We'll be back after these important messages

[thespaceopera]

[just when it seems like the Hosts are going to leave you all to yourselves, with this latest upset--augments glitching left and right, revealing things that are supposed to be hidden--the faces of Atroma appear once more. the usual jingle plays from the speakers in the main hall, and the giant screen flickers to life.

Diamond's smiling face once again graces her beloved passengers.]

Good evening, everyone! I hope you are all doing well, despite the... continuing technical issues.

I would first like to thank you all for being so patient! We greatly appreciate your cooperation through this difficult time, and we want to assure you that the repairs are nearly complete.

I can't imagine how eager you all must be to get out of here and return to the comfort of your own ships. I want nothing more than to speed the fleet through this rough patch, and get back to our regularly scheduled activities.

So... if you're like me, and are getting tired of all of this calibration nonsense, let me tell you exactly how we can all make that happen.

[and here's where she takes a breath, with a little rise and drop of her shoulders, but she doesn't let her smile falter.]

...I see that some of you have been digging at things that might seem fun and interesting at first, but I would like to let you know that the more energy we spend putting everything back where it belongs, the longer the calibrations are going to take.

So, instead of making things harder on yourselves and on us, I would like you all to do something that will speed things up a bit. Instead of straining yourselves on outdated and silly things, I encourage you to find someone who isn't part of your own crew and talk to them. Make a new friend and tell them all about your ship and the interesting folks you live with.

Not only will the audience love it, but you will be focusing on your beloved ships and establishing new connections, and that is just the kind of thing that will make this whole thing easier on all of us.

Sounds simple, right? Just get out there, say hello to someone, exchange some stories, and we'll all be done with this unpleasant business in no time.

[and just as they had on the first day of calibration, your Hosts are right there, present and listening.

you certainly don't have to answer them in the way that they would like, but if you do have anything to say to the Hosts, now is a great time to do so. who knows when they'll deign to speak to the fleet in real-time again.]

Comments

[deshabille]

This has all been very informative. But just to make sure I have this perfectly clear . . . your suggestion, then, is to ignore all the frightening and potentially dangerous things that are happening in order to speed-date?

[thespaceopera]

[a patient smile as she seems to take this all in even stride.]

Well, I can assure you that there is nothing dangerous here, but... I suppose you could look at it like that.

[and then she offers an impish sort of wink.]

The dating part is optional, though.

[experiencepoints]

You know, if you want us to cooperate, wouldn't the easiest way to accomplish that be to tell us what is actually going on? And not leave out important details, like the ship we're trapped in actually being some kind of monster?

[thespaceopera]

Monster? [she looks shocked and a little insulted.] I don't know what you could mean.

The only monsters around here are the ones that attacked us and put you all in this position in the first place.

[dancingmd]

[So far, her policy has been simply to never acknowledge Diamond or Beau's presence but... she can't help it this time, even though she is pretty sure she's going to regret it.]

Ah yes, there's nothing a little small talk won't fix, including kidnapping, enslavement, the deepest violation of our privacy, and the continued distortion of our perception of reality.

[Her tone is less sarcastic than just... angry.]

[thespaceopera]

[oh, look at this! a passenger who hasn't opened up much yet. she seems pleased by this, despite what her words might imply.]

Now, that is an unnecessarily negative attitude. I know we are all frustrated right now, but that's no reason to say incensing things while someone is trying to help.

[delincuente]

[Alex stands there for just a second, one hand holding a cup of coffee and the other on her hip. She seems to consider Diamond's message with a small amount of criticism, before removing her hand from her hip, raising it up into the air, and-

Oh, well, you might have to censor that out of the aired footage. Sorry.]

[thespaceopera]

[she looks surprised and shakes her head... but there also seems to be a quiet, underlying current of amusement back there somewhere.

this will make an entertaining addition to the Calibration Special montage.]

[rubbernecking]

[ A television announcer, or game show host? Luffy's seen these before, the last one was apparently a robot that looked human enough. Usually they dispense information, it's not like he could rail at this face smiling at him through the screen and accomplish anything.

Besides. He'd heard you get paid more if, as Ino put it, you're more entertaining. Ever since that conversation, he's been chewing over what's supposed to be entertaining.

A year ago he wouldn't have even played along, too stubborn to do things any other way than his own, but that didn't work, it didn't send him or his friends home, and where amassing as much wealth as possible meant you could possibly go back... His conclusion (aside from a headache because that much thinking really is exhausting, he doesn't know how other people do it so much) is it's probably about the same here. ]

Sure, okay.

[ response combo breaker?

Play the long game, you did it before and you can do it again, it's going to be so much harder without the support you had once but this is it. This is what you've got so don't screw it up. Your crew, your friends are counting on your return, captain. ]

I was on a cooking show once, but never did anything like this before. What other stuff do these guys like?

[thespaceopera]

[oh... she turns her gaze in his direction, and her brows raise in interest. this is a different response than she usually gets.]

...Are you asking how to keep the audience happy?

[save_the_souls]

[...Yeah. Allen feels about the same level of anger as the rest of the people who are responding to this. But, he has a feeling just trying to tell Diamond of ethics won't do much good, so...]

If that'll get us off this ship faster-

[He forces a smile at the camera]

Let's start with you, Diamond, okay? So...who are you, and what made you decide kidnapping people for money was a great job opportunity? Or tell us more about Atroma, or the Marsiva.

