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Who: Zhas & You!!
Broadcast: None (probably)
Action: Planetside OR Red Fish
When: Forward dated to the 31st, late at night

► PLANET-SIDE

[back home, Zhas had a long-standing tradition of not working on Halloween. he gets totally into it. he puts on his best "normal person" costume and goes out and parties and drinks and talks to the locals like he actually belongs there. it's the one day a year he doesn't obsessively hunt down monsters or worry about his slowly-decaying family.

he may be lightyears away from home, on a planet with no vampires or any proper Halloween festivities, but like hell he's going to let that get in the way of his traditional day off. he can be found hanging around town, dressed in a nondescript black shirt, not covered in weapons, and not wearing any facepaint. he might be kind of hard to recognize--though his eyes are still glowing an unsettling, jack-o-lantern orange under the dim, clouded night sky.

oh, and there's blood on his face. his nose was bleeding, or something. he apparently hasn't noticed. actually, to be completely honest, he's kind of having trouble noticing that he's going to run into things until he nearly stumbles over them. once or twice he has to like, hold his hands out to navigate around a lamp-post. dude's pretty drunk.]

► RED FISH

[...unless you're on the Red Fish. he's cleaned up his face, but he's sort of tipsily putting ingredients together in the kitchen and messing around with the microwave? seriously, he accidentally brushed flour off on his shirt, like, what is he even doing. this is probably how fires start.]

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[even drunk, he feels a rising sense of regret...

but he scoots his not-quite-empty glass towards her and nods.]

[You know, she'll swap him, since hers is mostly full. And she SLAMS her hand on the counter.]

Bartender! More!

[BACK TO ZHAS...]

Titans are... titans are the most fascinating creatures I could ever possibly imagine or describe! Once you see their cute, peaceful smiles, you'll be in love forever! They range from about a three-meter class to the largest one we've seen, which is about sixty-meter class! They devour humans relentlessly! Hahaha! If a human isn't killed by the crushing jaws, they'll be boiled to death in the stomach! They're very hot, you see! So incredible! Titans will relentlessly devour humans until their stomachs are full and then vomit up the remains! So, you see, they don't eat humans because they're hungry! Also titans will regenerate when you strike them! However, it's still helpful to go for vital points like... certain arm muscles... the eyes... the kill point is the nape! Slice out the nape, and a titan will die! And then when they die they immediately seem to dissolve! You haven't seen something incredible until you've seen the death of a titan! All that killing flesh just melts away into thin air! Incredible! And if you kick their head across the room, you'll find it bounces very far, much further then it should! If you slice off its arm, you'll find that the arm is very light! Truly titans are incredible!

[She's talking VERY LOUDLY btw]

[................claps a hand on her shoulder.]

You need to calm down.

What? [She lists towards him a little. There, that's showing it.] No I don't! How can I possibly calm down... when there are titans... out there... in the world... to tell you about?

Would you like... to hear more?

...Come on.

[he picks up her wrist, stands up, and starts to drag her out of the bar.]

Oop! [She flounders her feet under her, tipping her glass as she goes... and then reaches for his collar and follows him out tamely. This is fine, as long as she can keep talking to him about TITANS.]

Okay. So. Whenever I get a live specimen - my last ones were Sonny and Bean, they were so cute, I wish I could show you pictures - but tragically they were killed by a sneaky saboteur! Anyway, whenever I get live samples... of course the first thing is to try and talk to them! If we could establish contact that would mean so much. But they never talk to me... so what do you think? Could a human establish contact with a titan? What do you think?

[he just... lets her hang on and take the glass with her, only half-listening to anything she's saying. he pulls her out the door, manages to not trip down the one threshold step, and brings her around the side where he can stand her up against a wall and let her talk loudly about titans where no one is going to hear her.

...which is about the time he tunes in and realizes she's trying to ask him a question.]

...Huh?

[Oh, could he not hear her? She gets even more in his face.]

What do you think! Guess! Could a human communicate with a titan? Yes or no!

[god it's like he doesn't even register physical space or anything. he doesn't even flinch when she gets closer...]

... Yes?

[to her credit, he's so confused by what's going on that he's actually started to slip some tone into what he's saying. that sounded like he is legitimately unsure.]

[She drops her glass to the ground. It breaks with a melodic tinkle, the kind of sound they'd use to characterize stars in a children's show. This is so she can slap him open-palmed and hard against his chest. Somehow this is a congratulatory gesture.

And she leers.]

Correct. You are one hundred percent correct.

[he looks down, belatedly, just to get slapped in the chest. this is not the first time he's flinched tonight and it probably won't be the last.]

...Okay.

[okay, Hange. sure. whatever you say.]

Let me tell you about Ilse Langer. [Does this sound apropos of nothing? It's not.] Ilse was a brave and courageous young soldier, but she was trapped outside the walls alone when her squad was killed, her horse ran, and her gear broke. She decided she'd run back to the walls! Can you imagine? It's impossible for a regular human alone to run through titan-infested territory back to safety! But she decided to do it anyway! She carried a notebook with her and she wrote down everything as she ran. Can you imagine? She must have known... she must have known from the start she was doomed, but she tried anyway.

Edited 2014-11-11 21:06 (UTC)

[okay, sure... chick named Langer. stuck with people-eating monsters. mysteriously not dead. journal? whatever. he slowly nods to show he's at least... listening.]

She ran and ran through the forest on foot! And she was lucky for a while, of course a titan found her. But instead of eating her right away... it bowed to her... and it spoke to her and addressed her by another name... but as she tried to question it, it changed... and it stuffed her in its mouth and devoured her whole.

Hn. [well, that's not where he expected that story to go.]

And we only know about Ilse now because of that journal she left behind... that journal she wrote while running...

[She stares at him. Suddenly tears are welling up in her eyes.]

Can you imagine the terror she must have felt? Can you imagine how desperate she must have been? But in the end she made her death worth something to humanity...

[oooooooookay he's just going to stand here and stare at her because what else can he do?]

[Yeah she's just gonna keep rolling here]

Poor Ilse...! She's my idol! We should all aspire to make our deaths so useful to humanity!

[see, if this were his "mother", he'd know exactly what to do.

but this is Hange, and she's really drunk, and he's really drunk, and he doesn't like her that much, and... jesus... fucking... why is she crying all over the place about this, he doesn't understand. why is she crying. why are girls so weird.

probably out of some measure of desperation to make this stop, he reaches forward, grabs her chin, and... starts gingerly mopping up her face with his sleeve...]

Uhuuhuu...

[She slouches towards him... and just lets it happen...]

Thanks, Moblit... I mean Zhas.

[well, that's a familiar pang of disappointment. it's not from her, from somewhere else. reminds him of... things he shouldn't be thinking about right now.

he will also maybe just... swoop down and try to pick her up. over the shoulder, come on.]

[She is 132 pounds heavy, at least according to Isayama stats (lol anime weights lol)... but probably nothing to him, right?]

Umf. [Still letting it happen. In a muffled voice:] Before you go lugging me anywhere, I'm gonna need to piss.

[he's used to carrying lighter. but he'll manage.

or at least, he will after he grunts and puts her back down.]

Edited 2014-11-12 23:17 (UTC)

Turn your back, champ. [She's already undoing her pants as she says this. Hurry, Zhas.]

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