One - Well Honed Thought

[tallasaking]

Who: Tyrion Lannister
Broadcast: Fleet-wide
Action: Aboard the Marvisa
When: Er, nowish.

[When the communication device is turned on, you are greeted with a scarred, bearded face that has seen better days, topped with golden curls mixed with black, and mis-matched eyes besides. Despite this rather ... interesting visage, the eyes are mixed with some sort of dark humor and his mouth is crooked with a flat sort of smile. The voice, however, ah, flows like honey.]

Good day, my fellow travelers. I apologize for my ... current state of less than noble stature, but I assure you that a wash and a shave will do no one any favors. I find myself at more of a loss over silken robes onto what ... precisely I am doing here. I have some knowledge - I am on something called a space ship, I am to be an engineer for such a vehicle but ... not entirely sure where, and I am here to entertain people. And before I forget my manners further I am Tyrion Lannister. If that name means anything to you, knowing that I have been thrown into such a role probably amuses you, so I appear to be ahead on my designated purpose on this show.

For the rest of you, I have two questions. One ... is it to be considered amusing when my lack of practical application in managing such a metal beast sends us crashing into some other spacial object, and two, ... there is wine here, is there not?

[A sigh, and a hand rubbing across his beard.] Not a great deal is needed. Just a glass. Just so I can ... stop breathing heavily and think we are all about to suffocate from the lack of oxygen from apparently being surrounded by an airless ... vacuum, I believe the word is, popping into my mind. Yes.

[He smiles, and it's not a bad smile at that.] Pleasure to meet you all, by the by.

Comments

[tallasaking]

And what, pray tell, is a Qunari?

[Tyrion himself lays back on his cot, and does the same. So now, two ceilings are communicating with themselves.]

Yes ... very generously, but it does not make it love, Cole.

[killedwithlove]

Um, they're Qunari? They're big and most of them have horns, but not all of them, and they follow the Qun, which says I'm evil and should be killed, but The Iron Bull decided that people were more important to him than what the Qun said.

No. I know the difference between love and sex and prostitution. And the three are all different.

[tallasaking]

...Gracious. They must be a terrifying race. [Tyrion murmured thoughtfully, as he leaned back to look up at the ceiling further.] And I certainly don't like them going about and killing people just because their Qun says so.

[A bitter laugh.] And now, so do I. I shall never have the first, or the second freely, and the third ... I believe I am done with.

[killedwithlove]

Well, I'm not really people. Only sort of people.

[Unseen, Cole winces and presses a hand to his chest.]

Here will be different for you.

[tallasaking]

Cole, you are one of the kindest souls I have ever spoken to. Be you man, or spirit ... you are quite fine with me.

[Tyrion's mouth twists a little more.] ... We shall see.

[killedwithlove]

Here has another dwarf. You haven't met another dwarf before, have you?

[tallasaking]

I have. She thought it was a great life to be the butt of someone else's jokes. I cannot say she was the best company, but I have had far, far worse.

[killedwithlove]

Varric told me I don't understand jokes.

[tallasaking]

Hmmm. I am not entirely sure she did either.

[killedwithlove]

I like jokes, though. I like when people share smiles and laughs.

[tallasaking]

Well, then I shall tell you some truly shocking and hilarious tales I have heard in my travels.

[killedwithlove]

... I like stories.

[He sounds almost breathless as he says it.]

When we're back on our real ships, I'll come and see you, I pilot Pathstone, and you can tell me stories.

[tallasaking]

Well, you are in luck. I know many of them.

[He smiles almost faintly to the ceiling.]

What kind of story would you like to hear first?

[killedwithlove]

A happy one.

[He thinks a moment longer.]

Where no one dies.

[tallasaking]

Well ... I want to thank you immediately for giving me a true challenge.

[A happy story where no one dies - he might have to go to Sansa's favorite tales.]

[killedwithlove]

I like those stories, because they don't happen much in real life.

[tallasaking]

No, they do not. Very well, I shall find a tale which does not happen in real life.

[killedwithlove]

I'll ask you to tell it to me when we meet in person.

[tallasaking]

Well, thank you for also giving me the time to prepare such a story for you.

[killedwithlove]

I will see you sometime in the future.

[And he turns off the line.]