☮ 002. ((audio))

[delincuente]

Who: Alex Russo and you
Broadcast: Most definitely fleet-wide!
Action: SS Paisley
When: Saturday night

[Just before midnight on Saturday, the network picks up what may or may not be a familiar sound - the click of a cassette tape 'PLAY' button, a couple seconds of bumpy white noise, and then -

This very fitting song, in its marvelous entirety.

Oh, the things you find in a novelty shop on a foreign star system. Alex is eternally grateful, even if the fleet at large isn't. And when has she not found joy in driving people mad?]

Comments

[delincuente]

That's dedication, man. You're such a hero.

[She holds one finger up, then downs another mouthful of vodka before passing it back over to Jason.]

Knock yourself out.

[asinisterkid]

I lived my whole life in preparation for the moment when that speech would finally be useful. I feel so fulfilled now.

[ He takes a swig, and offers the bottle back. ]

The thing I've noticed about this stuff is that around the third swig, it stops tasting quite so awful. Probably because it's already killed all your taste buds by that point.

[delincuente]

[She gladly takes it, tossing back another swig.]

No, yeah, I totally get that. Drink enough of anything and it'll taste like Grey Goose.

[asinisterkid]

Grey Goose?

[ Oh, look, it's Sudden Russian Accent time! Though rather than the comical fake-Russian most Americans might be familiar with, this is a dead-accurate Saint Petersburg accent, because Batman. ]

Grey Goose is overpriced French piss-water they sell to people who have no idea what real vodka should taste like. Now, Russians... Russians know vodka. Vodka is part of the Russian spirit. How can the French make vodka when they have no soul for anything stronger than grape juice?

[ And just like that, the accent vanishes. ]

And that's why you shouldn't spend too much time drinking with Russians. I heard that rant so many times it engraved itself on my brain.

[delincuente]

[Alex cracks up, almost losing her balance at the edge of the mattress. Maybe she drank that vodka a little fast.]

Dude. Don't ever let me meet a Russian then. I don't drink anything I have to pay more than twenty bucks for.