Maladicta von Borogravia (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
deshabille) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
driftfleet2015-06-20 01:02 pm
deshabille) wrote in driftfleet2015-06-20 01:02 pm
Entry tags:
three ☀ video / optional action
Who: Mal
Broadcast: Fleetwide!
Action: On the Caprine if anyone desires it! I'm flexible.
When: 6/20.
[As in her first broadcast, Mal can be found tinkering around in the engine room, elbows-deep in something interesting and greasy. This time, though, she seems pensive, deep in thought, perhaps about Deep Subjects and Philosophies.]
[She is, in fact, thinking about something entirely different.]
[When she speaks, it's in tones of airy contemplation, meant to disguise the fact that part of her thinks this is a terrible idea.]
Here is an interesting thing: vampires, for all their reputation for seduction, really aren't that good at it, at least where I come from. When you're always hungry, you mostly rely on people leaving windows open at the right time and then being a bit woozy from blood loss. For the really old ones, the ones who can barely stand without crumbling to dust and really hate sunshine, that's the only way they can eat, and if they tried to seduce anyone their arm would probably fall off.
[She twists at a mysterious innard of the ship with a wrench, tongue in her cheek.]
We've had enough excitement for a while, I think, so why not something boring instead: tell me about romance in your world. Describe the sorts of flowers you like to kill for love. Rate yourself on a scale of one to ten, complete dunce to Casanunda, if you like.
Actually, everyone should have to do that. That's compulsory. I will genteelly admit that I am a nine. [Liar.]
Broadcast: Fleetwide!
Action: On the Caprine if anyone desires it! I'm flexible.
When: 6/20.
[As in her first broadcast, Mal can be found tinkering around in the engine room, elbows-deep in something interesting and greasy. This time, though, she seems pensive, deep in thought, perhaps about Deep Subjects and Philosophies.]
[She is, in fact, thinking about something entirely different.]
[When she speaks, it's in tones of airy contemplation, meant to disguise the fact that part of her thinks this is a terrible idea.]
Here is an interesting thing: vampires, for all their reputation for seduction, really aren't that good at it, at least where I come from. When you're always hungry, you mostly rely on people leaving windows open at the right time and then being a bit woozy from blood loss. For the really old ones, the ones who can barely stand without crumbling to dust and really hate sunshine, that's the only way they can eat, and if they tried to seduce anyone their arm would probably fall off.
[She twists at a mysterious innard of the ship with a wrench, tongue in her cheek.]
We've had enough excitement for a while, I think, so why not something boring instead: tell me about romance in your world. Describe the sorts of flowers you like to kill for love. Rate yourself on a scale of one to ten, complete dunce to Casanunda, if you like.
Actually, everyone should have to do that. That's compulsory. I will genteelly admit that I am a nine. [Liar.]
no subject
[That's delivered as melodramatically as it sounds, yes, one elbow draped over his eyes as he leans the chair back as far as it will go. He finds himself hilarious, thanks very much.
He rocks back towards the camera with a creak of plastic, expression open and amused, but the smile has dimmed somewhat, the closest to "getting serious" that he ever comes with strangers.]
Look, you aren't going to get anything better from us than you would from the storybook, anyhow. These sorts of things never happen the way they're meant to. You could follow every piece of advice from every Casanunda, or whatever, on this ship down to the letter, and it still probably wouldn't happen how you expect.
[Good or bad. It's not nearly as cynical a sentiment as it might have been six months ago. He shrugs, and earns a smidge of his flippant quota back with:]
You'll at least get better naughty bits from the books.
no subject
[Therefore she takes his seriousness with gratitude, although admittedly also a grain of salt, and responds,]
There are too many people here to ignore the value of their experience. People are fascinating in what they know and what they don't, which is why I ask.
I don't want things to go as I expect. I just want to have somewhere to start.
[She smirks.]
And I think I can handle the naughty bits myself, thank you very much.
no subject
You could start there, if you really wanted to. I'm just saying.
[This may or may not be actual advice. What, it worked for him, several months of friends-with-benefits later. Completely by accident, and in fact against the intentions he started out with, but that circles back to what he's said already.]
Or talking, you could start there too, I suppose. [beat] Tell me you've gotten past "hello."
no subject
[There was a kiss! It just ended in a punch, and things were slightly awkward from there. Not tongue-tied, though. Mal is practically never tongue-tied.]
no subject
[Hello, pot, this is kettle. How is that new coat of black paint treating you? "Hello" is pretty much where his process for how all this works drops off into the void.]
You're trying to charm them, yes? Gestures can be— nice ["romantic" is probably the word he was going for, but he's not quite yet to the point where he can say that with a straight face and not feel the urge to throw up a little bit] when they're done right. Not the "shower in rose petals" way, that is.
no subject
That was what I was going for, yes. Of course, I could just skip subtlety altogether and throw an entire rosebush at the problem.
[Look, sometimes she just doesn't have time for little gestures.]
no subject
[He belongs on every kind of shitlist there ever was.]
But like you said, the lack of rosebushes in our collection of tin cans poses a bit of an issue. Maybe something smaller. Like, I don't know. [He really doesn't. He tugs idly at the end of his ponytail.] Anything too standard is more in the vein of seduction, isn't it. Flowers, jewelry, ever taller glasses of liquor. Also, boring when there's not seduction involved.
[He has a nebulously forming idea of what he would want and he would do, but that's not something he's inclined to share. One, because the nature of his relationship is still something he prefers to keep on the down low, and two, because he has no idea if what he thinks is any good or not.]
I can't be the one to tell you what it should be, I'm not trying to charm them. Presumably. You might have to just [a vague hand gesture] fumble through it. [He doesn't mean to mirror the language, not consciously, anyway. But it's always been the most appropriate word for what he and Hawke are doing.] See what they like, what they don't like, demonstrate active listening every now and then. Some kind of nonsense like that.
no subject
Active listening sounds terribly boring as well.
[It also sounds like something Cassandra would like. So maybe she'll just have to get used to it.]
no subject
I said you had to demonstrate it, not that you had to actually listen. Just nod and smile. Say something like "You're joking," every few minutes or so, you'll be fine.
[He learned how to convincingly fake listening young, another talent the Circle inadvertently teaches its charges through droning enchanters and stone-faced templars. He considers leaving the truly terrible advice there, but after a brief moment of consideration:]
Though. [A small sigh, like he's exasperated with himself for actually saying this.] If it really is that much of a chore, you may want to consider charming someone else. I'm just saying.
[But then, Anders is a talker. He lives for every ridiculous story and bad joke, either telling or listening. He can do companionable silence in the company of the right people, but he probably wouldn't choose it, if given the option.]
no subject
[Not that she's going to say any of that out loud, for both of their sakes.]
Well, you're just full of good advice today. I suppose I'll have to take it all.
[Or. Some of it.]
no subject
[By which he means, of course, his new and emotionally fulfilling relationship, which hasn't been nearly as dreadful or disastrous as he expected. But he's not about to say any of that either, for similar reasons.]
Oh, and: you're welcome, by the by.