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[feathery]

Who: Davesprite and co. (aka you)
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: All aboard the Marsiva, choo choo
When: Now ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

based on past and present levels of circulating cultural confusion we have a number of seriously deprived abductees in our midst
and it looks like atroma has finally fucking stepped up to fix this utter travesty
like sure theyre fucking creeps and probably have photos of your drawers
maybe theyve even stolen your drawers
but now theyve done us all the favor of letting us further our education in whatever deliriously biznasty way we so choose
gotta prep for the future somehow right
for those of you not in the know where im from our academic framework is based on "pop culture"
its the backbone for every single earth career in the future
case in point
time travel is dangerous fucking business
so hells of fucking dangerous in fact there are many manuals on why you shouldnt do it
its spawned its own subgenre of science fiction
but none of them can trump the core work that is back to the future
this is a documentary trilogy that presents the truest of temporal moral dilemmas: do you or do you not feel up your teen mom to ensure your parents hook up and do the nasty
it is a cornerstone of every time janitors greatest fucking fears if not the capstone itself
not that i expect many of you to pursue a career in chronological relativity and all the bullshit that entails
(and if you do were going to have to sit down and chat about your poor life choices)
but despite its temporal focus back to the future is required viewing for people from all walks of life
i mean at the very least you can tell off any time travelers you meet for their gross negligence
and lets be real who here has anything better to do
you are bored as fuck dont even deny
i have slept more in the last couple weeks than i have in the last six months and im still going fucking bananas from being stuck in this steel coop despite literal years of practice with cabin fever
not even trawling the veritable goldmine of futuristic multimedia is taking the edge off at this point
so yeah
im here to provide an educational service aka movie marathon so grab your fucking hoverboards assholes
get your asses to the main room and bring your popcorn
were going back to the future

Comments

[frigidaire]

1) wait. you're behind a conspiracy theory? i mean, if they're stealing our underwear, then yeah they need to be stopped. but i'm pretty sure they're doing worse things. basically i got to"parents do the nasty" and skipped straight to the popcorn.
2) if you're behind conspiracy theories, it makes sense that you'd lie to me. lying about popcorn.
3) popcorn.gif and about doritos.
4) again. you had doritos and didn't share. you're not cool anymore bird dave.

[feathery]

1) im behind the conspiracy of where your food goes when its unsupervised
2) so yeah i guess i could be lying about the popcorn
3) but i dont lie about doritos corn chips are serious fucking business
4) and thats fucking rude bro i just offered to share my spoils of dubious origins
its not my fault i didnt want to risk someone dying of sprite poisoning before i got the kinks worked out

[frigidaire]

1) right. my guess is that it goes right into your stomach, but. go ahead, tell me all about it.
2) except not really because you're gonna lie about that too.
3) if you don't share the doritos it's not going to be pretty, i'm warning you now.
4) how can you die of sprite poisoning? has the carbon soured? is the syrup bad? is that something that can happen to sprite. maybe i'll stick ti 7up from now on.

[feathery]

1) if i tell you it goes to my stomach and thats a lie then it makes all your guesswork for naught
2) thats kind of tragic dude
3) what flavor of doritos do you want im branching out from nacho cheese
4) you die of sprite poisoning by sniffing the carbon fumes obviously
these chips were like
fucking drenched in that shit
clearly i had to separate it out

[frigidaire]

1) i didn't try very hard so i won't cry over it. keep your secrets, Bond, Bird Bond.
2) you have the glasses and everything to be a new Bond. have you seen those movies?
3) nacho cheese is the best though. maybe pickle. or ham. anything. i'll eat anything.
4) wait so are you saying the doritos are poisonous?
with carbon or something?
carbon is bad for you right?
what even are you Bird Dave.

