended up the same. And then I'dve had to enlist, anyway, to keep your ass out of trouble.

stillgotmyleftarm: (Default)

[personal profile] stillgotmyleftarm 2019-03-11 08:25 pm (UTC)(link)

You did, [Bucky confirms, quiet but immediate, because if that's what Steve needs to hear, then it costs him nothing to confirm it.] You made the only call you could. You wouldn't be you, if you hadn't.

[He isn't sure if that means more or less, in light of everything here, but he hopes it means enough.

And then, of course, Steve turns it on him, and Bucky laughs, thickly.] Maybe a few.

[Had Steve hated him for going dancing instead of walking him into that recruitment center, his last night home? What would Steve think of him taking that plane down, instead of trying to land it? What had Steve thought would happen after the war, when he and Peggy got married and Bucky was the bachelor in an apartment all alone?

He's got some of the answers already, or close enough, solely based on the fact that his and Steve's histories are so much the same. It's comforting as much as it's painful, to know Steve made the same choices, given the circumstances. Went through the same things. Finally, though, he settles on,] Do you know what my kill record was, in the war?

[Being a sniper means seeing the guys you kill. It means planning it, doing it in cold blood, choosing to do it not because you're in danger, but because someone else is. It's not the same as fighting on the ground. And Bucky was good at it. Not Winter Soldier good, but he was still good. He was a fuckin' whiz with a rifle and a scope in his hand, and he was never sure he'd wanted to know what Steve might truly think of how high, how commended, that record really was. What Steve really thinks of someone like that, being Captain America now.

SHIELD had certainly kept it quiet - they couldn't erase history, and neither could the SSR, even at the time. But the numbers vary. And they're never mentioned in anything official - his awards are mentioned, his commendations and his patriotism. Not the faces of the guys whose heads he put bullets through.]

stillgotmyleftarm: (look down)

[personal profile] stillgotmyleftarm 2019-03-11 09:51 pm (UTC)(link)

[For a moment, Bucky's not really sure how what Steve is saying has anything to do with... well, anything. But even as he's maybe about to open his mouth, Steve seems to pick up on it, and motions for him to stay silent - so he does. He lets Steve talk. And while of course he doesn't remember what Steve's talking about, because for him it hasn't happened (yet?), he does remember what it's like to fight with Steve. To run missions with Steve. To have the steady stream of expletives about Steve's choices running through the back of his head, but an eye on his friend through his scope, and the knowledge that if Steve doesn't manage to get his stupid ass killed... they're going to accomplish something amazing.

His eyes eventually pull away from Steve, falling back onto his own bottle - and yeah, it doesn't take much to get Bucky to take another swig - or two. Even when Steve falls silent, Bucky's hands are still fiddling with his bottle, and maybe he's not looking at Steve, either, when he speaks, voice quiet because this is definitely, definitely something he's never said. Not out loud. Not to Steve, and not to anyone.]

I wanted to be the one doing the shit that wasn't easy. I wanted to keep the blood off your hands.

[He laughs, and wow, he's getting really good at laughing at things that just aren't funny.] It's so stupid, isn't it? It was a fucking war. Nothing's easy, and nobody's hands are clean.

But fighting with you was easy. Doing what I had to do. For you. Was easy.

[It didn't make picking up the shield easy, but it made it not a choice. Nothing he has done as Cap has been a choice he could possibly bear to walk away from.

And shit, Bucky thinks he might be pretty well on his way to being drunk by now, if he just actually said all that out loud.]

stillgotmyleftarm: (half smile)

[personal profile] stillgotmyleftarm 2019-03-12 02:39 am (UTC)(link)
[Bucky lets out a breath that's maybe a little shakier than he means, but his eyes go to Steve and his lips twitch up into this look that's... well, honestly, it's a little hard to read, because it's really a little hard for Bucky to figure out what he's feeling. Relief, respect, that bone-deep need to both smack Steve upside the head and stand between him and anything that would try to tear him down.

A box set. We protect each other. We're in it together. He'd wanted nothing more than to hear Steve say words like those again, since the day he'd died and Bucky had known he'd never hear them again. But now here he is, hearing them, and even with the cold churning feeling in his gut, when he thinks of just how badly he's failed his Steve... Steve, who is also his Steve, so much his Steve, is sitting here and telling him exactly what he needs to hear.]


You punk, [he says, and if his voice sounds a little strangled, Steve doesn't have to know it's because his throat feels tight and thick. At least it comes out a little stronger, a second later.] You're a fuckin' idiot, but I guess I must be, too.

