Є004

[forgetyourusedtobe]

Who: Elena + You
Broadcast: video
Action: marsiva
When: rite nao!!

[Elena is curled up on one of the couches.]

So is anyone else starting to get a little worried we're not going back to our ships? I thought maybe this would last a couple of days or a week at the most, but...

[She shakes her head a little with a sigh.]

At least they gave us some entertainment, I guess.

[If her tone of voice is any indication, she doesn't find that all that comforting.]

Comments

private;

[forgetyourusedtobe]

You...

[Elena shakes her head a little. She's not really an expert on this when you get down to it. She's died twice. Both times were traumatic in their own right. She still mourns her humanity even now, something that she doesn't talk about with anyone because not many people here know the truth. (As for back home, how could she complain when other people were in the same boat as her without saying a word about it?) But she at least recognizes there's something inherently not okay with not talking about it or pretending like it doesn't matter.]

I lost a lot of things when I died, but I'm still around. Caesar, if you leave here... [She purses her lips.] You're just gone. You can't act like that's nothing. This is your life we're talking about and that matters.

You matter.

private;

[mylegacy]

[It's true. If he leaves here, if things don't work out in this bizarrely magical way, the way he still has trouble believing in some days . . . then he's gone. That's true. And it's not nothing, he knows that, but it just.]

[It feels like nothing sometimes. He failed, didn't he? Why should he have another chance, just because someone wants him to? Why should he be upset about losing his opportunity to live when he lost it fair and square? No one stole it from him. He just lost it.]

[You matter.]

[He sighs.]

If you say so.

private;

[forgetyourusedtobe]

[It feels like a slap to the face and the look crosses her face briefly. Not that he means it that way or that she even has a right to it, but it still stings. It still hurts to hear him not even come close to accepting what she says, but simply allowing it to be.]

[She shakes her head slowly, but at a complete and total loss of what to say. If he argued with her about it, she'd know what to say. If he agreed, she'd know what to say. But just letting it hang there and let that be that...]

[What do you even begin to say to that?]

private;

[mylegacy]

[He doesn't mean to hurt her. That's not what he's trying to do. It's just that - it doesn't feel real. It doesn't feel like something that's true. So no matter how many times people say it to him, he won't believe it.]

[She's trying, though. And if he says anything else, he's pretty sure he'll hurt her more. So - he just needs to not say anything else.]

[The smile he gives her is faint, apologetic.]

I'm sorry. I think . . . I'm going to go for now. Excuse me.

[He nods, and hangs up.]