driftfleet | ☮ 004. ((audio))

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☮ 004. ((audio))

Who: Alex Russo and YOU
Broadcast: All over the place yo
Action: The bridge of the SS Paisley
When: 7/4

[It's Alex's first broadcast that doesn't have the Space Jam soundtrack in the background, what a surprise. People are going to start thinking she isn't annoying or something.]

Hey, so today's a totally big holiday back on Earth - the Fourth of July, aka Independence Day, aka every American's birthday. It's when we celebrate the anniversary of Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum saving us from the alien invaders back in 1996. We eat phallic meat-byproduct foods and shoot off explosive to represent the crazy alien sky battles we witnessed on that fateful day.

Let's have a moment of silence for our fallen heroes.

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All the most beautiful things are.

Except alcohol!

...I'm fairly certain that's safe.

Just empty calories, and love.

So that's what that weird warm feeling is when I drink it, thanks for clearing that up.

I mean, I don't know if demons can get warm fuzzies, so probs.

I'm going to go with: absolutely not.

[They so can. Or rather, Crowley can. ]

Do you even have a heart?

Of course I do. It just doesn't beat unless I remember to make it do so.

So you don't, like, regularly have blood pumping or anything. You're like a corpse.

Excuse you, that's rude. And I can pump blood when I want to.

Oop - and see? I've learned. This time, I'm not even going to ask.

Clever girl. You are learning.

Hey, I learn things sometimes. I just prefer not to do it in a classroom. I'm a street smarts girl.

Not a thing wrong with that, in my opinion. Classroom smarts are far too overrated.

Finally, an old person who gets what I'm about.

Do you want to rephrase that comment?

Okay, okay, fine - an ancient, wise, all-powerful person.

[Filled with a healthy bit of sarcasm.]

I'll take that, dripping with sarcasm as it is.

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