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[thebarkside]

Who: Jade Harley
Broadcast: Fleetwide!
Action: N/A
When: Today.

i havent been the most social person in the world since getting here, but i feel like i really dont know anyone anymore :T so.........

hello!!
my name is jade, and im a pilot on the wonderduck
i have cool spacey powers from home and handy plant growth powers leftover from the time i spent in asgard
aaand i am probably pretty excited to meet you!!

(there we go
its your turn now :p)

Comments

[feathery]

do you even have to ask
all youve done since instating yourself as first mate is instigate mutiny after mutiny
its amazing anyone still has a rank at all

[thebarkside]

it helps that i forget to tell people
mutiny attempts are very effective when its just me vs you
not when im trying to keep you from kicking me out of your room

[feathery]

you say that like i try to kick you out that often
but no i know a quest in futility when i see one
even if i tricked you into chasing a frisbee into the hall youd just teleport back inside after i closed the door

quit picking your nose davesprite

[thebarkside]

im so glad there arent a lot of frisbees in space

cant stop wont stop

[feathery]

i could probably make one by now
maybe
it might take me a couple tries but its a fucking piece of plastic how hard could it be

[thebarkside]

i wonder if i could teach newton to fetch a frisbee

[feathery]

he already fetches socks
might as well give him a new outlet before he starts fetching the ships wiring or something equally likely to make us go spiraling into a black hole at an inopportune moment

[thebarkside]

hey!!! i am a way better pilot than that
we never went spiraling into any black holes on the way to the new session, did we?
and that ship didnt even HAVE wiring

[feathery]

yeah see thats exactly my point
your lizardfox is a thousand times more likely to cause a massive technical failure
not even miss universe could save us then

[thebarkside]

well, its a good thing that you are the captain then!!
i am sure you will save us from our inevitable fox-caused tailspin to our fiery deaths

[feathery]

i dunno
sounds like a lot of effort
i might just take a nap instead

[thebarkside]

you are useless, davesprite
did you know that

[feathery]

do you even have to ask
what else am i here for if not letting everyone else bask in my presence and consequently look exponentially more useful by comparison
i cant even pretend to be a nice glow in the dark hat stand anymore
no interior decorator worth their salt would install a birdsprite with legs

[thebarkside]

do you know how hard it makes teasing you when youre just self-deprecating 150% of the time

1/3

[feathery]

no
how hard is it
like 150% hard

[feathery]

wait fuck

[feathery]

thats not what i meant to type
or not what i meant at all
oh my god
pretend that didnt happen

[thebarkside]

oh im sorry
did you mean to send that to isaac

[feathery]

why would i send that to isaac
i didnt even mean to send it to you
or i did
but
fuck
god dammit thats not pretending it didnt happen

[thebarkside]

thank you davesprite c:
all i wanted was some ammo to tease you with!!!!
and you were there
eager to provide

[feathery]

im not eager to provide anything let alone accidental lewd innuendo
wait until you trip up jade see if i show you any mercy then

[thebarkside]

pshhh good luck you will just have to keep waiting!!!
clearly every word i ever say is very carefully thought-out and calculated

[feathery]

its true
some days theres so much math in all of your sentences i gotta bust out a calculator
just look at those exclamation marks i cant even deal with all the factorial operations theyve got going on

[thebarkside]

davesprite
shhhhhhh

[feathery]

you besmirch my honor and then you shoosh me
will the indignities ever end