001

[housepartyprotocol]

Who: Tony Stark and anyone!
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Still on The Marsiva
When: Now

[ The video feed crackles to life, and on the screen is a man looking equal parts composed and annoyed. He settles into the frame and smiles wryly.]

I'm not going to waste time here asking where we are, since I'd like to think we can all recognize space, but fair warning: you've got about [ he looks at his watch ] 2 minutes before I start taking this place apart. Not a threat, just making you aware that without a pretty impressive explanation, I will cannibalize your lovely and expensive ship and fly myself home.

[ He smiles briefly and with no humor before sitting back in his chair and tapping his watch. ]

Comments

[resnipstance]

[A small eyebrow raise.] Will it even mean anything to you if I tell you?

[She sighs.]

My current home is on Coruscant.

[housepartyprotocol]

[ Narrowing his eyes at that. ]

Why does that sound familiar?

[resnipstance]

Being at the center of the known galaxy tends to have that effect on a planet. And yet, most people here have never heard of it.

Are you from somewhere in the Outer Rim? Though, even people on backwater planets like Tatooine have heard of Coruscant. I can't imagine how far out you'd have to be to not even be able to place it...

[housepartyprotocol]

Okay, wait. Back up. Tatooine I've heard of. Star Wars.

[ He gives her a look. ]

You're just making this stuff up. Good job though, you almost had me.

[resnipstance]

[Tony pls. She's an alien. Why would she be talking about weird Earth movies. She just looks confused.]

Why would I be making anything up? Are you talking about the Clone Wars?

[housepartyprotocol]

[ Tony is a nerd, but not that much of one. The name doesn't ring a bell. ]

Uh, nope. More like 'Help me Obi-wan Kenobi, you're my only hope.'

[resnipstance]

You know Master Obi-Wan, but you don't know Coruscant? What weird planet do you live on?

[housepartyprotocol]

[ Still not 100% sure if he's missing the joke. ]

Earth. Or, you know, one of the Earths. This place is really calling that into question.

[resnipstance]

Well, as far as I'm aware, "Earth" isn't even my galaxy.

So. I'll ask you again. How do you know of Master Obi-Wan?

[housepartyprotocol]

Told you. Star Wars. This is getting repetitive, we both know you know it. Obi-wan isn't really a name you pull out of a hat.

[resnipstance]

You're the one who's getting repetitive. I don't know where you're getting your information on galactic current affairs, but the current conflict is being termed the Clone Wars, not the Star Wars. As for Obi-Wan, let me simplify this for you.

I'm Ahsoka Tano. Previously Commander Tano of the 501st Division, of the Grand Army of the Republic. General Obi-Wan Kenobi is a good friend of mine, and also the old master of my old master.

[How fast can you put two and two together, Tony? Whose padawan does that make her?]

Recently, I left the Jedi Order to pursue a different path. Does that clear things up for you?

[housepartyprotocol]

[ Blandly ]

Not even a little bit. Big fan of Yoda, though.

[resnipstance]

[Darkly:]

Yeah, well that makes one of us.

[housepartyprotocol]

Come on, everyone likes Yoda.

[resnipstance]

Sure, everyone like Yoda until they find out he's a giant hypocrite.

[housepartyprotocol]

Everyone is a hypocrite.

[resnipstance]

Maybe so, but when you're the leader of an Order of a hundred thousand and your decisions affect millions, you kind of have to be better than that.

[Yeah, she's bitter.]

[housepartyprotocol]

[ Making a face. ]

Never look into Earth politics. You'd have an aneurysm.

[resnipstance]

Politics everywhere gives me a headache. Just give me a problem I can punch.

[housepartyprotocol]

That sounds healthy.

[resnipstance]

Clearly you haven't sat through hours of arguing in the Senate about banking deregulation. Euuughhh.

[housepartyprotocol]

I've sat through enough.

[resnipstance]

Then you know what it's like!

Look, there are people who are suited to that kind of thing. I'm not one of them. That's all.

[housepartyprotocol]

I don't know, a few of them could stand to be punched.

[resnipstance]

You won't see me disagreeing with that, either.

But apparently that causes "intergalactic incidents."