driftfleet | (no subject)

Who: Obi-Wan Kenobi
Broadcast: Text
Action: Iskaulit
When: Jan 30th

A: TEXT

I think it's time I retire from teaching for a while.

I don't suppose anyone knows a decent way to pass the time?

B: ACTION

[ When Stefan announced the prayer room, a quiet place for meditation, Obi-Wan had been thrilled. While he enjoyed and cared for the Huntress, quiet is not something they are known for. After talking to Anakin, he knew he was in dire need of quiet and inner peace

He does not regret ( he can not regret )

And yet.

In a way he had envisioned as a child, it had always been Master and Padawan, together. Even when separate, they fought together, learned together, believed in each other. But Qui-Gon died all too soon, and for so long, Obi-Wan threw his hands up against tradition. When Yoda told him to be Anakin's master, he chose to be Anakin's friend. He did not caution against attachment, only warned where it might lead.

He breathes heavily, his legs folded on the mat. It's not working. The Force is still too quiet, too alien at this moment. It doesn't understand his sorrow.

Obi-Wan chuckles, opening his eyes and pushing his hair back. It should be used to that by now.

Looking down at his hands, he's quiet when he speaks. ]

Please help me.

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I would not say refuse. I suppose I am the one who is refusing to let go.

[ And that's ironic. ]

Whatever caused you pain must've been very important to you.

[Possibly more important than anything else he's had to push away, if he's so conflicted]

Letting go is important, but sometimes...some things need a bit of time before they're ready to be released.

Think of it this way...if a Jedi were to get a serious wound, they'd require rest and time to heal before they're ready to go back to their duties, wouldn't they?

[ He scoffs lightly, with dry amusement. He's always been terrible with healers, preferring to be back on his feet as soon as possible. ]

Normally, I don't. But I see your logic. Giving myself some time to process all of . . . this will help me overcome it.

Ah, you're one of those types of patients.

[He says it with some amusement. He knows that type very well]

But yes, exactly. A heart doesn't heal overnight when the hurt is severe enough. Pretending it can could just make it worse. [Neglected or repressed feelings tend to fester after all] But if you acknowledge that it takes time and take slow steps towards letting it go, little by little...then I'm sure the Force will be there to help you along the way, even if it's not always easy to tell that it is.

Unfortunately.

[ Cheeky. He's not going to feel bad about it. ]

The Force has never . . . let me down, so to speak. It is my guide, though rarely my helper.

Ha-

Surely it's helped you in some ways.

It's difficult to say for sure. I simply know that I follow the Force. Whether it rewards me or not is not part of the bargain we made.

[ For Obi-Wan, there is only the Force. He is its vessel, its guiding light. The questions of why and how do not plague him.

It was only this time that he feels bereft and the Force is not giving him an answer. ]

I see. Sounds like a tough doctrine to follow.

[He doesn't say it critically in the slightest. In fact, there's a bit of awe in his voice. Not many people are willing to be devout to a faith that is well, that rough and ungiving. So the fact that Obi-wan is only having slight difficulties now is incredible]

You must be quite strong.

I believe that's debatable.

[ He certainly won't say it. Though he's principled and knows he could never fall to the Dark, he has been through harrowing moments in his life that have pushed him to the brink. ]

And if it is . . . it is worth it, to be touched by the Force.