And I think I'm at least a little drunk now, thank God, [he adds, with a laugh.] Because what you're saying almost, almost makes sense.

Although you do know I'm not gonna stop trying to keep you from doing shit that's too stupid, right? That's how this works.

[And Bucky has maybe wondered if Steve just... didn't feel he needed Bucky, anymore, once he'd gotten the serum. If Bucky had just become unnecessary. Extraneous. But he'd made sure, instead, to be indispensable. And he doesn't plan on stopping anytime soon, here and now.]
stillgotmyleftarm: (neutral good)

[personal profile] stillgotmyleftarm 2019-03-12 03:15 am (UTC)(link)
You do make bad decisions - and I was just tryin' to think like you, [Bucky points out, definitely aware that he hasn't felt this way, either, in a long time... and definitely hadn't, when he'd woken up kidnapped on some strange ship.

Well. If there's one thing he's learned, it's that life is never, ever what he expects it's going to be.]


I think we're both fucked, [he points out, and his answering grin is a little muzzy, too; he's still got a little liquid left in his bottle, but he also gets drunk a little faster than Steve. He's definitely starting to feel warm and floaty, though the big, warm hand on his leg is grounding. Good. Even if he doesn't need help staying on his stool, thanks.]

Yeah, but that's why we're here, right? I'm still impressed you can get drunk. Never thought I'd miss seeing it, but I kinda did. You always did need to learn to loosen up a little more than you could sober.

[Bucky, feeling magnanimous, pushes the rest of what little is left in his bottle toward Steve.]
stillgotmyleftarm: (smile 1)

[personal profile] stillgotmyleftarm 2019-03-12 04:06 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, I guess it does. [And he'd think he shouldn't think too hard about that, but they're already on a goddamn spaceship, so it's really not as weird, in the end, as it could be.

He frowns a little in concentration when Steve asks the question, but... Well, yeah. Of course he remembers. At least,]
I remember right before we started drinking, and then the next morning, [he points out, laughing a little.] But you were the bad influence on me. I was gonna stay in with you anyway, you thought you had to bribe me with hooch. I had to tell my ma it was something I ate.

[And Steve is still a bad influence - Bucky reaches for his bottle, to have a little of what Steve's having, soused or not.]
stillgotmyleftarm: (side)

[personal profile] stillgotmyleftarm 2019-03-12 02:20 pm (UTC)(link)

[Bucky scoffs.] Cards, at least. Come on, Steve. [Have another - sloppier - kick to the lower leg. He doesn't know what his Steve had been planning, but he knows that they had a good time nonetheless. And he hadn't missed the way Steve had been extra-prickly the entire week before; Bucky had maybe been on edge, too, because that fever had taken fucking forever to break. And every time Steve got knocked down by some bug... well, Bucky never slept right until he seemed on the mend. He'd been so antsy that his birthday had just seemed like no big deal, in comparison.] Honestly, your damn fever breaking was all I needed. That was a bad one.

[He does blow out a breath that's a little bit of a laugh, too.] She knew. I think she also knew that hangover was gonna punish me more than she ever could. [He eyes Steve.] Pretty sure your ma knew, too, pal.

[Although speaking of hangovers; Bucky reaches out and swirls what's left in the bottle, when Steve sets it down.] 'Least the serum means we get over 'em faster. [He can't drink like this and not expect one, but at least it will be abbreviated.

Then, maybe a little bolder (thanks, super-buzz), he turns to Steve and asks, seriously,] S'this all you spend your money on?

stillgotmyleftarm: (tilted)

[personal profile] stillgotmyleftarm 2019-03-12 04:23 pm (UTC)(link)

Callin' you a punk, punk, [Bucky says, bumping the outside of his foot against Steve's. But his face stays serious, because,] Can't do that back home, and I'm guessing you don't spend your days in a bar there.

[Look. There is nothing wrong with getting falling-down drunk every once in a while. Case in point: Bucky's week. He gets it. He does. But even if the serum will handle all of it,] You need a hobby, Rogers. What about that art?

[Because don't you give him that look, Steve. Be stubborn all you want. Bucky isn't about to let you drink every cent away, even if you don't need it here.]

stillgotmyleftarm: (smile 1)

[personal profile] stillgotmyleftarm 2019-03-12 04:57 pm (UTC)(link)

[Bucky doesn't startle when Steve's hand takes his, even if he's maybe a little quietly surprised at the intensity of the gesture. But that's Steve - intensity personified - and one corner of Bucky's mouth twitches, as he twists his hand around to grasp Steve back, thinking that whatever he needs, Bucky's happy to give him.

