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[housepartyprotocol]

Who: Tony Stark and anyone!
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Still on The Marsiva
When: Now

[ The video feed crackles to life, and on the screen is a man looking equal parts composed and annoyed. He settles into the frame and smiles wryly.]

I'm not going to waste time here asking where we are, since I'd like to think we can all recognize space, but fair warning: you've got about [ he looks at his watch ] 2 minutes before I start taking this place apart. Not a threat, just making you aware that without a pretty impressive explanation, I will cannibalize your lovely and expensive ship and fly myself home.

[ He smiles briefly and with no humor before sitting back in his chair and tapping his watch. ]

Comments

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[reconstitution]

You wouldn't be the first to try and take the ship apart. You could try. No one leaves until they want us to.

[housepartyprotocol]

Is that so? I could always throw a fit and hit it with a hammer. It can't be indestructible.

video;

[takeabow]

[ a girl pops up on the screen, curious ]

You can do that? I'd like to see you try. And I mean that. It would be pretty cool to watch.

[housepartyprotocol]

[ He shrugs. ]

Why would I not be able to do that? With a sledgehammer and some anger you can take apart pretty much anything. And that's bordering on 'last resort'.

[video]

[evildetector]

Big words, impatient man. Uh - welcome, by the way. None of these ships belong to any of us.

Re: [video]

[housepartyprotocol]

Good, then no one will care if I ruin one.

video

[dancingmd]

I'm afraid that even if you do manage to take apart the ship, you won't be flying home any time soon, if at all. Our captors have brought us here from many different universes, so it's highly unlikely that you are still in the same one that you left.

[housepartyprotocol]

[ Massages between his eyes, increasingly frustrated with this situation. ]

And I don't remember any of this because we've all been brainwashed by the hardware in the back of our heads? Something like that?

video

[experiencepoints]

... You know, I don't mind explaining, but now I think I want to wait and see how well you can pull that off.

[housepartyprotocol]

[ Slightly exasperated. ]

What is this ship made of that no one believes you can take it apart?

audio;

[unbearablynaive]

[Well. This should be an interesting addition to the Fleet. For now, the Vision sticks to audio for obvious reasons; depending on what time Tony's from, he might not be recognized as himself. His JARVIS impressions is, however, flawless.]

As glad as I am to see you, Mr. Stark, I'm afraid our stellar coordinates match nothing known to any of our databases. I have also been unable to contact Asgard for assistance.

[housepartyprotocol]

[Tony all but jumps at the nostalgic familiarity of a radio speaking to him in JARVIS's voice. He's hesitant to respond, especially given everything that happened recently with Vision. There's really no telling who's at the other end of the call. Or what games this ship is trying to play. ]

What are the chances that I'm going crazy right now? Like 1 in 5?

video.

[mucked]

[ oh. him. having met howard's son during his brief stay in the fleet once before, she finds it doubly hard to mistake the particular flavour of his attitude.

well, bloody hell. might as well get it over with. ]

Anthony Stark, I presume?

[ somehow she sounds a touch more like an overbearing aunt than a stranger. ]

[housepartyprotocol]

[ Squints at her on the screen. It's a familiar face, but he can't quite place it. Though he's not sure which is stranger - someone up here knowing who he is, or that she called him 'Anthony'. ]

Can I help you?

ACTION

[stagstorm]

[Robert, who doesn't seem to recall even having that device he was given a few days ago, now has taken to roaming the Marsiva being oh so painfully sober. There's not many people to interact with, but when he hears a voice, well...]

You don't look much a cannibal.

[Not that Robert has in fact met one. After all, he never did manage to visit Skagosi. Still, he expected cannibals to have beards far wilder than even the one Robert was wearing.]

[housepartyprotocol]

[ Tony jumps, having been quite sure he was totally alone on the ship. This giant bear-man was not anything he expected to sneak up behind him. ]

Was that a possibility?

video.

[enhances]

[ The picture is of a blonde guy with black sclera, yellow eyes. It's close enough to his face that his metal arms aren't entirely visible, but far enough away that it's probably noticeable that something is up with him. If the eyes didn't give it away, at least. ]

If you are truly able to find your way home, I will accompany you.

[ LOOK.

He really needs to get home, alright. ]

[housepartyprotocol]

Yeah, I'm betting I'm not the only one looking to leave. I take it you've tried already?

audio;

[redactions]

Got your space-legs, Stark?

[housepartyprotocol]

Depends. Got a name, guy who obviously knows me?

Video

[complicatedliar]

[Oh, this just keeps getting better and better. Though the real question is if this is the Tony Stark he knows or not.

Even if it is, that's not that good of news. Another person breathing down his neck. But at least Rogue could handle that one.]

If you intend to take the rest of your little arts and crafts club with you, I'd be happy to hold your tools whilst you work.

[housepartyprotocol]

[ Taking one look at the video feed and bristling. ]

Oh you have got to be kidding me.

video

[resnipstance]

[Tony Stark, meet very obviously alien girl. It's hard to tell, but she looks possibly like she might be in her late teen years? Also, like she's super unimpressed.]

Do you even know the first thing about spaceships? Or space? [Is this the first time Tony's ever been condescended to by a teenager?]

For starters, how were you even going to get home if you don't know where in space you are? Space is massive. Do you even know how to work the nav-computer? It's not like these ships are equipped with any sort of hyper-drive. If you went in the wrong direction, you'd run out of fuel long before you reached another habitable planet. [She tsks.] Honestly.

[housepartyprotocol]

[ Grinning, Tony sits back in his chair. He'd be annoyed if he weren't impressed. It's also a good thing he already knows there are beings in the universe other than humans, or this might be very weird. ]

Sounds like you have some experience with the subject.

video;

[geonomy]

[Oh. It's Tony -

Aaaand it sounds like he doesn't remember anything about this place. Clay debates actually talking to him; he's already turned on the video to greet him under the assumption that he remembered being a part of his crew, but...

Well. He's already got the video on, soooo - ]

Uh - Hey, welcome aboard! You got the rundown so far?

[housepartyprotocol]

'Rundown' is a generous term. Lots of 'what', not enough 'why'.

[Video]

[goldenglasses]

Can- can I make a request that you don't mess with anything that is keeping anyone from being sucked out into the empty vacuum of space, please?

[Not that he REALLY thinks Tony would do something like that, but then again, he doesn't know Tony at all either.]

[housepartyprotocol]

You realize I am also in this ship. No one is getting sucked into space.

Video

[tallasaking]

[Now here is someone Tyrion wishes to know.]

Can you actually accomplish this and can you teach others?

[housepartyprotocol]

A) Who knows. I've cracked alien tech before. And B) Depends. Most people can't keep up.

video;

[enshields]

[Welp. He's keeping a weather eye on what he can see of those other conversations, but--]

Stark.

[Just that. Note the poker face.]

[housepartyprotocol]

[ Giving him a skeptical look at such an unenthusiastic greeting. It's been a strange day. Who knows what version of Steve this could be. ]

Cap.

[ It comes out sounding a little like a question. ]

Video

[notmutantbutmiracle]

I see we can always count on you to have a genius plan up your sleeve.

[Her voice oozing with obvious sarcasm. Yet, there's a hint that she's actually a bit happy to see a familiar face. Even if it is Tony Stark's.]

Welcome back Stark.

[housepartyprotocol]

Clearing that one up early, this is the first time I've been here. Looks like I'm in the Alternate Timeline club. Or maybe Alternate Universe. Anyone's guess.