✔ video ; action.

[airraid]

Who: some asshole joker.
Broadcast: video; fleetwide.
Action: the marsiva.
When: RIGHT NOW.

( BROADCAST ♦ if this is a hangover, i gotta stop drinking. )

( oh. this is – this is bad.

it takes him a second – maybe two, maybe more than that – to knock the fuzz out of his head ( and to realize that, at some point during his slumber, his hat had fallen off into the floor ), and sit upright on his cot, surveying his surroundings with the kind of scrutiny that comes from one too many nights spent trying to drink a krogan under the table and losing. normally, when he passes out drunk he wakes up in the same place he'd gone to sleep in or, at the very least, some universally familiar place that he can track from where he'd started.

this is neither of those things. and he's not all that happy about it.

it takes one look out those giant, crystal clear windows for him to come to the conclusion that yes, he's still in space, but no, he is most certainly not on the normandy, and you know what one thing has to happen for this one to lose his cool? take him away from his ship. and his commander. and –

he's so miffed and angry about this situation that he fumbles with his comm unit for a second – this isn't an omni-tool, what the hell!? – and while you all might have been watching from the very beginning, the audience is about to get a face full of beard and green eyes. ) Okay. I don't know what's going on here, but whoever's behind this has about two seconds before I –

( joker. you don't have anything you can possibly hope to threaten anyone with. a point which is made abundantly clear when he briefly checks his person and finds not only is he lacking his alliance uniform, he's lacking in pretty much everything. there's a small stretch of silence, and he huffs, decides to try again. )

Never mind, I'll let you ruminate on what I'm gonna do. Makes for a better threat that way. ( s i g h. you know, somewhere, shepard is thinking this is a riot, and who let you out of the cockpit, huh? ) Anyway –

Somebody wanna clue me in on where I am? 'Cause last time I checked, the Normandy doesn't have anything like this – ( waving an arm emphatically to encompass his surroundings, mhm ) – and I know my lady inside and out. This ain't her.

( an even smaller stretch of silence, and he drums fingers against his thigh when no immediate answer comes. ) Uh, I'm waiting. I don't know about you guys, but some of us have a war to get back to.

( ACTION ♦ at least this isn't watching buttons flash. )

( you know. just in case you want to run into him after he's squawked angrily at the network, had some time to cool down and is now meandering about the hospitality deck. checking things out. looking at the screens, out the windows … and basically being a grumpy piece of trash because he misses his ship. and shep.

he isn't in ship-shep shape.

this is a disaster. )

Comments

[maschinenpistole]

From my home, I think they could have pulled more interesting people than me, personally.

[ Whoa hold up. Her eyes go a little wide. ]

Eh? End of the universe? Really?

[airraid]

( whoa, way to not give yourself any credit there, chickadee. )

Don't sell yourself short, huh? You seem plenty interesting to me. ( so far. that's viable, right? )

Oh, yeah. We're just fighting an entire race of ancient machines.

[maschinenpistole]

Ahh, thank you! But am I reality show interesting? I have friends who are much more dramatic.

[ Juri. Hime. Touka. Hime. Kyousuke, especially in the presence of Akina. .... Hime. ]

Oh, is that all! [ She mimics his "nbd man" kind of tone with a small grin. ] So the ancient machines want to end the whole universe? Too many kids on their space lawn?

[airraid]

( somewhere, kyousuke is grinding his teeth.

have a wink! ) Dunno, maybe stick with me and we'll see how interesting it gets? ( jOKER. )

Y'know, we all thought it was because they wanted to rule it all. Maybe that's it. ( snort. ) But I've never seen 'em in rocking chairs ... and you know, that's an integral part of yelling at kids to get off your space lawn.

[maschinenpistole]

[ Oh geez, boy! She just griiiins, amused~ ]

Rocking chairs, and canes for shaking! Mm, how would a rocking chair work on a space lawn? Would it just float in zero-g? I guess that's like rocking. [ Beat. ] Very aimless rocking!

[airraid]

( where has this conversation gone and when did it get so out of control ... ) Maybe it's a motorized rocking chair that rocks for you?

( why.

why is this happening. )

[maschinenpistole]

Ah, yes! Keeps perfect rocking trajectory, even in the deepest of space.

[ Who knows why this is happening. But it's happening. And Kotoha is very amused by it all. ]

[airraid]

( right now, he'll take the nonsense conversation over dwelling on the fact that he shouldn't be here. because you know what comes of that? brooding. and nobody wants a brooding joker. no one deserves that. )

If this hasn't already been invented, we need to get on that. The credits would just rooooll in.

[maschinenpistole]

Especially with all the free advertising we'd get just by being on space reality TV! Maybe they'll get jealous enough to send us back home.

[ Thumbs up!! And a smile. ]

So, business partner! I'm Kotoha. What's your name?

[airraid]

... Or they'll think we'll bring in even more the longer we're here and never let us leave.

( talk about space hotel california. hopefully minus the being dead part. )

Joker. ( and a winning sort of grin from his end. ) How long have you been here, anyway? You seem really well-adjusted.