driftfleet | text; get this child out of his comfort zone

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text; get this child out of his comfort zone

Who: Kazuto Kirigaya and [insert your name here]
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Marsiva
When: Today / Sept 4

[Waking up in unfamiliar surroundings is not new for Kazuto, but in the past it's been quite a different experience. It's not an MMO this time, which is what catches him off guard the most. He can tell immediately, even with a simple glance around- the world is too real, too detailed. (Just in case, he tests a few menu-summoning gestures, but no dice.)

Waking up in a hospital-eque area makes him think that something went wrong with his last MMO dive, but that isn't right. He clearly remembers being safe and healthy the night before- they'd checked him out at the hospital before he'd gone to Sinon's. So... what? A kidnapping? Some kind of experiment? Something about this place doesn't feel right, and there's information slowly filtering into his head that doesn't make much sense.

And then he goes and looks out a window. Yikes.

He spends some time wandering, quietly observing, though there isn't really anyone to observe- computers, broadcasts, machines, yes, but people? The place is pretty deserted. It's eerie and uncomfortable, and he gets totally lost before long. Finally, though, he puts to use the knowledge of the broadcast system that is inexplicably in his head now, typing out a message.]

Is anyone out there available to answer some questions? I don't understand what's happened to me.

[Yep, that sure is a message. Which... is probably gibberish to anyone who doesn't read Japanese. Someone should probably let him know about the auto-translate not working on text.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I hope not! I... I'm not ready to pay the price for space lessons! [He frets as he ponders his idea.]

Um, let's do a pop quiz to make sure we still know all the important things! What's your favorite color? And which Crying Breakfast Food character do you relate to the most?

[He likes black- wait that doesn't count as a colour, does it. Damn.]

I like blue. And sorry, I've never heard of crying breakfast food. Er, tell me about it?

[That's your quiz question, kiddo.]

Aw, that's okay. [Steven rubs his chin as he frowns.] I just hope you didn't know it and forget it. That would be really sad!

It's a cartoon about a bunch of really cool characters like Sad Apple, Crying Pear, Sad Waffle and Weeping Egg Cup. They go through a lot of adventures together and lots and lots of tears! ...It might sound like a silly cartoon, but if you give it a chance, you'll love it!

No, um. Pretty sure I've just never heard of it before.

[That's pretty depressing for a kid's show. What in the world?]

Why are they all so unhappy?

Oh man, there's plenty of reasons. Sometimes they dropped ice cream on the floor, or they cry about Spilled Milk... but they have good cries too sometimes! Like when Sad Spoon forgives Crying Pear, they cry about for a real long time!

[Has anyone ever in history literally cried over spilled milk?]

O...kay. So who's your favourite, then? You remember?

I remember. I remember everything!!

I remember... that it's too hard to pick a favorite! It's like picking from your own children, you know?

But an online quiz once told me that I'm the most like Sniffling Croissant!

[This is probably the strangest conversation he's had in a very long time.]

Well... good that you remember it, then.

Where are you from?

[He smiles proudly at his memory.]

I'm from the planet Earth! In Beach City! How about you?

Saitama Prefecture, in Japan.

[He's still basically pre-programmed to avoid giving too much info away, but Saitama's big enough that it wouldn't matter. Plus, little kid. Pretty harmless.]

Ooh! You live in Japan? That's so great! What's it like there? Do you watch a lot of anime?!

[Haaaah... anime. The thing people always ask about.]

Not... really. I mostly play video games. I like it there, though. It's a big city, so it's pretty convenient.

Awww, well video games are a lot of fun too! I got the secret ending of Golf Quest Mini once.

It sounds like Japan's really nice! I bet it's a lot bigger than Beach City... What are some of your favorite hobbies?

[Video games, video games, video games, more video games...]

Ah... well, gaming aside, I build computers, and I've been delving into program code a lot lately. Actually, just recently I created an app that channels the AI from a game I used to play so I can communicate her IRL.

[Aren't you glad you asked, kiddo?]

[That sounds exciting.]

Wow, really?! Does that mean... like making a robot friend? That's so awesome!

I guess it's kind of like that. A robot with a mind of her own.

[It would be cool if they could give Yui a synthetic body someday...]

Sweet! It's like bringing more life into this world. That's really nice of you, Kirito!

I made some life once, but it sure didn't turn out perfectly.

[To be fair, he didn't create her, but that story's complicated so there's no point in explaining.

Also, SAY AGAIN.]

You... did? What?

Well, I mean, it wasn't like making babies or anything!

[He sits himself down nearby as he explains, as if anything of this is normal.]

But, see, my mom had the ability to bring plants to life. I didn't know I had it until I had a watermelon seed-spitting contest with my dad! All the seeds I spat out became watermelon people. It was really neat! At least at first. But then they started fighting whenever they thought I was in danger...

[then he looks down sadly.]

...and then the nicest one of them all, Melon Baby, gave his life to teach them a lesson. [He sniffles a little, but then he looks chipper again.]

So they all left after that, and I know they're going to learn how to become better melon people from now on.

[....

Is he sorry he asked? A little, yes. This is one strange child- or one with a really active imagination. Or maybe both at once.]

What, uh. What exactly do melon people fight about?

[Oh, you have no idea yet.]

The thing is, they saw me as their dad! So if they thought that anyone was hurting me at all... even if they were't... then the melons would attack the poor person with their melony fists!

It was a sad time for us all...

[He's certainly getting a few ideas the further this goes.]

That... sounds unfortunate for the melons.

[Wouldn't their melony fists very quickly become melony pulp? They're not the sturdiest of fruits.

Wait, why is he thinking about that.]

It was really unfortunate! If I didn't stop the fighting, I think the Crystal Gems would have ended up destroying them all to stop them from hurting people.

[He shakes his head sadly.]

We can only hope now that they learn how to live better, and become better - but more watermelon-y - members of society.

[It's lucky Kazuto has a good poker face, or he'd be smiling at the silliness of the tragedy. Seriously, talking watermelon. What an imagination.]

Does that mean you have to be more careful when you eat fruit?

Yeah... But only if there's seeds in it! [He gives a simple shrug.]

If there's nothing in them that'll grow, then things'll be just peachy!