005 - Will you do the fandango

[onlyanapple]

Who: Crowley and you!
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Iskaulit
When: Today!

[The Fleet will be greeted with the blasting noise of that song he got for Christmas, you know the one. If you don't, now you do. You're welcome. The screen flickers on to show the interior of the Iskaulit. Specifically, a brand new bar.

Everything is black and metalic, sleek and modern. Neon lights of blues and greens offer some light. This place screams fancy. It's even got a pretentious name, the word 'Málum' in red above the bar proper. It's an inside joke.

Crowley turns the device to grin at the audience.]

So, Varric may have started up his quaint little shithole but I'm here to offer you an alternative. After all "I might get a disease from one of these chairs" isn't what some people are looking for in a watering hole.

Open til late, free shot with every pitcher, yadda yadda, come and drink your troubles away. Enjoy our jukebox with songs from...whatever the fuck is on the network. Sorry if it's shite. That's just standard jukebox fare, if we're being honest.

Let's drink our bullshit troubles away.

[[OOC: And from this point on, Málum is a location you can use! If your character wants a handwaved job, they're welcome to it. The more people, the less Crowley has to work for himself and he does love less work.

Comments

[dancingmd]

Well...

[She turns back towards the bar, setting the glass down. It wasn't too bad, all things considered - she's no Guinan after all.]

Just don't start getting a big head about it. [But she gives him a good natured smirk.]

[onlyanapple]

[He flashes her a sharp-toothed grin. ]

Me? Get a big head? Never! I'm the picture of restraint and decency.

[dancingmd]

Oh certainly. Your modesty is renowned throughout the fleet. Throughout the galaxy even.

[She looks down at her glass. Hmm.]

Ready for the Starduster next? I'll let you drink this one, promise.

[onlyanapple]

Of course it is. They sing songs about it in my honour and everything.

[He grins, hell yes, show him all the drinks, Beverly. ALL OF THEM. ]

Won't see me stopping you.

[dancingmd]

[Maybe not all of them - there are a lot of drinks out there in the universe - but she's happy to oblige him with this one at least. The Starduster is a light pink drink, much thicker and sweeter than the Finagle's Folly. Once she's finished making it, she slides it over to him.]

So? What do you think? Won't have quite the right flavor without the jacarine, so I'm open to suggestions, if you have any.

[onlyanapple]

Oooh, looks a little like a daiquiri.

[Beverly you are his current favourite, good job. He'll take a sip and nods. ]

If you're not careful, I'll poach you from the Blue Fish to work here.

[dancingmd]

[Beverly raises a skeptical eyebrow, her tone wry.]

Don’t flatter yourself... your charms won’t work so easily on me.

[Which, all right, okay, she is willing to admit that he's charming. But even if she were to seriously consider the offer, there’s no way she’s chancing aggravating Tek further. Something tells her he would not appreciate her and Crowley working together in close contact every day.]

[onlyanapple]

[He raises a finger. ]

Ah, but you can admit that I do have charms.

[dancingmd]

Well.

[Her mouth quirks.]

Maybe just a few.

[onlyanapple]

[He gives a long-suffering sigh. ]

I suppose I can live with 'just a few'.

[dancingmd]

[She laughs and picks up her glass again, using it to gesture towards him in a little toast before taking a drink. When she sets it down again she asks:]

So I take it you're satisfied then?

[onlyanapple]

[He mimics the action with a smirk. ]

Oh, absolutely. Thanks, I owe you one.

[dancingmd]

[She waggles her eyebrows.]

I'll be holding you to that.

[onlyanapple]

Oh, of that I have no doubt.

[dancingmd]

[That gets another little smirk before she adopts a more professional expression.]

In all seriousness, though - [She pulls a piece of paper out of her pocket and slides it over to him.] - I think Allen might have a small heart attack if I just gave you things for free.

[She'll never agree to charge for medical care, but on this? She can be persuaded. On the paper is written a simple enough agreement, scrupulously fair in its demands. She's not out to stick it to Crowley, only wants to make sure she can keep paying for the supplies to make the synthehol.]

[onlyanapple]

[That makes him laugh.]

I know Allen well enough to not want to be on the business end of his bookkeeping. I can live with that. How'd you want it, credits or patched through to the Blue Fish's account?

[dancingmd]

You can just send it through to the Blue Fish's account. [She smiles.] I trust Allen will know what to do with it.

[onlyanapple]

[He'll pocket it with a smile.]

Can do, and trust me, Allen knows how to balance books. You ever want a fun and terrible story? Ask him about his debt in Paradisa.

[dancingmd]

Now why do I have the feeling that's something Allen would very specifically not want me asking, hmm?

[onlyanapple]

Because it haunted him for all his years there. It's why he had to join the Host Club.

[dancingmd]

[So she's not one to go digging into people's personal history, especially after the calibrations, but her curiosity gets the better of her, alas.]

.... what's the Host Club?

[onlyanapple]

It was a group of men in the castle, who hired themselves out to be...um escorts to anyone who had the right price. Nothing underhanded, of course. But still. They paid well, from what I understand.

[dancingmd]

Oh.

[Beverly blinks. That's... not the answer she was expecting, though she can't really say what she thought it was going to be.]

Poor Allen.

[onlyanapple]

It wasn't a terrible place, don't get me wrong. It was run by an idiot who lived in some weird...fantasy land in his own head. Made a hamster bed out of wallpaper once.

Still, it was fairly humiliating for Allen.

[dancingmd]

I'm sure it was.

Which is why I'm not going to go ask him about it.