002 - Hardware Store

[preformthisneigh]

Who: Cheese Sandwich and You!
Broadcast: Fleetwide - video
Action: Bishop
When: Right now.

[Cheese has been here for three months now, and it's clear Atroma aren't about to get rid of him, so he has an important mission to carry out. He turns on the video feed at stares down at the camera, his face is serious. This is serious business. ]

Okay, everypony. I have a super duper absolutely utterly important question to ask all of you. I really, really need an answer from everypony. It's that important.

[He leans a little closer in, to show how REALLY IMPORTANT it is. ]

I need to you tell me when your birthdays are. I also accept dates of anniversaries or likewise important dates to you.

[He picks up a pencil from off camera, and sits poised, ready to write into a little notebook. His words are a little muffled when he speaks again on account of the pencil in his mouth. Earth pony problems.]

OKAY GO!

Comments

[preformthisneigh]

No, they're not. I saw them in the horse prisons in Paradisa. [There isn't a word for 'stables' in Equestria, and even if Cheese knows that's the name, they will always be prisons to him. ] They just stared blanky and you'd go up to one and say:

Howdy friend! I see you're in prison. Do you want me to liberate you?!

And then they'd just [he makes a whinny] and that'd be that. It's like they've had some kind of horrible accident that means they can't speak or think or anything. It's awful.

[He shudders a little, before tilting his head to one side. ]

Are you sure? Because I met a couple humans in Paradisa who were vegetarians. They didn't seem all that sick.

[HOW DO HUMANS EVEN WORK, HE DOESN'T KNOW. ]

[thezerothlaw]

It has been my experience that most who keep domestic animals, horses or otherwise, strive to keep them well. I fear there may be exceptions.

[There are, of course, even if he has a lot of faith in humans, generally.]

There are those who are vegetarian, by choice or necessity, but it requires careful meal planning to ensure all necessary nutrients are consumed from other sources. Indeed, in some societies I know of, real meat is a luxury, and it is usually replaced by a synthetic substance meant to imitate the taste, texture, and nutrient content of meat. Without those nutrients, humans will suffer malnutrition. Surely there are creatures in your world, sapient or animal, who must eat meat to survive? It is similar.

[preformthisneigh]

Most of the humans I met in Paradisa were really good to their weird zombie horses.

[He kind of zones out for a little, there. That's a lot of words. He shakes his head clear when he realises he's being asked a question. ]

Uh. Yeah. We have predators? Like...dragons and chimeras and stuff? Tigers and lions, too, if you want something more regular. We tend to keep away from them on account of the fact they want to eat us.

[thezerothlaw]

[Daneel is good at too many words. Sorry.]

Understandable. And I certainly wish that no one here feels that you would be appropriate to eat us. If anyone does give you trouble, please let me know.

[preformthisneigh]

Heh, I'll bear that in mind. Thanks, amigo.