driftfleet | (no subject)

Who: A ~mysterious anonymous poster~ and you
Broadcast: Anonymous text
Action: In her room on the Bishop, if you really want to say hello
When:

[It's taken Nightingale a while to figure out how to make the anonymous text function work, and even longer to decide it's worthwhile to post. Still, she doesn't have anything else to do, and this has been eating at her for a while...]

I realized recently it's been over a year since I was last home. Over a year since I've ever seen anyone from my world, even. And that year has been kind of a mess. Now I'm two crazy worlds removed from home, and it's not looking like I'll get to go back anytime soon. It's just now really starting to sink in. I'm starting to get homesick, I guess. But I know there's a bunch of people here who have been here even longer than I have. Or have a lot more pressing things to get back to. So... How do you cope? How can you deal with this for so long? After this long, my usual distractions aren't really working so well anymore.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Just to clarify, are you suggesting walks to take my mind off it, or was that a metaphor? That's a good way to go about it, at least. But it's not so easy to convince myself that.

Ah- mostly a metaphor. But I do go on literal walks when I'm stressed!

I know...it takes some time to be able to.

Just checking. How long did it take you to get used to it?

A few years, give or take.

But that may have been because I'm stubborn.

So, it's not looking good for me, then.

Ha- I take it you're stubborn too?

That's putting it a bit charitably, but yes.

I see...

Well honestly, there is no one way for people to cope. Some people decide to forget their home life completely and move on, others spend years looking for a way back. And most find something in the middle.

You just have to find what's best for you.

I kind of wish sleeping until I get home again was an option. If I was capable of figuring out what's best for me, I probably wouldn't even be here in the first place. How long has it been, for you?

You wouldn't want to do that. Only a loser would sleep the entire time they were exploring other worlds. [Like Nea...]

Me? It's been eight years since I've been home.

Pretty sure I fit all the criteria for 'loser' already, so I might as well. Do you ever worry that you'll meet someone from your home again, and they won't even recognize you?

I wish.

You wish?

Well it's a long story, but I haven't exactly aged since I've left home...when I was 16.

Age wasn't quite what I meant.

Oh, so you mean in a general sense?

[A pause]

No, I haven't worried about that. It's...pointless to worry about that. No matter what you do, people change, after all. It'd be absurd if I kept trying to be just how I was when I was 16 for someone else's sake.

Pointless, huh... You're not wrong. But it's still hard to make myself believe it. You're really strong, aren't you? Mentally.

Ah...I don't really think so.

I just want to live. So I keep going. That's all there is to it.

That's strong. I sure can't do that.

Yes you can!

You're alive now aren't you?

Undead, if we want to get technical, I think.

That doesn't matter. It means you're still here, choosing to live. That's important!

You're just trying to find ways to belittle yourself. Stop that.

If it was as easy as stopping just because I was told to, I wouldn't really be having these problems.

See, there you go again. Trying to argue so you don't have to change.

Changing is hard, I know it is. But it's even harder if you try to fight against it every step of the way.

I don't know how to do anything else. I know that sounds like another excuse. And a shitty, cliched one on top of that. But I really don't.

(no subject)

save_the_souls - 2016-02-02 19:54 (UTC) - Expand

experiencepoints - 2016-02-02 20:05 (UTC) - Expand

save_the_souls - 2016-02-02 20:09 (UTC) - Expand

experiencepoints - 2016-02-02 20:25 (UTC) - Expand

save_the_souls - 2016-02-02 20:28 (UTC) - Expand