driftfleet | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

Who: Obi-Wan Kenobi
Broadcast: Text
Action: Iskaulit
When: Jan 30th

A: TEXT

I think it's time I retire from teaching for a while.

I don't suppose anyone knows a decent way to pass the time?

B: ACTION

[ When Stefan announced the prayer room, a quiet place for meditation, Obi-Wan had been thrilled. While he enjoyed and cared for the Huntress, quiet is not something they are known for. After talking to Anakin, he knew he was in dire need of quiet and inner peace

He does not regret ( he can not regret )

And yet.

In a way he had envisioned as a child, it had always been Master and Padawan, together. Even when separate, they fought together, learned together, believed in each other. But Qui-Gon died all too soon, and for so long, Obi-Wan threw his hands up against tradition. When Yoda told him to be Anakin's master, he chose to be Anakin's friend. He did not caution against attachment, only warned where it might lead.

He breathes heavily, his legs folded on the mat. It's not working. The Force is still too quiet, too alien at this moment. It doesn't understand his sorrow.

Obi-Wan chuckles, opening his eyes and pushing his hair back. It should be used to that by now.

Looking down at his hands, he's quiet when he speaks. ]

Please help me.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It wasn't much of a prayer.

[ The Force doesn't speak the way most people would expect. There are no words, simply a instinct driven by the power of the universe that comes into you. For the longest time, Obi-Wan has simply let the Force guide him. Perhaps, he considers ruefully, was his problem. He can't always expect the Force to solve his problems. ]

I guess I was pleading a little. Very uncharacteristic of me.

Ah. Well, everyone needs a little help now and then.

[Stefan gives a sympathetic smile as he nudges the tea selection Obi Wan's way. The way he looks at it, God - or the Force, or whatever a person may believe in - can only help those who help themselves, and it felt like Obi Wan had been doing plenty of the latter.]

[ He takes it gratefully. If his arms tremble, he's composed enough to ignore it. ]

Yes. But I believe the help I'm looking for won't come from the Force. It'll need to come from myself.

[ He needs to reconcile his feelings. His doubt. His fears. All the siren calls of the dark. He was not made to change, to bend his ways. He was of the Light. And now he must be something else if he intends to continue on this path. ]

[gently:] Perhaps. Or... maybe it could come from you and the people around you.

[The Force. Like Vima's and Anakin's Force? Stefan files that bit of information away for now.]

Can't say I'm familiar with your tradition, but whenever Allah subḥānahū wa-taʿālā was quiet, I realized the answers I needed? They were with my friends all along.

[ Stefan, are you teaching Obi-Wan about the magic of friendship?

As it stands, Obi-Wan isn't sure what to make of that conclusion. ]

Normally, if the Jedi Council were here, I'd ask them. But generally, Jedi do not have a . . . habit of making friends.

[ Yoda would have known. Would have struck his cane against the floor, saying, No more attachments, Obi-Wan! No more! and Obi-Wan would have understood, would have let the heartsickness seep away, would have followed the correct path . . . would have understood.

Friends, though . . . his friends were light years away. Anakin and Ahsoka would see his methods as too rigid, too unwilling to bend.

( those times when he did would not have mattered )

All he wants right now is the Force. His one constant. ]

They don't?

[That wasn't quite the answer he was expecting. Stefan's far from an expert on friendship - honestly, Salvatore was bad at it. Salvatore was also on the road to hell, so Stefan's life philosophy has been "avoid what Salvatore would do."

But... a life without friends. Even for Stefan, that's almost unthinkable. So he manages a smile and holds out his tea, like he's about to make a toast.]

Well. I wish I'd known that a few months ago, because I was starting to think of you as one.

Well. Not on record. Jedi shy away from attachments. It tends to be a double-edged sword for us.

[ It leaves you open to temptation, to wanting, to fear of loss. Obi-Wan has experienced them all. ]

I doubt I would make a superlative friend. I barely manage with the ones I do have.

Oh. [That makes a lot of sense, actually. Not that Stefan's ever thought about friendship as a double-edged sword.] Would you still be alright in making them?

