☮ 002. ((audio))

[delincuente]

Who: Alex Russo and you
Broadcast: Most definitely fleet-wide!
Action: SS Paisley
When: Saturday night

[Just before midnight on Saturday, the network picks up what may or may not be a familiar sound - the click of a cassette tape 'PLAY' button, a couple seconds of bumpy white noise, and then -

This very fitting song, in its marvelous entirety.

Oh, the things you find in a novelty shop on a foreign star system. Alex is eternally grateful, even if the fleet at large isn't. And when has she not found joy in driving people mad?]

Comments

[audio]

[geonomy]

[And of course as SOON AS IT STARTS:]

- get up, it's time to slam now! We've got a real jam going down, welcome to the space jam!

[action]

[asinisterkid]

[ And here comes Jason, poking his head in the door. ]

You found the Space Jam soundtrack. Out here.

First off, you're an evil genius. Second, what the hell.

Audio;

[justamobster]

Ugh, what is that noise?! S'that supposed to be music?

[ Cranky old man Ladon, reporting for duty. ]

action;

[invigorates]

[ she's listening so intently, trying to make sense of this absurd music. why is this happening. ]

...What is a Space Jam? [ ??? ]

[delincuente]

It's your chance, do your dance, at the space jam - alright alright!

[She bursts into her amused witchy laugh.]

[delincuente]

Same place I found the wind-up walking dick.

[She gives him a bright grin.]

[delincuente]

It's the 1990s, in cassette tape form.

[Behind the communicator, she's waving the case around like a trophy.]

Get yourself cultured, dude.

[delincuente]

It's when a bunch of people get together to party and play ball in space.

[Said as if she's giving a very scholarly address.]

Bill Murray is usually there.

[invigorates]

Like baseball? [ this is the only sport she knows thanks ray. ]

...Is Bill Murray someone important from your homeland?

[delincuente]

Yeah, kind of like baseball. Only you have to throw the ball through hoops that are really high up, so all the people who play it are freakishly tall, like Tay.

[Oh hey an actually accurate description.]

And yeah, Bill Murray is basically boss. He used to be in a lot of movies, but now he just goes around and crashes parties and gives people random advice.

[justamobster]

If this's what culture sounds like, no thanks.

[delincuente]

You must be from the Planet of No Fun.

[justamobster]

Planet of decent music, yeah? [ Says the guy who used to think jazz was awful. ]

[asinisterkid]

Please tell me it has googly eyes.

...Or is it too forward to be asking about your dick? I mean, you did bring it up.

Video

[onlyanapple]

You think you're funny, but you're really not.

[delincuente]

That's... [What's the word again?] - relative. It's a relative word. You just don't have the right sense of humor.

[delincuente]

You sound like my brother. I bet you like Burt Parks.

[delincuente]

Hey, I'm an open book. Ask all you want.

[She grabs the bunk's metal leg, and swings herself back into a sitting position.]

And I could totally give it some. Everyone likes a little pizzazz.

[onlyanapple]

If laughing at stupid 90's songs is the right sense of humour for me, then I don't want to be right.

[delincuente]

Alright then, you rebel. Stay grumpy.

[asinisterkid]

Well, then I guess I should return the courtesy. It would only be polite.

[ He grins and shrugs. Congratulations, Alex. You now have question-asking privileges. Whether those privileges extend to his dick -- or beyond his dick -- is left deliberately vague. ]

And I think googly eyes would give it that extra spark of personality a wind-up walking dick needs. But that's just me.

[openhands]

Ugh, what is that noise?

[justamobster]

Got no idea who that is. The Parks fella, I mean.

[delincuente]

Really boring smooth jazz musician.

[delincuente]

It's a "space jam". Sacred song of my people.