three ☀ video / optional action

[deshabille]

Who: Mal
Broadcast: Fleetwide!
Action: On the Caprine if anyone desires it! I'm flexible.
When: 6/20.

[As in her first broadcast, Mal can be found tinkering around in the engine room, elbows-deep in something interesting and greasy. This time, though, she seems pensive, deep in thought, perhaps about Deep Subjects and Philosophies.]

[She is, in fact, thinking about something entirely different.]

[When she speaks, it's in tones of airy contemplation, meant to disguise the fact that part of her thinks this is a terrible idea.]

Here is an interesting thing: vampires, for all their reputation for seduction, really aren't that good at it, at least where I come from. When you're always hungry, you mostly rely on people leaving windows open at the right time and then being a bit woozy from blood loss. For the really old ones, the ones who can barely stand without crumbling to dust and really hate sunshine, that's the only way they can eat, and if they tried to seduce anyone their arm would probably fall off.

[She twists at a mysterious innard of the ship with a wrench, tongue in her cheek.]

We've had enough excitement for a while, I think, so why not something boring instead: tell me about romance in your world. Describe the sorts of flowers you like to kill for love. Rate yourself on a scale of one to ten, complete dunce to Casanunda, if you like.

Actually, everyone should have to do that. That's compulsory. I will genteelly admit that I am a nine. [Liar.]

Comments

video;

[serpentis]

On a scale of one to ten, I'm a twenty, naturally. I enjoy giving orchids, particularly orange and red ones, though others are acceptable.

[He's practically preening.]

Voice

[wolfuncaged]

[Is he joking. He's probably joking. ]

And to whom might you be giving these orchids?

Voice

[serpentis]

Oh? I didn't know you wanted to be swept off your bare feet with my charms. Perhaps I ought to put a bit more effort into that.

[Don't try him, Fenris.]

Voice

[wolfuncaged]

[Oh no. This was probably a mistake. ]

I am fairly certain that you cannot sweep me, Dorian. You will put your back out. The point still stands, though, where do all these flowers of yours go?

[Stop while you're ahead Fenris. Stop. ]

Voice

[serpentis]

I'm not certain if that was a mage joke, and if I ought to be offended or not.

[And then he chuckles, it's that I'm An Evil Magister For Real chuckle that doesn't fool anyone.]

And that sounds like a challenge. I accept.

Voice

[wolfuncaged]

You can be choose to be offended if you wish.

[It as totally a mage joke. ...And oh no. No shit no, not the laugh. Nothing good came from that laugh. ]

...You know I don't like it when you do the laugh. And what challenge?

[Don't bait Dorian, why hasn't he learned this lesson yet? DON'T BAIT DORIAN.]

Voice

[serpentis]

The one to find a place for all of the flowers for you. Ah, it's a shame we've left behind civilization. But I promise you, the first chance I get, you'll have the flowers you want so desperately, amatus.

[Really, Fenris, you dug your own grave here.]

Voice

[wolfuncaged]

[Oh Maker, no. Why this. ]

I really don't need any flowers, Dorian. You don't have to trouble yourself.

[Yeah, he's going to spend the next planet covered in flowers, isn't he. ]

Voice

[serpentis]

[Fenris really brought this on himself.]

Oh no, it's not any trouble. I ought to give you a gesture to show you how much I adore you. Really, not a problem at all! I'll get you a nice bouquet, something to remind you of me until the flowers wilt and die. How very romantic! A temporary gesture, a reminder that everything must die.

What colors do you like, or shall I pick? Do you like blood red roses? Or black flowers, perhaps? I don't suspect you'd care for light purple flowers, would you?

Voice

[wolfuncaged]

[What the actual fuck, Dorian? ]

No. It...is-

How is that even remotely romantic?

[He's still new to this, but he's fairly certain "EVERYTHING DIES!!" won't be found on a valentines day card. ]

None. I want no flowers. Don't you dare do it.

Voice

[serpentis]

[Is that static? It sounds like static.]

I'm sorry- Fenris? Are you there? I can barely hear you. There must be some sort of interference! Something to do with that blighted bug ship, I'm sure.

Voice

[wolfuncaged]

[...]

Dorian, stop making noises. There isn't any interference.

Voice

[serpentis]

Oh, Maker! No!

[KSSSSHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHSSSSHHHHHHH]

Worry not, amatus! I will speak with you again soon.

[SSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHKHHHHHHHHHH]

And I'll be certain you get your flowers!

Voice

[wolfuncaged]

...

I really hate you sometimes.

[These are lies. ]

[deshabille]

Is there a particular reason for orange and red orchids, or is that secret knowledge that only twenties may know about?

[serpentis]

Nothing particularly exciting, I'm afraid. Though, perhaps, give me a moment.

[He brings his hand to his chin.]

Ah, yes. The reds and oranges remind me of the fires of passion that kindle in my heart when I think about him.

There, that's much better.

[deshabille]

You made up the line to fit the color of flowers you happened to find, didn't you.

[serpentis]

Actually, I just made it up right now! Though, I do thank you for thinking I'm so clever.

I simply like orange and red orchids. In Tevinter, they grow them in hothouses, and we have large indoor gardens.

[And he waves a hand]

Quite different from being here in space, mind you.

[deshabille]

Yes, it's very . . . sterile, isn't it.

[That's the one thing she really doesn't like. Besides being kidnapped.]

Where I come from, it's mostly mountain flowers. Edelweiss and so on.

[serpentis]

What does Edelweiss look like? Now I'm vaguely curious.

[deshabille]

It's small and white and spiky, with yellow in the middle. We also have little blue round ones with yellow in the middle.

[A florist she is not.]

[serpentis]

Curious! Perhaps I'll see them one day, though I'll admit I'm in the market for large flowers. The more cumbersome and cloying, the better.

[deshabille]

The better to beat someone to death with, possibly?

[serpentis]

Oh, no, I merely aim to inconvenience and annoy.

[And he laughs to himself. Fenris is in so much trouble.]

Which is to say, if any viewers or sponsors are watching this, please do send flowers! As many as you possibly can!

[deshabille]

Oh, that's a good idea.

[She hadn't considered that.]

And to me, too. Although they don't have to be as big as all that, I still have to be able to walk around.