[He can't exactly insist upon the power of friendship if it goes against religious or cultural beliefs, after all.]

Because to me, it doesn't matter if you're a great friend or not. It's about being with each other and enjoying each other's company.

I certainly do not mind.

[ Though he's not sure where this is coming from. He does understand friendship and knows how it works, but he rarely makes them in . . . a situation so normal or calm.

Then again, it's better than being trapped on a mining facility. ]

I'm just a little surprised by your overture.

How come? Because I don't seem like the type?

[He's totally making a joke at his own expense. Stefan and friendship aren't often in the same sentence, and probably for good reason.]

I don't know. I didn't have a ton of friends back home, and I regret that now, so... I guess I'm making up for it here.

I don't think there is a type.

[ He softens a little at that. Sometimes, he forgets how difficult other people have it. ]

Taking advantage of what we have here is a wise decision. Though, still a little strange to me.

It kinda does. I want to get home as much as the next guy, but right now, I don't see how I'd accomplish that.

[He's not exactly resigned to his fate. Stefan's not even close to giving up, but the longer he stays here, the more he wonders what game Beau & Diamond are up to.]

If we can learn to rely on each other, though, we might have a better shot than if we went at it alone.

I'm not alone.

[ And yet he feels alone. Anakin and Ahsoka have outgrown him, the Jedi Order may fall in the future and even though it appears there is a place for him among the Skywalkers and Han, Obi-Wan doesn't feel comfortable there. ]

And I've never been good at relying on others. It's a bad habit, I know. I've always had the Order.

[ The Jedi were never really alone.

But here he is. A Jedi, displaced. A Jedi, alone.

They never taught him that. ]

[Right, he's Ahsoka's teacher. Probably knows Anakin and Vima, if Stefan thought to ask him about it...

A lot less alone than Stefan, even if Stefan has Elena around.]

You could always rebuild your Order. [Note to self: Ask Vima if that's even possible. Ask Vima a LOT of things about the Jedi later too.]

I'm sorry, I shouldn't assume things about your world, but... if it's possible, it might be worth a shot.

I could. But it wouldn't be my Order. It wouldn't be my family.

And . . . I'm the relic of the past. Someone else should rebuild it.

[ Because it had problems. Obi-Wan is self-aware to notice them around him. Ahsoka leaving was one he fought hard on, but could not forestall. ]

So... it wouldn't be your Order even if you were in charge of it?

[Stefan furrows his brow. He's missing more than a few of the pieces here, and he's not sure to begin asking for the rest.]

I--Nevermind. I'm sure someone else could, in time.

I certainly can't be in charge of the Jedi Order. No, it's not -- it's best to be left to someone else. A Jedi with new training. New ideas.

[ Even though he's a Jedi Master and he sits on the Jedi Council, Obi-Wan recoils at the thought of being a Grandmaster to a new Order. ]

[Maybe the Order isn't a religion but a whole lifestyle? Like Buddhism?]

Makes sense. [It doesn't, but he won't press the issue further.] I'm sorry. I shouldn't have suggested it.

[ He shakes his head lightly, dismissive. ]

You couldn't have known. It cannot be me. That's not my role.

Then what do you think your role is? [He presses his lips together.] If you're okay with answering that.

I . . . don't know.

[ And that's the crux of it. He's spent so long being Anakin's teacher, and in a way, Ahsoka's teacher than he doesn't know how to stop. ]

[Oh. No wonder he'd asked for help.]

We'll figure it out. Everyone's got their proper place, and... [He admits, like it's a big secret (it isn't)] I was actually just thinking I'd need someone to help me out with the Center.

Help you how exactly?

[ Obi-Wan certainly doesn't want to jump into teaching. At least, not so soon. ]

Little things. A second opinion on what passage I should read at services, or making sure Ahsoka has everything she needs for meditation, or restocking the tea at night...

[He shrugs] I like the work, but it's not exactly a one-man job.

[ Obi-Wan looks away briefly. He doesn't trust himself. But he couldn't turn away someone who asks for his help. ]

I would be honoured. If you're sure.

(no subject)

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

/slides in really really late

<3 no worries

❤!

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)