driftfleet | third; text/action

Who: Uchiha Sasuke+victims
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: S.S. Huntress
When: Now

[text]

I have thins to say. [ Many, many thins. ]

Violence is normal. And that's not all. If your perception of your own relaity involves limitations stopping your goals... alter that perception. Don't make an excuse. Don't be nice about it. Just change reality.

And I fixed one of those blenders. And I'm not as weird as people think I am. Fuck you all.

[ Really, there are three people to blame for this utter travesty. One of them is Sasuke himself, obviously. One is Obi-Wan, who'd supplied the alcohol that had gotten Sasuke into this state. The last one is Ino, who thought challenging Sasuke to drink would be a fantastic idea. ]

[action]

[ He can be found in various places on the Huntress and in varying stages of inebriation. Trying and failing to cook something edible? Check. Lying in his room staring at the ceiling in the dark? Check. Still in Obi-Wan's room challenging either Ino or the Jedi to an arm-wrestling contest? Probably.

This is what happens when you've never drunk before and weigh approximately nothing. ]

[closed to Ino and Obi-Wan]

I'll take another drink when I finish this text. [ So he says to Obi-Wan and Ino while staring intensely at his communicator, clearly thinking the rambling of an absolutely insane seventeen-year-old is something the fleet needs to be subjected to right this minute.

Also, he can't even remember whose turn it is. Or what the rules are. Or if they're still playing a game that isn't just 'get drunk and die in a ditch'. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Hmm.

I don't suppose I could convince you to visit a place called Westeros, could I?

[He could use a man with an open scope of mind like this.]

[ ... if you look closely enough, Tyrion, you may see the gears in his drunk brain actually turning as he tries to conjure an answer. Never mind that the camera is prone to random jostling in his current state. ]

Could I find answers about government there?

[ How Not To Rule, by Lannisters, Targaryens et. all. ]

[Tyrion rubbed his chin thoughtfully, before his lips twitched slightly.]

Oh, you could find answers on just about every single kind of ancient government you could think of.

...

Very well.

[ He is so drunk and that was way too easy. Let's go. ]

Excellent. As soon as we go home, you can come with me.

[A bright smile. Like anyone was going to let that happen.]

[ This is one of the worst ideas anyone in Drift Fleet has ever had. ]

What's in it for you?

I get to watch my sister run about in terror at someone competent.

[Which honestly is always enough reward for him to do anything.]

[ You know Tyrion has finally lost his last bit of sanity when 'competent' is how he describes a person that's made a post like this. ]

So you want me to solve your familial dispute. Will that involve death?

[If Sasuke ever visited Westeros, he would realize that 'competent' means not dying within a year. Tyrion Lannister is, at this point, the king of competence for that alone.]

Yes, but only my sister's. My brother should only be maimed.

[Beyond that, this was all happy fantasy. Happy, happy fantasy.]

[ He'll be too busy commiserating with said brother over loss of limbs/hands. ]

... why is it that you want her dead?

....have you ever known someone so evil that they are, in fact, exuding it just by breathing the air? That is my sister Cersei.

[ Let him think that over. ]

Right. I understand. Unsalvageable?

Oh, absolutely.

[Tyrion waved his hand.] She would do anything to keep power. Anything.

Sounds like you have a legitimate problem on your hands, then.

Thus why I am willing to throw anything at her that will throw her off her particularly vicious game, so I can get all my pieces into play before she knows what is happening.

Right. [ There is a considerable drunken pause. ]

I can do that pretty easily. But I prefer to meet people and make sure they really need to die before I kill them.

All right, but I'm warning you, she will leave you twisting in the wind before you realize what is happening.

third; text/action

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