[feathery]

1) bird bond makes it sound like im some kind of currency
2) and which bond movies do you mean there were a lot of them
i cant even keep track of how many there were
not that it matters since i dont remember most of them too well but ive got the important shit down
so yeah i know the general premise
your cultural reference was secured
3) why are we still talking with numbers
4) this is a question were all better off pretending was never asked

[frigidaire]

1) you're either a kind of currency or a really bad foot cream. which could be useful, i guess. you won't have athletes foot ever.
2) my cultural reference was secured? i don't think you're capable of typing like a normal person are you?
3) right. stopping the numbers. even though we're typing with letters, not talking with numbers.

so what you're getting at is that the doritos are dangerous. but you're offering them to the masses and suggesting i come up with new flavors for them. right. yeah, sounds like a great idea.

[feathery]

thanks
and no im not its a very serious medical condition
my fingers seize up if i try to type like im normal in any way whatsoever
the struggle is real

[Thanks, Atroma, for letting him update his meme database.]

but yeah pretty much
what could possibly go wrong
theyre just doritos
(famous last words i know)

[frigidaire]

yeah and i have a condition that's called: not caring. but what kind of condolences are you offering me for my struggle?

my real struggle is the fact that your weird space sprite doritos might actually kill me. it's hard to kill werewolves, but that sounds like it might do the trick.

[feathery]

the edible kind
for real dude theyre not gonna hurt you pretty much everyone aboard the wondersocks eats them and theyre fine
our ship doc is one hundred percent unpowered human
are you telling me a werewolf is gonna get trumped by that
like dont get me wrong
shes awesome
but ive been depowered before and its a fuckin head trip

[frigidaire]

just because they've eaten them recently doesn't mean they won't have some weird long term effect. i mean, not that i'm going to turn down doritos because it's going to beat this gel stuff any day.

i've seen werewolves get trumped by weirder things. like fruit punch. a whistle. i mean, things get weird back home.

[ granted all of those things were laced with wolfsbane, but... ] what is she when she's re-powered then?

[feathery]

did you seriously get trumped by a dog whistle
and no i mean
she just hasnt got any weird properties besides being normal
though i would figure you dont want to get on her bad side if youre on one end of a scalpel and shes on the other
sounds like a bad time

[frigidaire]

the whistle had werewolf poison in it okay.
it was just a normal whistle.

[ because he's not about to tell anyone here about wolfsbane. sorry, he's not taking the chance. ]

i heal fast, but that would still suck.
so, no thanks. i'll be nice to whoever she is.

[feathery]

oh
so if a whistle is covered in werewolf poison
is it enough to just blow the whistle in a werewolfs general vicinity
or do you have to convince them to use your spit covered tweeter
because that sounds dumb and kind of gross

[frigidaire]

the poison just has to be airborne.
doesn't effect humans.
no blowing spit covered tweeters.
sorry to burst your bubble.

[feathery]

hey the only persons whose bubble might get burst in this situation is yours
im just here to make the questionable sounding euphemisms dude

[frigidaire]

yours is good job to have.
i should start grading the excellence of your innuendos.
'Today Bird Dave got a D.'

[feathery]

bs
i know the word choice was subpar but it made up for it for the gross imagery
it comes out to about average

[frigidaire]

a C then, fine.
but no more. you'll have to try harder than that.

[feathery]

if i feel like it later sure
you cant rush genius
oh hey
speaking of movies though
have you ever seen teen wolf

[frigidaire]

seriously.
teen wolf.
what are you playing at?
no i haven't. is it any good?

[feathery]

depends on your definition of "good"
its no back to the future
but if were tripping our way through the 80s we might as well hit a couple werewolf classics
an american werewolf in london is always on the suggestion table too but michael j fox wasnt in that one so its of less topical intrigue

[frigidaire]

i didn't know we were going down memory lane but yeah fine.
werewolf classics. we need to find some bird men movies.
but i think there's only horror movies.
are we only watching movies with mjf?
that's a pretty limited category, and he's not even that good.

[feathery]

im only here to vouch for the serious time travel dissertation and hes the thematic link between that and the werewolf movies
so i dont know if you want to branch out from there im open to ideas

[frigidaire]

time travel dissertation? you need to get off of this spaceship. or something. no one talks like that.
but sure we can watch teen wolf and back to the future. maybe should watch an american werwolf in london while we're at it.