driftfleet | (no subject)

Do you lie about your space taxes, too?

[ he shrugs a little, slouching in his chair. ] Blender problems, yeah. But who needs a blender in space anyway. We only have gel and powder, not much to blend! Seriously it's pre-chewed already.

Edited (I SUCK LIKE A THOUSAND DYING SUNS SOBS) 2016-03-17 04:16 (UTC)

[Davesprite wrinkles his nose a little as he chucks Isaac's paper ball back at his face.]

Don't fucking remind me.

[But he sets the camera down and slumps back in his chair, staring out the main bridge window.]

You looked at the network lately.

I think we might have some meat left, if you're actually hungry. Freezer burn is great. I would know.

[ god one day he'll stop making stupid, dry comments about his past. one day! he actually lets the paper ball hit him, however, and plucks it up, toying with it afterward. ]

Not really, I mean. Some of those messages are so long. Why? Something good happen?

Yeah, yeah. And I can write you a ten-page treatise on getting jumped by a sword-wielding douchebag at three AM.

[His tone is so dry, dry ice is probably wetter than this. But he pulls out his communicator.]

Someone gave augment removal a shot. ["Someone" being a goddamn princess from a franchise of totemic pop culture importance.] Doesn't sound like it worked out too hot.

[He holds the device out to Isaac, flipped to the text on this post.]

Whoa, guess we probably shouldn't give it a shot. I mean -- I heal, though. Maybe if you get it out completely it won't have any side effects. But I dunno how this stuff works.

[ it could be brain surgery after all, and he has to be honest -- Dave as his wing man (haha) for augment removal does sound like a bad idea. but que sera sera, right? ]

Is it messy, you think?

Probably. The rationale for their test subject was "healing capacity", [he doesn't bother with air quotes, just uses his inflection and a look to substitute for them] so you can kiss your singular selling point goodbye.

[He's just gonna let Isaac have the communicator if he wants it. Don't Facebook any strangers under his name, bro.]

Use some tongue, because it's not coming back.

I don't know, I heal pretty fast, though.

[ not that he's actually committed to trying. but he takes the communicator and skims over the post. he frowns seeing the results either way. ] Well that doesn't sound good. But I'll just go ahead and tell everyone on the fleet how much you love birds. Maybe make some mating call sounds so you can get a bird girlfriend.

[ he takes everything very seriously, and even pretends to be clicking around on the communicator, though he's not actually doing anything at all. ] But if we can't get the augments out, I guess we're stuck here even longer than we thought.

[Davesprite responds with a noncommittal sound. He would throw a thing at Isaac, but he already used up the paper ball and his communicator.

So he's just gonna yank the chair out from under Isaac with its own shadow.]

[ RUDE, DAVESPRITE!!

Isaac obviously has no idea it's coming and falls backward comically, his feet tumbling over his head from their place propped on the station desk. he hits the floor with a loud, solid, satisfying sound.

he is bewildered and unhappy. ]

What the -- who is -- how did you do that? [ he's assuming, he doesn't actually have proof that Davesprite did anything. ]

[Davesprite leans over in his chair to look at Isaac, one hand resting on the control board.]

Nice. [He's not even gloating.

Well, no, acknowledging Isaac's embarrassing situation—even with less relish than Davesprite thinks it deserves—probably counts as gloating.]

Would have given you a higher score if you introduced your face to the plate tile, but you get a seven out of ten for form and sound effects.

[ Isaac remains on the floor, trying to ignore the light stinging at his back when his legs finally right themselves. ]

How did you do it. I know you did it, didn't you? It's not some weird space ship ghost, its just you. Bird ghost thing. Whatever you are.

[ there's little conviction in his words, his hands gesturing lazily. whoops, looks like the communicator got thrown across the room. he sits up slowly. ] That was not cool, Bird Dave.

[He doesn't look bothered at all about the communicator. It's a piece of shit, anyway, and he can grab it later.]

The only thing here that isn't cool is you.

[He sits up and goes back to fucking with the camera, satisfied that Isaac isn't injured and the prank was totally fucking worth it. Is he explaining? No. No, he is fucking not.]

Anyway, I've got no idea what you're talking about. All I saw was a tool get dumped out of a chair sick of pretending it's a toolbox. It's moved on to better employment opportunities. Say cheese.

[He snaps another picture.]

Edited 2016-03-21 06:52 (UTC)

[ Isaac should really ask for more information. despite Davepsrite's self proclaimed ignorance, he knows his friend has something to do with what happened. if he didn't, then they really should worry that the ship is becoming sentient. ]

Right so you have nothing to do with -- will you put that thing away? Who gave you that? It's going to disappear, you know.

[ and by disappear, Isaac is going to take it and hide it for eternity. he finally sits up though and rights his chair again so he can sit like a civilized human being. ]

Let me see it. [ he holds out his hand expectantly. ]

[And Davesprite holds the camera away from him, expression clearly saying "no".]

Why, so you can dismantle it? I don't fucking think so.

Yeah I don't think I could dismantle it if I tried. I want to take a picture. Give it.

[ whats yours is mine and what's mine is yours. isn't that how these two operate? no? maybe? what good friends. ]

Dude, seriously.

What are you gonna take a picture of.

[Looking at you mistrustfully, bro.]

Does it actually matter?

[ he's getting impatient, his foot tapping the ground a little. ] Just let me see the thing. I'm not going to break it. [ and maybe Isaac reaches out to just take it from Davesprite next. ]

[And Davesprite lets him, though it gets Isaac a disgruntled look for his trouble.

Fine. Take the camera. See if he cares!]

You break it, you owe me the credits for a replacement.

[ he takes the camera, looks it over, and snaps a badly framed photo of Davesprite. ]

You're not getting this back, just so you know. The flash is annoying.

[And Davesprite reflexively puts up a hand to block his face.]

I don't even use the flash half the time. You're being an oversensitive douche.

[He reaches out to grab the picture.]

[ Isaac swipes at the picture, but too late. Bird Dave wins again. ]

Dude. [ he'll just snap another one annoyingly close to Davesprite's face. ] What do you even do with these pictures? You don't have some weird shrine or something in your room, do you?

[Davesprite holds the picture up between him and the camera's flash, too late to stop it from going off in his face.]

Hey. [Again, he reaches for the camera. Just. Extra blindly this time.]

That doesn't even make sense. You just saw my room yesterday.

Yeah but you hide stuff, don't you? I mean it's like the time I sat down and almost impaled myself because you like to hide sharp swords under your blankets and stuff. You and Octavia need to work on that.

[ no, really. swords in beds, knives falling out of linen cupboards. sharp things hidden in soft places? no. no, no, no. ]

So, I don't know with you, Birdman.

That's practical storage.

[Ok, but for real, the camera. He blinks the spots out of his eyes and grabs for it again.]

Come on. What are you even going to do with it, hawk your nonexistent sick photo skills on the street?

Right, whatever, I heal it's not like it's a big deal. But you know. Uh. Pain? Pain sucks.

[ but whatever, he's just gonna pull it out of Davesprite's reach again if he can, but he's slower on the uptake this time. ]

Yeah, better than having this thing shoved in my face at every corner.