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[feathery]

Who: Davesprite and co. (aka you)
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: All aboard the Marsiva, choo choo
When: Now ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

based on past and present levels of circulating cultural confusion we have a number of seriously deprived abductees in our midst
and it looks like atroma has finally fucking stepped up to fix this utter travesty
like sure theyre fucking creeps and probably have photos of your drawers
maybe theyve even stolen your drawers
but now theyve done us all the favor of letting us further our education in whatever deliriously biznasty way we so choose
gotta prep for the future somehow right
for those of you not in the know where im from our academic framework is based on "pop culture"
its the backbone for every single earth career in the future
case in point
time travel is dangerous fucking business
so hells of fucking dangerous in fact there are many manuals on why you shouldnt do it
its spawned its own subgenre of science fiction
but none of them can trump the core work that is back to the future
this is a documentary trilogy that presents the truest of temporal moral dilemmas: do you or do you not feel up your teen mom to ensure your parents hook up and do the nasty
it is a cornerstone of every time janitors greatest fucking fears if not the capstone itself
not that i expect many of you to pursue a career in chronological relativity and all the bullshit that entails
(and if you do were going to have to sit down and chat about your poor life choices)
but despite its temporal focus back to the future is required viewing for people from all walks of life
i mean at the very least you can tell off any time travelers you meet for their gross negligence
and lets be real who here has anything better to do
you are bored as fuck dont even deny
i have slept more in the last couple weeks than i have in the last six months and im still going fucking bananas from being stuck in this steel coop despite literal years of practice with cabin fever
not even trawling the veritable goldmine of futuristic multimedia is taking the edge off at this point
so yeah
im here to provide an educational service aka movie marathon so grab your fucking hoverboards assholes
get your asses to the main room and bring your popcorn
were going back to the future

Comments

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[evildetector]

Hell. Yes.

[feathery]

hell fucking yes
thank you for your support fellow texter
bring your friends so they dont make the dumbass mistake of going uneducated

[evildetector]

You say that like I'd ever be friends with someone who hasn't seen BttF.

[feathery]

[Usually he'd be on board with this, but he has like...no friends who know anything about pop culture besides Alex. So he's just wondering how this happens.]

do you just
not go outside

[evildetector]

Well. Outside is kind of "space," so.

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[frigidaire]

1) confirmed: there is something wrong with you. definitely.
2) there is popcorn here and you were holding out?
3) i'm really only coming for the popcorn.

[feathery]

1) thank you im here to make sure some of the crazy ass conspiracy theories around here are legit
2) i dont actually have popcorn
3) you need to bring the popcorn it says it right there in the post dude
4) the best i can do is doritos so come for those instead

[frigidaire]

1) wait. you're behind a conspiracy theory? i mean, if they're stealing our underwear, then yeah they need to be stopped. but i'm pretty sure they're doing worse things. basically i got to"parents do the nasty" and skipped straight to the popcorn.
2) if you're behind conspiracy theories, it makes sense that you'd lie to me. lying about popcorn.
3) popcorn.gif and about doritos.
4) again. you had doritos and didn't share. you're not cool anymore bird dave.

[feathery]

1) im behind the conspiracy of where your food goes when its unsupervised
2) so yeah i guess i could be lying about the popcorn
3) but i dont lie about doritos corn chips are serious fucking business
4) and thats fucking rude bro i just offered to share my spoils of dubious origins
its not my fault i didnt want to risk someone dying of sprite poisoning before i got the kinks worked out

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[resnipstance]

I'm not sure I understood any of that.

Something about time travel?

[feathery]

the most important thing to take away from this is
dont time travel
and lets watch a movie about the reasons why you shouldnt time travel
do you have popcorn

[resnipstance]

I don't know. What's popcorn?

[feathery]

how can you have chess but not popcorn

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[onlyanapple]

Did you just unironically call Back to the Future a 'documentary'?

[feathery]

are you engaging in the double whammy of questioning my irony and time travel credentials

[onlyanapple]

No. I just think it's a little much to call a movie where Michael J Fox runs about dropping pop culture decades before it comes about naturally a work of factual programming.

[feathery]

i cant believe im saying this to someone who actually knows what back to the future is
but you are taking this way too seriously
by which i mean obviously this is a documentary come on dude how could anyone ever doubt the factuality behind 1.21 jigowatts

[unfulfilledpotential]

i'm kind of confused. so yes, we ARE watching back to the future?
just the first, or are we aiming for the whole trilogy?

[feathery]

yes were watching back to the future
and yes we are watching the whole trilogy
i mean the first movie is the most important so if you wanna cut and run after that like a groom ditching his bride at the altar because you have commitment issues
thats your choice
but part ii is what really drives home the existential horror of seeing your future self and all his wasted potential
pretty heavy shit yo

[unfulfilledpotential]

never thought about it like that.
it was way more fun pretending that we had our own hoverboards.

not sure if i can get more popcorn, but i'll be there!

mfw i actually notice shawns username

[feathery]

just keep the protein gel to a minimum and were cool
wait
"more"
how long ago did you have a stash of popcorn

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[notkittenaround]

This should be a most intriguing cultural exchange, though I have no popcorn to provision us with.

[feathery]

were coming up short on that front all around so its cool
what kind of junk food do they have where youre from anyway

[notkittenaround]

Of junk food.. Apple juice, cookies and tarts, bubble chocolate t'would be most common. I am passing fond of haddock dip with crackers.

[feathery]

oh fuck yes
if youve got apple juice that is all i need to know
well it would be cooler if they had a steady supply of apple juice here but i bet itd be fake gelatin shit anyway
so maybe thats a blessing in disguise
never heard of bubble chocolate though