( how the dinosaurs died )

[dothelokimotion]

Who: Loki + You
Broadcast: Video
Action: Planetside
When: Right here, right now

[ the feed turns on, though it seems to start with a burst of static and a blurry screen before it finally seems to straighten itself out. though the scene you might be seeing seems a little . . . hard to take in. mostly because it looks like everything has been frozen. plants, grass and giant dinosaurs like T-Rexs that were in mid-lunge to bite on . . . a huddled lump who has a quilt over their head and cocooned deep within the covers. And also happens to be sneezing a lot. ]

This — [ loki sneezes, looking pale, harried and a little . . . blue. ] — Is the worst. Why is everything so — [ another loud sneeze. ] — uncomfortable?! And how do you make it stop?!

Comments

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki nods slowly at that, tilting his head into bucky's palm. ]

[sinistral]

[He’s still, palm curved carefully to Loki’s cheek, eyes on his. There’s something almost vulnerable about the moment, but it’s not as uncomfortable as he would have imagined.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki smiles faintly, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he pulls away. ]

We should head back.

[sinistral]

You're right of course.

[His hand drops and he takes a step back as well, giving Loki space once more. Still, it hadn't been uncomfortable to allow the other man so close, and that's something new.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki smirks. ]

Aren't I always?

[sinistral]

[Oh is that how they're going to play it?]

I can think of one time you were wrong.

[dothelokimotion]

[ he frowns. ]

When was this?

[sinistral]

When you called yourself a monster. I saw no monster then, and I see none now.

[dothelokimotion]

[ his expression softens at that. ]

When I was young, I used to be afraid of monsters. I would check under my bed or hide under my blankets.

[sinistral]

And now? [Carefully though, and he's watching Loki's expression.]

[dothelokimotion]

Now.

[ he tastes the trepidation on his tongue. ]

It is no longer that simple.

[sinistral]

I suppose it wouldn't be.

[He won't push. He won't. It's not his place, and he knows well that simple words don't erase the feelings.]

Is there anything I can do?

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki blinks, caught off guard by the offer. but he shouldn't be, should he? this man understands. has seem to grasp the ramblings of loki's soul, no matter how odd it seems. perhaps they are twin souls, despite their backgrounds.

maybe that's all anyone needs, in the end.

he moves to press a light kiss to bucky's forehead. ]

You've done it already.

[sinistral]

It's an open offer, not a one-time deal.

[His eyes close at the brush of lips, focused on the feeling. It's... nice.]

[dothelokimotion]

I know.

[ he pulls back slightly. ]

[sinistral]

Good.

[He shifts back when Loki does, just a little bit and more out of the force of habit of not touching people.]

Otherwise I'd have to offer to check for those monsters myself, I guess.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki smirks, his voice pitched low. ]

Well, you're invited to my bed.

[sinistral]

[The response — it's combination of words and tone — has him backing away another half step, unable to completely hide the unease at that statement. It's not the first time someone has flirted with him, but it's the first time that it hasn't felt like an innocent joke.]

I... can't be that. I'm sorry.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki is bemused and not at all bothered by that. ]

You don't have to be anything you don't want to be. Nor should you apologize for it.

[ he adds. ]

Perhaps that was a bit much.

[sinistral]

No, it's— It wasn't too much.

[Even though Loki says he doesn't have to apologize, it still feels like he should offer something in explanation. An attempt at the very least, however clumsy it may be.]

I'm just... not like that. Able to be physically with anyone. I don't know if I was once, but... [He tries to shrug, and just ends up looking away awkwardly instead.] I guess if I was, it's just something else they took away from me.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki cocks his head, stepping closer. ]

Whether you were once or not is hardly important. It's who you are now. And if it has been taken, then take it back. If it has been stolen, then reclaim it and discard it at your own desire.

Things have been taken from you. But they will have power over you forever if you forever see it as such.

[ loki fingers his fingers over the junction where flesh meets metal. ]

It is not about physicality or sexuality. Those are just societal constructs, ideas crafted in culture and rhythm. They are for men and mortals, lingering.

But we are ghosts now.

[sinistral]

It both is and isn't that simple, I think. I haven't decided what I should reclaim and what I shouldn't. I don't know yes who or what I want to be, but I do know things I don't want.

[But Loki already knows his feelings on the shades of grey.]

I suppose that some respond to our Fleet situation by pairing up, by seeking those relations they can't or won't pursue otherwise. Whether it's out of cowardice or loneliness or just a desire for sex, I don't know.

[His left hand raises and turns, to press Loki's hand flat against that section of his chest and shoulder, guiding the touch to where the ridge of the join can be felt through clothing. It's the first time he's allowed someone to touch him so.]

But I suppose that we are ghosts, and you are right. Those constructs need not apply to us.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki quietly runs his fingers down the groove, down and up before resting his forehead against bucky's shoulder. grief crescendos in him briefly; we are ghosts now. he said it out loud for the first time since his untimely demise and that makes it so real that the gorge in his throat bobs. ]

[sinistral]

[He doesn't know what's going on in Loki's head, doesn't know his thoughts. But the man's been strung out since the morning and he's starting to think it extends beyond simply finding himself in an unfamiliar skin. So when Loki leans close he allows it; after a moment, that metal arm curls around him. It's awkward, but he's trying.

His voice, when he finally speaks, is soft:] Hey... you okay?

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki exhales quietly. ]

I will be.

[ when everything's over. ]