driftfleet | second; text

[ He actually just stares at him for a moment. ]

I don't understand.

What isn't there to understand? I mean-- if you speak bluntly, you're bound to annoy people, and if you annoy them too much, they won't-- they'll eventually stop wanting to be near you.

Hm.

You're more selfish than I expected you to be. [ There it is again, that bluntness. ] No, that isn't something that concerns me. I wouldn't get attached to someone faster than they would realize what my personality is like. If it scares them away then I'll just remain on my own.

[Remus has many flaws, and he's aware of some of them-- but selfishness isn't something anyone has ever accused him of before. Self-pity, of course, and being a stupid martyr, but never selfishness. He's caught between indignance and honest confusion, because it isn't insulting if it's not true.]

Selfish?

You didn't ask me if I was afraid of hurting people important to me, you immediately jumped to how I would feel about it and how it would affect me.

Are you kind to other people for their sakes or because you want them to like you so that you aren't alone?

[Well, both, frankly, and with that comes both a rush of embarrassment and irritation. Selfish . . . is it selfish, to be so self-aware of his friends, of what makes them happy and when to keep silent when he has something to say that won't go well?]

I suppose both.

[He'd lie, except he thinks Sasuke would call him out on it and he'd feel all the worse.]

Mostly the former, I believe. And I'm kind to my friends because I love them. But I won't say I never bite my tongue to make them happy.

[ That severe exterior is working as an effective bluff, then, because he is pretty terrible at telling when someone is lying straight to his face. ]

Strange. I don't hold my tongue around either of the people that matter to me. [ Either. Meaning there are only two. Perhaps he could include Kakashi on that list, or the other members of Taka, but those bonds still aren't comparable to growing up with Naruto and Sakura... Naruto especially. ]

They're both idiots; I have no desire to let them forget that. Neither of them are here, however -- [ as of this post ] -- and that can't be helped.

I don't know. I suppose different friends call for different reactions.

[Sirius has his faults, but he's no idiot. Still, Remus is glad to latch on to the other topic of conversation:]

I'm sorry, by the by. It can't be easy, to be on your own. I know I'm glad for James and Lily.

I don't have much experience with that. [ With having friends in general, honestly, and it's genuinely just an honest statement rather than anything self-pitying. It's not like he's doing any work to cultivate friendships so you get out of it what you put into it. ]

Your apology isn't necessary; I'm accustomed to how things are. Who are James and Lily?

James is one of my closest friends from home. He'd come before I did. He was the first to figure out what I was, all those years ago-- I've known him since we were eleven. Lily is also from our school, a very nice woman I know a . . . little less well.

[He knows his Lily, twenty-one and brash, mother of one, but this is not her. This is a far younger version, safe and protected and a little suspicious of James.]

I see. So they're your comrades. [ Old classmates, people he grew up with... It's a familiar story, anyway, and gives Sasuke better perspective. ]

You're lucky to have them, especially since I assume they're also dragged into your war in your world.

[He nods.]

They're both incredible in the field. Or they will be, anyway. They're both far younger than I am.

[Three to four years, and it feels like an eternity.]

You are older than you seem to be.

[ Is this a compliment or an insult... ] The only person here that shares my home world is considerably older than me, however, so I feel that unevenness in reverse.

[Well, he does have grey in his hair. He'll just . . . take it as neither.]

How much older?

Seven years, it seems.

[ A lot. ]

Have they told you anything of your future?

[ His future needs to remain under wraps forever, tyvm. ]

No, she's spent seven years away from our home and has aged in that way. I was the one that needed to tell her how our war ended.

Is that-- sorry, seven years traveling in your world and away from home, or bouncing around from world to world?

[ Imagining Ino defecting from Konoha is so ludicrous that his mind hadn't even considered that possibility, and he actually chides himself. ]

From world to world. She speaks most often of Paradisa, if you've heard of it.

I have.

[Briefly, and he hasn't much heard of it, but he nods.]

God. I've spent four months here and I don't know how much longer I can stand it. I can't imagine seven years.

I suppose it depends on the number of your attachments. She had plenty but was able to foster new friendships in other places quickly as well.

... though already the cultural differences are also a pain.

How so?

[His mouth twitches despite himself, somewhat amused.]

Beyond not being able to fight everyone.

It's difficult to explain a lot of things about my world and about what we're taught as shinobi. I'm not gentle, friendly, or likable, so it leads to more conflicts than I want to deal with.

[ That bluntness will never let up. ]

... don't smirk about it; I can see you.

I'm not smirking, I'm smiling. It's a fascinating conversation we're having, I can't help but smile.

[That's not even trying to be a convincing lie.]

Are you taught to be blunt, or is that more you? Wizards aren't taught to be anything, beyond what minimal emotional control I mentioned, but that's more growing up than anything.

...

"A shinobi must always put the mission first. A shinobi must never show their tears. A shinobi must see the hidden meanings within the hidden meanings. A shinobi must follow their commander's instructions. A shinobi must prepare before it is too late to. A shinobi must never show any weakness."

[ He recites the rules like it's nothing, like he'd just learned them yesterday instead of nearly a decade ago. ]

Still, it's more me.

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