Windrose, where the wind blows

[tothefly]

Who: Windrose crew and you, distinguished visitors!
Broadcast: Naaah.
Action: Windrose, various points in the near vicinity
When: Until we get off this frozen rock

[On New Year's Day, the crew on board the Windrose and those nearby may notice the chill as the doors to the cargo bay are left open, and their captain making quite a bit of noise as she inspects their newly expanded home away from home. This is likely to go on for a while. Feel free to come investigate, chat among yourselves, complain about the cold, etc!]

Comments

[truthvalue]

His name was Seito. My uncle's partner, Adachi - he was Traveling with us for a while, too. The Inaba he came from was different, and the Seta he knew was called Seito. My face, just a different name.

[He smiles thinly, thinking about what it means that he has so many different names in different worlds, where everyone else's names are the same.]

He killed a lot of people, I'm told, but I don't think Namatame was one of them, because he was the one putting people inside the TV World to be killed, not Namatame. He killed a lot of my friends ... Yosuke, and Chie Satonaka, and many others.

[It's unsettling to think that someone who was a version of him, even with a different name, could be so cold, so callous. But Souji remembers what the other Seta said to him once, when they'd first met, when he'd asked how to address him and suggested Seta-kun: Doesn't that seem a little cold, all things considered?

Maybe he's a colder person than he ever realized.

Souji brushes away those troubling thoughts in favor of focusing on what Natasha says instead, about stopping Namatame, about his death being justified in the end.]

That's about the same thing my uncle said to me, right before I left Inaba.

[If there was evil in the world that had to be dealt with, but no one would step up to see justice done, it might fall to the closest person at hand to bear the burden of punishing them. Don't you think?

Yeah ... maybe so. Souji nods, thin-lipped at the memory, swallowing hard in preparation to make his confession. Natasha will understand; he's sure of it.]

He never asked me about it directly, but ... I think he knew what we did, after Namatame turned up dead in the same way as the others. There were only so many people who knew about the existence of the TV World. And he's a good detective. But ... it had to be done. So no one else would lose someone they loved the way we lost Nanako.

[Still leaning over the counter, Souji brings his hands up to rest the heels of his palms at his forehead, fingers pushing up through his hair. His heart hammers loudly in his chest, echoing in his ears. It's the first time he's spoken to anyone about this since it happened, and he can't tell if he feels better for having given the deed form with words. He's silent for a few shaky breaths, then says, quieter:]

I guess sometimes there are no good options.

[tothefly]

[Names are a fluid thing. Not a good way to really describe a person; she's worn them before like she wears a suit, pulling it on and taking it off with ease. Names are easily changed, erased. Actions are the only true identity. Actions leave deeper marks. And his actions she understands. Maybe that other Seta thought he was doing the right thing, too. Maybe there was no good option for him.

But that Seta isn't this one, and this one she likes almost despite herself; likes, or at least recognizes something familiar in him, something that she can call to and that responds in return. So she reaches out one hand as he squeezes his eyes shut, pushes fingers roughly through his hair. Rests a hand on his shoulder, fingers squeezing slightly.]

We all do what we have to. And we all carry that weight in our own way. You're right. Sometimes there are no good options. But you made your choice. There isn't anything wrong about that.

[truthvalue]

[She's right; he knows she's right. He made a choice, and it's over and done, no way to go back and change it, even if he wanted to, which he doesn't. There were no good options, but he picked the best of the bad. Souji pulls his head out of his hands and turns his head to Natasha, a grateful, subdued smile on his face. He reaches up and lightly covers her hand on his shoulder with his own.]

Thank you ... I haven't talked about this with anyone since it happened. I guess maybe I needed to.

[And he laughs quietly; it's the exact sort of thing people have said to him, over and over again, not just during the year in Inaba, but for as long as he can remember. He's always been considered a good listener, someone trustworthy in whom to confide secrets or ask advice. Now he sees what it's like being on the other end of it, and he's doubly grateful to Natasha for it.]

[tothefly]

[The decision was what it was. She carries her own decisions, acknowledges the results both bad and good. That's all you can do, ultimately; carry your choices with you and use them to determine your future. She thinks that, maybe, he's got a few more choices of his own ahead of him.]

I'm a good listener.

[There's a faint wry humor to the words, an allusion to her previous position before the augment swap. Her fingers tighten again, briefly, and after a moment she extracts her hand, taking a deep breath.]

If you ever need to talk about it, I can listen. I know what it's like.

[That could be a generalization, but he might get the feeling that she means it literally. Maybe because she does.]

[truthvalue]

[Life is a series of choices: join basketball or soccer club; spend time studying with one friend or quietly talk things over in the diner with another; push a man into the TV World or let the police deal with him instead. Different weights and different outcomes but the mechanics, in theory, are the same. Souji knows this.]

You are. [He nods, and stands up straight again; his heavy burden is lighter for having been shared with Natasha.]

Thank you ... I know we don't know each other very well, but you've been sort of like a senpai to me. And I appreciate it.

[tothefly]

[There's a brief flicker of surprise on her face as he says the word, but not the kind that usually comes with incomprehension. She knows the word. No one's ever used it or any other lingual equivalent on her before.]

I don't know that I'm the kind of person anyone should be looking to as a mentor. But...you're welcome. For whatever it is I've done.

[truthvalue]

You've been a good listener.

[And that means a lot to Souji. He's usually the one doing the listening; people don't often offer to hear what he has to say.]

[tothefly]

I try.

[She's always got her ears open; never know what useful thing you'll learn. But there are a few people that she listens to for more than just information. He's one of them.]