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(no subject)

Who: Obi-Wan Kenobi and You
Broadcast: Video
Action: Hospitality Deck - Marsiva
When: January 2nd

[ Obi-Wan is no stranger to waking up to unknown locations, but this seemed odd . . . even for him. He gropes for his lightsaber . . . which is gone, obviously. He huffs, before straightening himself and brushing his hair back. Communications . . . communications . . . ah, there it is.

A video feed. Somewhat archaic, but it'll do. He doubts anyone from the Republic will be nearby, but perhaps the locals will offer some aid. Obi-Wan clears his throat before speaking. It's time for his other skill set to come in use. ]

Greetings. My name is General Kenobi. To whom do I have the pleasure of addressing? And I don't suppose there is someone willing to answer my questions? Because I have a great deal many of them.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm a mage with a ton of money, you'd be surprised at what I can get.

I hope so. I'm not good at that sort of thing. I got a fair bit out of them, though.

I tend to be fairly decent at negotiations, at least.

[ It's modest. They call him the Negotiator, for ending battles without weapons. ]

Very well. I'll need a Kaiburr crystal. The rest of the materials, I can manage.

That's good, but I think we are well past 'negotiations'.

... You equip crystals?

I'm not so sure.

In a manner of speaking. They're an integral part of the weapon I use, the lightsaber.

I can think of a couple of different things that could be a 'lightsaber'. Do you mean lightweight blade or laser sword?

Laser makes it a little more crude, but I suppose it's not inaccurate.

You're getting up close and hacking at shit with a sword. It's 'crude' no matter what it's made out of.

I don't know if they sell them on the planet, but one of the guys in the Fleet has one of those. Look for a kid with black hair. His name's Kirito.

[ He chuckles ]

Not this sword. A lightsaber is more than capable of deflecting blasts. But I imagine it's something you need to see to believe it.

Kirito. I will remember that.

If a blast is able to be deflected, then the one doing it was incompetent.

He's pretty nice, it probably won't take you long to find him.

I'll pass on the message.

[ He could care less. ]

Message?

To the people shooting at me. I'm sure they'll love to hear about their incompetence.

If you can talk to them, they're definitely incompetent.

There's always some time tucked away for banter. Deadly rivals and whatnot.

[ At least every main villain Obi-Wan ever talks to and somehow allow him to talk. ]

Your rivals need a serious talking to about efficiency.

Perhaps. I'm hardly the one to do it. If they ever do appear, I'll direct them to you.

Sorry, I'll pass, I have enough rivals as it is.

Is that so? How did you manage that?

[ In Obi-Wan's case, he's the General of an army, infamous for his techniques. ]

[She has to pause for a minute, thinking how to summarize.]

By making out with a vampire in front of her boyfriend as a distraction tactic?

That . . . would do the trick.

[ Even though that sounds like something out of a teenage drama. ]

My issues with rivals tend to be a tad bit deadlier.

[She shrugs.

The teenage drama only gets more... teenage drama from there, honestly.]

I've got a few of those, too, but I figure once they've killed me a couple of times, they get moved up to 'enemy'.

I beg your pardon, a "couple of times"?

Twice, yes. Maybe three times, but I'm not actually sure if that first one counted.

I find it usually counts if you lack a pulse.

How did you come back?

Well... Coming back from death was normal in my world, so I'm not counting those.

But at my last interdimensional shithole, the beings who killed us brought us back afterwards. Either because it was the rules, or so they could do it again later.