driftfleet | (no subject)

Who: Natasha Romanoff
Broadcast: video
Action: SS Vanquish
When: now or later

[Natasha's face appears on the video, looking tired but focused. Thoughtful. She also looks like the image she presents, insofar as she can control it, is intentional. She's in her quarters, but the camera is angled to reveal little aside from a blank ship wall and the edge of her bunk behind her face and shoulders. There's no fumbling.

When the video starts, she flashes a slight smile.]

As announcements go, this one's a bit late. As of the end of calibrations, I've been the listed captain for the Vanquish.

[It's not an announcement that comes with any pride, or any sense of authority.]

It has had me thinking. I know different ships treat the titles differently, take them more seriously—or less. Most of the time it hasn't mattered to me all that much.

Not like there's any qualifications for it.

[The 'but' in her words is heavily implied in the pause that follows, the slow way she sighs through her nose.]

I've been wondering lately how people would like it to be. If you had a say in it—hypothetically unless you're my crew I suppose—how would you like captains to treat their job? And what would you say their job is.

[She leans back a little, visibly waiting for a response before the video cuts out.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[It's welcome; Natasha respects both the Vision's experience and his opinions, even if they're not always on the same page or coming from the same place.]

When you put it that way, it sounds like more of a privilege and less of a responsibility. How often would you say it came up?

Two disputes, many upgrades, three-quarters of the cargo bay and three transfers. Ah, and resupplies every time we entered a new system, as well as many miscellaneous duties. For example, Misty became upset that Castle's janitorial bots were programmed to exterminate space vermin, so I reprogrammed them to capture them and deposit them in an enclosure instead, which we then released into ecosystems that would not be overly negatively impacted by their presence.

Very specific. [And expected. Natasha does smile at it, though.] It sounds like you liked it.

[Which makes sense too. Some of what he mentions Natasha does do already—resupplying necessities—while other things haven't really been relevant. Vanquish hasn't been a full ship in a while, and most of its crew seem to find reasons to be elsewhere. Disputes weren't likely to fall in her lap.

As for transfers... Natasha shrugs.]

You miss it?

It gave me a purpose and a responsibility I had never considered, nor one anyone had thought to trust me with before. It was formative in many ways.

[So, that's a yes to both.]

I miss it. But, as with the Windrose itself, it is no more. That is the way of things in the Fleet.

It is. And we don't usually get what we lost back, do we. Still...

[Natasha has some sympathy for him.]

But there might be other opportunities. Always something new coming.

When we do, it is an unexpected but welcome surprise. I would never count on such a thing.

[He's learned to expect that, even if letting go is painful. Better to treasure the memories than not to have them at all, though.]

Yes, that is true. Though I don't think I'd leave Kitty's ship by choice, even if it meant a command of my own. Our unofficial motto is "We collect unusual people".

You have a motto? [Unofficial or otherwise. Natasha smiles slightly. That does seem right.] No, I wouldn't expect you to. And I wouldn't hope for Kitty to leave...

We can only play the cards as they come.

It is frustrating not to be able to reliably plan ahead.

Still, I found it an opportunity I was grateful to have. It was a reason to seek out and interact with strangers on my ship, which I've often been reluctant to do otherwise.

[Not that she doesn't know that. It's hard enough to get people on Earth to treat you normally without being an Avenger, much less looking like he does.]

[There is that. Though his appearance would be less striking in the Fleet than back home, it's still notable.

And Vision wouldn't have known that at first.

You're less reluctant now.

I'd like to think so, yes.

[Living on a ship with a blue person for a while makes him a lot less conscious about his appearance, anyway. Thanks, Nightcrawler.]

Though I think I will always be at least a bit shy of meeting new people.

Shy, hm? You know, I don't think shy is the word I'd have used.

[Reserved, maybe. Measured. Cautious. A different spin on the same core behavior, but ones that come from different places.

Maybe Natasha forgets sometimes to consider just what it means that Vision is so young.]

But always is a long time.

[He looks interested.] Oh? What would you have said? [Because goodness knows his own emotional vocabulary isn't as good as Natasha's.]

--That is true. I hardly know what tomorrow will hold, to say nothing of the future beyond that. Perhaps my nature will change, in that.

Something complimentary. Promise. [It's a gentle dodge, offered with a half smile. An elaboration follows.] When I think of shyness, it implies a certain mental state. A motivation for holding back.

I don't think I'd speculate about that.

[He snorts lightly.] I worry about acceptance from my peers, just as a human does. [Thanks, Dads. This one he's pretty sure he can pin directly on Bruce. Stupid social anxiety.] It is admittedly less difficult here, due to the diverse nature of Fleet residents, but it does still exist.

Some humans more than others.

[Yeah, that is definitely Bruce. Not that Tony doesn't have his own manifestations of social anxiety—he just seems to process them by being terminally extroverted.

So could be worse?]

Imagine it's not just the diversity. Most people here... if you didn't have to accept the unexpected before, the Fleet's a crash course.

Some more than others. [Definitely agreeing there. Tony cares just as much about acceptance, but his ego makes it difficult for him to admit he's wrong. Not quite the same kind of problem.]

Oh, that's certainly true. Especially if one is unfamiliar with the concept of other worlds and dimensions.

Which applies to most of us, I think. Even the ones who aren't unfamiliar sort of are.

[There's a difference between being aware of aliens or alternate timelines and running into them.]

But it's amazing what becomes common place.

Living in close quarters on a ship with persons from other worlds is one of them, I think. And complaining about the food?

Well. What else do we have to complain about?

[A lot. A whole lot.]

[So much. So much.]

The ill-defined role of a captain in the Fleet, I suppose.

What would you like it to mean, Natasha?

[Way to come full circle.]

Suppose I'm still figuring that out.