Naviadna Mingle

[thespaceopera]

Who: Everyone
Broadcast: If you want!
Action: Anywhere on the fleet or in the system
When: The month of June



Welcome to Naviadna! Enjoy the beautiful sights, amazing technology, and all the other wonderful things this system has to offer! Where will you go? What sort of shenanigans will you get up to? How are you dealing with the planet's insistent singing at you?

Have fun!

(( System Info here ))

Comments

[stillgotmyleftarm]

The grip Steve's got him in is - well. It's tight, and firm, and yeah, Bucky can handle it, but he can also read what it says pretty clearly. He knows it was a shitty thing to say.

He still can't help but wonder if it's not true. Shakespeare said all that shit about loving and losing, yeah. But Bucky never wanted to hurt Steve, either. And he knows this will, because it hurts Bucky, hard and deep, in a way he knows he's going to carry around for the rest of his life.

His arms come up around Steve as best they can, trying to touch him, to rub his back, to be reassuring in a situation where reassurances mean pretty much nothing. "I wanna give you what you want, Steve. God knows you deserve it, and then some. I wish I could go with you." Give Steve the best friend he needs, because... Soldat could be a friend for Steve, over time. But he's not Bucky, and everyone's accepted that by now. And it's - fine, sure. Maybe better for Soldat. But Bucky isn't sure it's better for Steve. "But I don't want you hanging everything on this."

He moves to grip Steve's arms, pulling back a little so he can look Steve in the face. "I don't want you to not move on, because - like I said. You fuckin' deserve it be happy. And I don't want to stand in the way of that, when you get back." He doesn't want Steve to spend the rest of his life mourning this.

[brooklyn_boy]

Steve decides to shut Bucky up with a kiss. He's heard enough and just pulls back to press their lips together, hard. It's not loving and it's not lustful. It's desperate and grieved as he knows both of them are right in their own way. This is an impossible situation and both solution is both correct and incorrect at the same time. There's no winning this. Just surviving and moving forward.

Steve strokes his hand over Bucky's face all the same, thumb tracing along his hairline.

"I'd rather have this." He says it with finality, not expecting or welcoming debate. "I'd rather know that I had this. Forgetting...it just means you died. You died and all the things I never said died with you. But now?"

He pushes their foreheads together and closes his eyes. Steve's hand goes to Bucky's hip and holds onto it lightly. He barely breathes.

"Now you know I love you. I know you love me. No matter what else comes...there is value in that. I want it. It's mine and I want to keep it."

[stillgotmyleftarm]

It's impossible, but what is being Captain America, but making impossible decisions. Losing to win. Winning to lose. Isn't it all the same, after awhile?

Bucky kisses back just as desperately. Because honestly, of all the things Steve could have said... saying he wants to be selfish, that he wants to keep this, means more because Bucky knows just how selfless Steve is. And if this is the thing he wants to keep -

Bucky's fingers ball into fists in the fabric of Steve's shirt, and he chases that kiss with one, two, three of his own. "It's yours," he confirms - promises - softly. "Whatever I can give you, before you go - it's yours, Stevie."

God, this is almost worse than losing him off the side of that cliff. Swift and sudden was easier than staring down the end, knowing it's going to happen. Bucky feels like such a coward, but there it is. Is this how Steve's Peggy felt? Was she the one there, to talk to him until he hit the ice?

"Besides," Bucky adds, with a dumb smile almost hinging on ridiculous. "I hear I'm really fuckin' hard to kill."