driftfleet | five ○ voice / action

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five ○ voice / action

Who: Caesar & u
Broadcast: Fleetwide!
Action: Marsiva, kitchens & gym!
When: Ostensibly 11/15, but really whenever

[His voice sounds muted, almost bored, but anybody who actually knows him might be a little worried at the lack of underlying irritation there. There's the clank of pots and pans in the background, also muted.]

Since we're stuck here for the foreseeable future - I understand that people are coping. [As people do. For what good it does.] I don't have the proper augment, but I know how to cook if anyone wants to learn. I don't have anything else to do. [Besides watch The Princess Bride on endless repeat.]

[. . . And then, almost as an afterthought:]

I can fight, too. If anyone wants that.

[Find him in the kitchens, or the gym on request. Close CR can assume a delivery of a comfort food of their choice.]

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He has a big mouth.

[Telling tactical secrets to girls who indiscriminately kick people in the butt.]

If he hadn't said so, I would have been able to guess just now.

There's a difference between giving a secret away and earning it, you know.

[ She pushes herself off the counter, taking a few steps around to stand in front of him, now. She's also looking pretty amused, still. But she'll be nice. ]

I could teach you, if you wanted.

Please teach me.

[He gives her a look that's honestly pretty desperate.]

It's so boring here, Ino.

[ She grins again, trying not to laugh -- but she'll hold out a hand for him to take ]

[Hmm.]

[He takes her hand - and then picks her up by the waist and slings her over his shoulder, heading out of the kitchen towards the gym.]

[ Well, that was ... not what she was expecting, nor was it why she put out her hand. She's flailing around a little bit when she realizes what is happening ]

H-Hey! I can walk myself ... !

You can.

[He sniffs. Keeps on strolling down the hallway. In front of all these people . . .]

But then how would I get revenge?

[ Oh my god. YOU'RE EMBARRASSING HER. ]

I'm gonna suplex you so hard you fall into space!

[ Ha ha, she's so cute when she's angry! ]

Hmm, I don't think so . . .

[Hup. Bouncing her to the other shoulder.]

[ PUNCHES HIM IN THE SHOULDER. HARD. B( ]

Ow!

[FUCKING DROPS HER THEN]

[ THAT'S WHAT YOU GET.

Only when he drops her, she's doing a flip to touch down on the wall nearby, before using that as leverage to jump off and basically rocket herself at him to tackle him ]

[WHY IS HIS LIFE LIKE THIS HE IS CONSTANTLY BEING HARASSED ALL THE TIME IT'S NOT LIKE HE LIKES IT]

[BAKA]

[By all logical reasoning she should not be able to knock him down, and yet . . . she definitely does. He hits the floor with a whump.]

[ TSUN HARDER, CICI.

Once she's got him on the ground, she just sits on his stomach (at least she's barely 100 lbs wet?) and looks at him with a smug smile ]

Why, Caesar, I didn't know you liked the floor so much.

[He glares up at her, then crosses his arms over his chest.]

Get off me.

[ She doesn't get up. ]

Eh ... I don't know. This seat is pretty comfortable.

Ino, I am not a seat. This is ridiculous. Act your age.

[No, Caesar, you act your age, Jesus.]

But then how would I get my revenge?

[ Ino is not above acting five to make a point. ]

Surely you can come up with something more creative than this.

[Are you actually asking her to kick your ass better, because that seems dumb.]

You're right. I could do better.

[ The excitement in the tone of her voice suggests you are going to seriously regret that, Caesar. But she'll get up in a swift movement, and slip her toes under one of his sides to sort of ... flip him over with her foot and basically send him rolling down the hallway, if he doesn't stop her ]

Roll away, polpetto~

[What. What is hap-- no, that's not-- HEY WHAT THE FUCK INO FOR FUCK'S SAKE--]

[He is about 800% too surprised to stop her, and there he fucking goes, wheeeee down the hall, yelling angrily in Italian all the way.]

[ Ah. How interesting. Noting all of that swearing for later!

Anyways, she'll just poof from where she started to further down about where he'll stop or slow down at least, and wait for him to arrive. And also probably get up and yell at her. ]

[He does indeed roll to a halt, and . . . he does indeed get up to yell at her. So predictable.]

What the hell, Ino!

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ino - 2015-12-06 14:04 (UTC) - Expand

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