Of course he laughs a little because Steve, that is kind of pathetic, pal.] You putter around in the gym and think you're working out. And if you're painting him pictures, you really need to rethink some life choices.

[He knows Steve has said Loki isn't so bad. Bucky trusts Steve, of course, but he still maybe has some doubts.]

I guess you could, [He says, looking a little pleased. Bucky's always been proud of Steve's talent, and equally impressed by it. He's always thought Steve could really do something with it, even if he understands that it isn't what Steve wanted to do with his life. It's still frustrating, seeing those beautiful things bloom out of his hands, and Steve seeming to miss the whole point of it.

Then he grins, almost wickedly.] Need a model?

stillgotmyleftarm: (skeptical)

[personal profile] stillgotmyleftarm 2019-03-13 02:46 pm (UTC)(link)

[It's true; Bucky's callouses now are all gun callouses, along with the weirdly placed ones that come from handling the shield. And for Bucky's part, it's still a little strange: Steve's new hands, even if they fit him just as well as the rest of what the serum did to his body. His hands haven't changed so much - they used to seem a little oversized, and they were always cold. Now they're the right size, if stronger and the knuckles less knobbly, and they're always hot - one thing he'd definitely immediately noticed about the "new" Steve, aside from his sheer size. Steve ran hot after the serum, which made him the most popular foxhole buddy possible... and Bucky may have pulled rank as second-in-command to get Steve in his foxhole more often than not. Between the two of them (and the body heat Bucky's serum throws off), it had made their wartime digs almost cozy.

Steve starts talking, though, and it pulls Bucky out of his muddy thoughts - making him snort and bat at Steve's hand a little sluggishly (the alcohol is finally, finally really hitting his system, thank God) as he grabs at Bucky's shirt.] Excuse you, that's only for guys who buy me dinner first. [He must be drunk, because that almost sounds like he'd be willing to let a guy paw at him after a date, and that's definitely not something Bucky would normally consider. Or has ever considered.

Whatever. He's drunk, and there's something more important he wanted to say.]

And even if it was, people'd pay a hell of a lot for this anatomical study on their wall. I don't know how you got to be an artist when you clearly can't appreciate true beauty. What the hell would you paint?

stillgotmyleftarm: (Default)

[personal profile] stillgotmyleftarm 2019-03-13 05:57 pm (UTC)(link)

[If Bucky notices the pause, he seems to just count it as 'pulled one over on Steve' and looks all the more smug about it, before he squirms away (and does not fall off his stool, thanks very much) from the poke in the ribs.]

You don't know that. You also eat more than I do, if I remember correctly.

[Never mind that had been because Bucky had slipped rations and chocolate bars and stolen apples and whatever the hell else he could find into Steve's pack when he wasn't looking, during the war. Old habits die hard, and Bucky had learned from a young age how to sneak more onto Steve's plate without him noticing. Maybe turning him into a super-spy hadn't been that hard for HYDRA, after all.]

Trish O'Neal, [he murmurs, humming a little.] I guess maybe you do have an eye for nice things, after all. In some respects.

[He still kicks Steve again and steals his bottle for a drink.] You were always better at people than things. I mean, not that you're bad at still life, but anybody can draw flowers. Not everybody can draw a profile like you can. [It's a little more serious musing, but Bucky means it.] Besides. I've been on the cover of Time. Clearly I'll sell.

[Even if it had been for taking down the plane in Steve's absence. And again for apparently surviving it, seventy years later.]

stillgotmyleftarm: (half smile)

[personal profile] stillgotmyleftarm 2019-03-13 07:31 pm (UTC)(link)

Well, look - I know you were hoping your whole life to make it into Ladies' Home Journal, but... [Bucky trails off, smirking as he watches Steve's face flush, and not just from the alcohol - though he's got a bit of a healthy glow going on from that, too, and it's... familiar. It's nice. It just feeds back into that warm feeling the alcohol has kindled in his gut, and this time, his foot hooks itself around the rung of Steve's stool and pulls it closer, Steve and all.]

Yeah, well - those're real works of art, [he says, balancing one elbow on the bar and resting his chin in his hand. It is weird that Steve's sketchbooks are in museums - they are back home, too - and Bucky had only been able to bring himself to look at one for about five seconds before he'd started feeling sick. But here and now, with Steve alive and well and happily drunk in front of him... it doesn't seem so upsetting, anymore.] A real shame they've probably got 'em open to the cats for display.

[Then, a moment later - a little more serious,] You could just ask for 'em back, I bet.

[Bucky couldn't - they hadn't been his. But Steve could.]

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