video ♪ the viewers really want the D(warf)

[merchantprince]

Who: Varric and open
Broadcast: Video, and open!
Action: The Marsiva.
When: Thursday afternoon

[video;]

[The feed opens with a glorious shot of a gold-embroidered scarlet tunic-- a nice, slow pan across the gently furred planes of a man's chest, the brassy necklace resting across his collarbone, the dip of his throat--

-- and then he punches the camera upward.]

Ha ha, all right, you've had your fill. Stubborn metal piece of shit. [Varric looks none-too-amused.] Just tell me who took all my wine and maybe, maybe I won't tear the walls down.

[He leans back and rubs at his face. While he's usually pretty sharp and charismatic, right now there's a glimpse of how tired he is.]

Something tells me I'm gonna need it after you all tell me what happened while I was--

[A pause. He glances offscreen, takes in the sight of the stars and the hospitality deck of the Marsiva. Kidnapped three times? Really? What the hell is his life?]

-- somewhere else.

Comments

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[serpentis]

Oh, good, you're finally back. Come to serialize more of our tawdry affairs, my friend?

[There's a lot to dissect there, but Dorian seems genuine enough.]

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[merchantprince]

[Varric's manner brightens considerably when he sees a familiar face.]

Sparkler! You're a sight for sore eyes. Still wagging your impeccably-curled mustache at people, I see.

[dawnwillcome]

You're starting to make a habit of this whole kidnapping business.

[Translation don't you ever do that again you big dumb idiot.]

Are we to pay for that show? You should certainly be charging admission.

[merchantprince]

[He's embarrassed, but he's not going to show it.] I'm thinking about starting a new business venture. It's a... service aimed to give rich couples a bit of excitement in their lives.

[He pops the collar of his duster.]

You're right, I need to get a head start on rebuilding my credits. Easiest way is to bait the audience, you know-- and then give VIP members a discount that won't break the bank.

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[save_the_souls]

[Allen never really spoke to this guy, but he remembered him. He was the man with the stories. He had listened a few times idly. But that's not why he's commenting. Rather, the whole bit about Varric remembering that catches him by surprise]

You remember being here before?

[merchantprince]

[He's definitely the man with the stories.]

Yeah, I do. [He rubs at his chin-scruff.] I'm not sure I've heard of that happening before. I sure as hell don't remember being anywhere else aside from, you know, home. Which I am still mad about.

And they still haven't let me see Bianca. I can understand keeping two lovers apart for the drama, but it's getting kinda old.

[save_the_souls]

I haven't heard of many people coming back at all here. And the last place I was, if someone did return, it was rare that they'd remember their last stay...

[So uh, yeah. this is unusual. You can tell on his face he's trying to mull over the possibilities.]

[And yeah, like any sane human being he's assuming Bianca is a woman]

Oh, I'm sorry...I'd imagine it would be difficult being worlds apart from the person you love.

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[wolfuncaged]

[Alert the Chantry, Fenris is smiling For Realises. Can't misplace that chesthair anywhere. He's missed you so much, you irritating fucking dwarf.]

Things you will be remiss you weren't around to see, to write about first-hand. There were insect monsters.

[HE KILLED LOADS OF THEM, BE PROUD DWARFDAD :D ]

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[hearsthesea]

[!!!

Shirley has to take a moment to make sure she's not dreaming here. And then a second moment, just to be sure.]

Varric? You're...you're back!

[openhands]

[Given the way he greeted her the last time, she's not sure she should say anything. But it would seem wrong to not say anything.]

Welcome back, Varric.

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[ino]

Oh hey, you're back!

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[serpentis]

What would I be doing if not that? Do you recall this place? Or...?

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[pirasea]

Anything you left behind was hardly worth getting excited about.

Really, I did you a favour.

[merchantprince]

[His expression brightens. His grin very near splits his face in half.]

Rivaini! Shit, did you at least hoard some more?

[merchantprince]

Hey, Violet. Did you miss me?

[merchantprince]

[He glances away, feigning disinterest.]

Oh. You're still here?

[pirasea]

Hoard some? Me? Surely you know me better than to think I'd let perfectly good booze lie around when I could be drinking it.

[She's offended. Terribly. Ignore the grin, she's really upset at the suggestion.

(She may actually have some somewhere.)]

[openhands]

[Flatly:] Yes. Is that going to be a problem?

[ino]

Maybe a little bit.

[ And he remembers. Wow, today is awesome. ]

Couldn't tell you who got into your stuff, though.

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[merchantprince]

If you weren't waggling your mustache, you'd probably be... well... [He coughs.] Riding one?

[He nods, then.] Yeah, I do. Not sure why or how. It doesn't feel like it's been a while but I guess it has.

[A pause, and he gets serious for a moment.]

I'm, uh... sorry for disappearing on you.

[merchantprince]

I'm usually more subtle about breaking the mold. Trendsetting isn't my thing.

[He shakes his head and schools his expression into one of regret.

Star-crossed lovers are as old as time. [A wistful sigh.] I can only hope that whatever profit they're making off this goes straight into my bank account.

[merchantprince]

[Oh no, a Fenris smile. It's enough to make Varric hesitate for a second, because he's not sure if Fenris is happy or drugged out of his fucking mind. But no, he seems to be fine.

Thank the Maker.]

Oh, please. Giant spiders that could rip off a man's head? Been there, done that. You were there.

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[merchantprince]

[He leans in.]

Roses! Yeah, I'm back. I'm on the big ugly ship for a while, though.

How are you holding up?

[merchantprince]

[He inspects his nails.]

Not unless you make it one. I don't see why you would-- [his tone darkens] -- after all, you got what you wanted.

[merchantprince]

Only a little? I'm offended!

[EVERYTHING IS AWESOME WHEN CHEST HAIR IS AROUND]

Last time I saw it, it was on the Huntress-- which I can't get to. Yet. I'll have to recover what's left after they do the whole zappy thing and shove me somewhere.

Or I could just start over. Lime-flavored vodka really isn't that great.