Any question, I'm sure it's an interesting story that the audience would love to hear.

[thespaceopera]

[oh, and she returns that smile so sweetly...]

Unfortunately, that isn't exactly how it works, dear.

See, the point is to have you focus on your ship. It doesn't do any good if I'm the one sharing.

[forsometimenow]

Meeting new people is something I can do. It's been my goal, after all. [As much as Jennifer hates following Atroma's instructions in any way... it HAS been when she's been trying to push herself into doing.] But while I have your attention, I just wanted to ask... why me? I'm not good at talking to people outside the medbay. I don't see myself as having any appeal as a television star. So why pick someone like me to be on your show?

[thespaceopera]

[she clicks her tongue in a gently admonishing way, and her expression softens.]

You don't see how someone could want to watch the story of someone like you? Wouldn't you be interested in following the tale of a dedicated, quiet-mannered doctor, who might not see her own strength sometimes?

Never overlook what makes you special, dear. Your fans certainly aren't.

[tallasaking]

[Tyrion pressed his fingertips together, considering this woman with the perfect smile and wondering just how many lies that covered. Probably more than he wanted to think about. She reminded him of Cersei, or even Shae, and that just made him want to do violent things to her.

Instead, he responded with a smooth and polite tone.]

When we say ... done with this unpleasant business, does that mean you will then be releasing everyone to return home, or do you mean, you will continue to keep us under observation for the amusement of the masses?

[A crooked smile in turn.] Oh, yes, by the by ... Hello. I am Tyrion Lannister, one of your newest captives. I like wine. I believe it is your turn to share - such as - what does - [and here he takes out a piece of paper, which is carefully written.] Multimedia Enrichment Host Ship #56295001, mean?

[thespaceopera]

Oh, I know exactly who you are, dear.

And while you may be missing the point of my instruction, I'll humor you.

That number is the Marsiva's designated ID number-- nothing more. Which, really goes to show that tampering with pointless things you should leave alone isn't going to help anyone.

[takeabow]

[ Nova knows well enough not to question things in places like this, even if it doesn't seem like a logical progression, but she's feeling confined and irritated. ]

How is talking to people supposed to help anything?

[thespaceopera]

[but she's also not being particularly impolite while she's feeling confined and irritated, and the Host seems to appreciate that.]

Aside from the audience enjoying those kinds of things... putting your mind on your home ship and focusing on that, instead of trying to tamper with things you really should leave alone, will help these calibrations go more smoothly.

[preformthisneigh]

[He sounds amicable as always, when he speaks, but the undercurrent of sarcasm is very much there. He's kinda pissy about the whole memory thing.]

"The more energy we spend putting everything back where it belongs, the longer the calibrations are going to take."

Okay. So. Call me crazy a lot of people do and they're not entirely wrong but that sounds a teensy weensy ever so tiny bit like a threat. In that 'bad foals, you stop playing about with something that might help you or the memory exposing nightmares will never end' kind of way. There's a tone there, y'know?

[He gives a little shrug of his shoulders. ]

Doesn't seem to follow with that Stepford happy squeaky clean theme you guys have been running with. Might wanna watch that. You know what they say about image. Once its dirtied, no soap in the world can clean it again.

Kinda like getting sauerkraut on a tablecloth. Blegh.

[thespaceopera]

[she clicks her tongue at him, in a gently disapproving way.]

I'm not threatening you, dear. I'm only being honest. And I'm trying to help you.

Focusing on your ship, and stopping this silly tampering with things that really won't help anyone, will help this all end more quickly.

[empireofmymind]

You're the one who brought us here?

[ It certainly sounds that way, but... ]

[thespaceopera]

Who, me?

[she laughs a little.]

Oh, dear, I'm only the host.

[punchingly]

[ blinking; she senses the ominous parts of the threat and seems nonplussed, perhaps because she is not entirely worried that they will come through with it. After all, the people on these ships are still worth some merit. Otherwise they would have been disposed of promptly, in the hands of an angry set of TV gods. ]

You wish to distract us from learning about you.

[thespaceopera]

[she offers a gentle smile in the face of such an accusation.]

I don't know what I've done to make you so suspicious, but I really am trying to help.

Trust me, I want this inconvenience over as much you all do.

[survives]

But... Isn't that kind of what we've been doing already?

[What else are you supposed to do when you can't go anywhere?? Gosh.]

[thespaceopera]

Some of you have, and that is wonderful.

It's just hard when pointless tampering by some certain other passengers is undoing that good work.

video;

[arcanepower]

[He considers this, and then responds in Thalassian, which is a very pretty language.

The remark is something along the lines of 'Atroma can spend its time providing sexual pleasure to its own mother'.]

video;

[thespaceopera]

[and she shakes her head with much disapproval!]

Goodness, that is rather rude.

And here your fans had considered you such a charming young man...

[reconstitution]

There wouldn't be much digging were there truth to anything you have to say.

[ A beat. ]

A prison is still a prison, it doesn't matter how many nice things you put in the cage.

[thespaceopera]

[her smile subtly widens.]

Those are lovely words, I will admit. You're becoming quite eloquent, aren't you?

And... goodness, I would think that you of all people would know what a prison really looks like.

[then, she taps a fingertip against her chin for a moment.]

Though, I suppose you've never been very good at recognizing when someone is trying to help, hmm?