driftfleet | * It's time to FIGHT.

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* It's time to FIGHT.

Who: Undyne and whoever!
Broadcast: Yes
Action: on the Marsiva
When: pre-Shuffle

[video;]

[Today there's a blue fish lady onscreen. She ROARS and slams a conjured lance through the nearest table, splitting it in half. Poor hospitality deck, it never asked for this. She grabs the spear and looks at the console with a discerning yellow eye. The other eye is covered by an eyepatch and a bit of red hair.]

No one captures me. Not unless they have a DEATH WISH!

[She brandishes her spear with a twirl and shoves it solidly into the floor. Her grin shows jagged sharky teeth, and it nearly splits her face in half. Is she making you uneasy? Good.]

It's been a while since I had a real fight. Come out of hiding, cowards! I'll show you why I was made captain of the Royal Guard!

[A captain in... a muscle tank and skinny jeans, sure. Whatever.]

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[She doesn't even blink at the conjured lance or the... fish part, honestly. She seems more amused, all things considered.]

... Sorry, but unfortunately, the ones in charge have been in hiding for a very long time. We've never seen them in person. If you want to take them out when we finally do find them, you'll have to get in line.

Oh. Well... [There's a moment of uncertainty, and then she finds her bearings.] That's fine! I can wait in line. I'm a civilized person, dang it!

[She looks at the damage she's done. And then, defiantly, she kicks over the remnants of the table.]

So what's with the screen? If you're not the one who kidnapped me I'm not gonna hurt you.

[she approves of destroying the atroma's property]

The short version is, you're on a ship I can't get to. You'll be moved to a different ship in a few days.

You've been... basically kidnapped to be on a really stupid reality TV show. Or so the kidnappers tell us, but I don't really buy it.

[She makes a face like she just ate a lemon.]

Oh my god. Reality TV? [She groans.] I never asked for this. That weird robot's show was bad enough. I have places to go! People to be with!

Does it at least have puzzles or something in it? Bad guys? Am I even getting PAID?

Yeah, we all do. And I've been here for half a year now, and a few have been here even longer.

Fuck, I wish there were decent puzzles here. Or monsters to fight, but no, it's mostly just dull as fuck, with brief periods of terrible things happening. And yes, you're being paid.

I've actually written up a guide for new people, let me send that over.

[She's attaching a link to the guide and sending it.]

[She opens the attachment.] Okay, give me a minute, this is a lot to read. [... Her expression goes from annoyed to worse the further she goes. At some point she gets frustrated and exits out.]

I didn't know space was so much like Earth. I thought there would be more giant robots and alien invasions? And girls in bikinis?

I wouldn't mind seeing girls in bikinis, but you're a few stops too late for that. And we're already basically in an alien invasion in reverse.

You're from Earth?

Yeah. I'm from the Underground, but we were let out just a little while ago. I've only been on the surface for a few weeks.

[She points dramatically for no reason.]

But!! I've read all your human history books and I've watched your animes, and I have to say I'm EXTREMELY disappointed with the lack of giant swords. I like your food though, and your beaches, and your huge rooms with GIANT SCREENS and speakers so loud you can barely hear the person next to you! My friend had a big screen that we'd watch things on, too, but it wasn't the same.

Sorry, I've never been to Earth, so I'm not entirely sure what you're talking about. I'm not impressed with that place either, to be honest. But I didn't know Earth had merfolk- I always heard it was only humans.

Oh, really? There's humans on other worlds? That's... kind of cool... Did you migrate there or something?

[did any monsters come with you...?]

Well, of course you never heard about monsters. The humans sealed us away a long time ago. There was a war.

It's complicated. As far as I know, humans have always been on my world. But everyone here is from different worlds, most of them seem to be from some variant of Earth. And mostly humans. Which is really weird. [says the human.]

A... war? With monsters?

[WHY DOES SHE KEEP HEARING ABOUT NOTHING BUT WAR LATELY]

Humans must have a lot of children.

[Strangely enough, she's not wrong.]

Yeah. I think the humans started it? I don't think anyone remembers the details. Or cares.

[That's just you, Undyne.]

What brought that on?

[that's.... getting weird looks though.]

You're talking like you're a monster, though.

If there's humans everywhere, they probably have a lot of kids and... ship them off somewhere? You know, like in that one show-- they couldn't live on Earth anymore for some reason so they moved to some other world? I-I don't know, I'm not the human expert! I just like cool weapons!

[... And then Nightingale gets the weirdest look.]

... That's because I am?

No, we're originally native to my planet. It's weird, and thinking about it too hard gives me a headache.

[what the fuck, though]

I guess... my world must have a very different definition of monster.

Okay, yeah, that's weird.

[INDEED.]

Humans are kind of pink, sometimes, and they have round ears and eyes like you. They sure don't have these! [She points at her ear-fins.] Or these. [She grins wide and shows off her big ol' shark teeth.] Or THESE. [She points at her scales, clearly visible on her skin.]

At least, not the ones I've seen.

[Completely deadpan:] Really, I'd never noticed that humans didn't have those.

Where I'm from, there are people who aren't humans- elves, merfolk, and the beast tribes. But those still aren't monsters. Monsters are things that are formed with no purpose but trying to kill people. I guess it's different where you're from.

Huh... As far as I know, humans just decide everything that isn't a human is a monster. Or at least, they did before. Like I said, I'm not some kind of human expert.

[She rubs at her chin.]

Different worlds, different... whatever, I guess.

Yeah. It's kind of interesting.

I'm Nightingale, by the way.

All this different worlds crap gives me a headache.

[She smiles a bit.] Nice to meet you! My name's Undyne.

Isn't a nightingale some kind of bird?

It only gets more confusing from here.

It's nice to meet you, too.

It is. It's kind of a long story, but everyone on my team is named for birds.

[Her interest piques somewhat.]

Your team?

Yeah. Like I said, long story.

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* It's time to FIGHT.

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