/takes the huntress out back and buries it (jan mingle pt. II)

[scrubscrub]

Who: Anyone on the SS Huntress! Crew and visitors.
Broadcast: N/A
Action: SS Huntress
When: More of January! We got three new crew mates and it will be messy.

IT'S ANOTHER MINGLE FOR OUR EVER-EXPANDING SHIP.

Also, we need an update on how well Koala is doing at pinball.

God, help this ship.

Comments

[nerdeology]

[He's already regretting this decision a little. Fishy features on a humanoid body? This woman... she looks like a hellion. A lot like a hellion. And the fact that she can see him only makes him more cautious. The only thing that's stopping him from bailing and getting Sorey over here ASAP is that he can't sense any malevolence.

It's pretty jarring.]

I never said I was human.

[CAUTIOUS, SO CAUTIOUS.]

[fishwife]

[She leaaaaaaans in, grinning with all her sharky teeth.]

You're short, cute, pinkish, and don't eat enough. What else could you be?

[nerdeology]

[He doesn't like where this is going. And those teeth are terrifying.]

I'm a seraph.

[AND HE WILL RUN THE HECK AWAY IF YOU SO MUCH AS LICK YOUR LIPS, HE'S NOT GETTING EATEN TODAY]

[fishwife]

[SHE DOESN'T EAT HUMANS WTF??? She's not spiderbitch!!]

What, like an angel? [The only angel she's aware of is the angel of death. Which he definitely doesn't look like.] I thought angels had wings.

[nerdeology]

[LOOK IT'S HARD TO GET OVER THE HELLION-THING

And really? Really? This again...]

Not that kind of seraph.

[fishwife]

[She slips her hands in her pockets, thankfully giving him his space back.]

So what's the difference?

[nerdeology]

No wings, for one.

[He's not all that familiar with angels, since the only one he can ever recall hearing about was a hellion, but apparently they're called seraphs in other worlds? Weird.

Whatever. When it doubt, go by what history's taught them:]

"Things which cannot be seen or explained, such as gods, spirits, or supernatural phenomena are revered by the people as seraphim." Some here have called me a ghost, but that's wrong. A spirit is... closer, I suppose.

[fishwife]

I noticed. [She wants to pick him up and look at him and it'd be SO EASY but the last time she did that, someone started crying. So maybe not.]

Nah, you're not a ghost. That'd make you a monster, like me. [It's said without any trace of meanness; obviously it's a designation and not an insult on her world.]

Do seraphim eat?

[nerdeology]

[...Monster, huh. Looking at her, that isn't a surprise, but she's so nonchalant about it. Are hellions and monsters two different things, then? He still can't sense anything, but there have been those who can suppress it...]

We do sometimes. It isn't required to stay alive, though.

[fishwife]

[She seems genuine, if a bit... intense.]

If you feel the urge, I made some spaghetti. It's in the fridge. [She jerks a thumb in the direction of the kitchen.] It isn't weaponized this time.

[nerdeology]

[Wait, what]

Why would spaghetti be weaponized?

[fishwife]

Too much cayenne? [She shrugs.]

[nerdeology]

[Good grief.]

How do you cook here? I've never seen equipment like this before.

[Stoves are fine and all, but where do you light the fire??]

[fishwife]

Oh, you're a bumpkin! Here, let me show you.

[She reaches over to one of the many knobs on it... and turns it all the way up.

The burner promptly bursts into flame.]

Easy as pie.

[nerdeology]

[OH MY GOD HOW]

Wh- that's dangerous!!

[He lifts his hand, summoning an arte, and water splashes all over the stove, replacing the fire with a puff of black smoke.]

[fishwife]

Hey! Was that really necessary?

[Undyne turns the oven off with another spin of the knob, so that the steam will abate.]

At least you can control the amount of fire this way. It's safer than an open fire! [A pause.] As long as you don't cook something too long, that is.

[nerdeology]

The stove was on fire. How was it not necessary!?

[And this is their cook!? How are any of the humans still alive...]

[fishwife]

It's supposed to do that! That's how it cooks! I had it handled, anyway.

[A very good question.]

[nerdeology]

If you use a fire like that then the food will get burned!

[SHE'S WORSE THAN SOREY WHAT THE HECK]

[fishwife]

Are you sure? Sometimes it just cooks faster.

[oh my god.]

[nerdeology]

It doesn't-

[HRRRGHHHHHH. This person is a trial already.]

Faster does not equal better.

[fishwife]

[She considers... and then she lifts her hands in a gesture of surrender.]

All right, fine. Why don't you show me how it's done?