driftfleet | →001← accidental video

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→001← accidental video

Who: Roxas
Broadcast: Fleet-wide, accidental.
Action: Deck of the Tourist
When: 1/24 - as the shuffle sets in

[The feed cuts in to the arrival fanfare. The feed watches a blond boy lay on the floor of the Tourist, covered in confetti, asleep with his face in the plate of celebratory pudding.

The fanfare does not wake him.

The pudding does not wake him.

Someone should probably wake him.]

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[ riku knows all the 'if's, the 'but's. he wants to say that it wasn't, because dooming roxas to essentially play backdrop to sora as his 'missing piece'. as much as he loves sora, and he does love him, he can't... just condemn roxas like that. it doesn't feel right. it didn't back then, and it doesn't now.

so when riku looks at roxas, it's haltingly, and he turns away from him, a bitter taste in his mouth. riku doesn't want to, but he knows facts. and the fact is... ]

Probably. I don't... I know you were on your way to face Xemnas, but--I don't think you could've won. [ his voice is considerably softer when he speaks, like he doesn't want to say it. ] Sora would've stayed asleep if I hadn't, but--

[ and then, he shakes his head firmly. ] That doesn't mean what I did was right at all.

[Roxas is quiet for several seconds once Riku finishes speaking, and the frustration visibly starts to drain from him, shoulders first. His gaze drops to the floor while the answer sinks in. He won't argue with him about whether it was right--he doesn't think it was, either. Even if it was their best option... But still. From what it sounds like, Sora had more to live for than he did, anyway.

[But his questions aren't all answered...

[He looks up at Riku, and this time there's something a touch more frightened there.]

... Do you know if I disappeared forever? Axel... He got his human body back, with his heart and everything... But I was separate from Sora. I never remembered his life. I never remembered anybody's life.

[ the guilt eases off of his shoulders for a moment--it's not crushing anymore, a flicker of hope in him as he flickers his eyes up and down roxas before he shakes his head. ]

I don't think you did. I dove into Sora's heart, and you were there, all of yourself. It's not like you dissolved, like sugar into lemonade. You're there. I think...

[ hm. ] I hope we can get you your own body, so you and Lea can be friends again. I think you have a heart, but maybe it's not with you. Sora held Kairi's heart for a while, so...

... So if I have a heart, it might... not even be mine?

[He knows he can feel. That's what all of this has to be. At least he knows he won't disappear--that they still know him, that he's still there, even if it's... like being trapped.]

[ he shakes his head and takes a step forward, before sharply taking it back. no. he doesn't want to make roxas feel apprehensive. ]

No--I think your heart is with someone else.

... Someone other than Sora?

[Okay now he just looks confused. What the fuck is our canon, Riku.]

[ he makes a noise and runs both hands through his hair, exasperated. ]

I know, I know--it sounds crazy. But I didn't believe that you guys didn't have hearts anyway, and you guys ended up having hearts after all. Maybe if I hope hard enough that something's true...

[ that sounds so flimsy. he sighs heavily. ]

I don't know what to think. The guy who planned all this, he can travel through time! I didn't even think that was possible.

... [Putting a hand on his temple.] Maybe I'm better off sitting in Sora's heart and not having to think about this mess.

[ there's a helpless laugh then, and riku stop suddenly, surprised by the outburst before he settles himself down. ]

It's... probably safer.

... But it's not right.

[He sighs, shaking his head.]

Can you make me a promise, Riku? If you do, I'll... forget what happened.

[ riku shakes his head along with roxas, agreeing. it's not right.

he hesitates for a good moment, wondering what it may be. ]

Tell me what it is, before I agree. I don't... make promises I can't keep.

... I want you to do everything you can to get me out of there. I want to help. I don't want to just... be stuck inside of Sora. Even if I'm part of him... I'm me.

[He's sure to word it so that as failure is still an option. He just wants to know someone is going to do everything in their power.]

[ there's no hesitation, now. ]

Of course. [ the confusion in his face lightens to understanding. ] I was... kind of planning on doing that anyway.

... But now you've promised it.

[His voice cracks, just a little. The wear and tear is starting to show.]

I don't wanna be angry. I was mad at Axel, but he doesn't remember lying to me. I was mad at Sora because no matter what I do, he's always hanging over my head, but... I met him, now. That's not his fault. And I was mad at you... but you did what you had to. If that means I have to sit it out for a while... then that's just what it means, I guess.

[He shakes his head, slowly.]

I just want to be me. And that "me" doesn't want to be angry at everybody he knows. Just the ones who keep forcing everybody else's hands.

[ honest surprise covers riku's face.

he doesn't want to be angry? riku's fine with that, he would never force roxas to be, but he can't understand it. he'll always be angry at himself, angry at what lead up to this and how helpless he had been to just let this happen. he hates feeling helpless. he hated doing this.

he wants to forge his own path now. he understands, roxas' need to be himself. riku nods, quiet. ]

That's... Master Xehanort.

But that's a long story.

Xehanort...

[He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.]

That's where I'll put it, then. All this anger. I know that's what it is... I know I can feel. There's so much of it... [Another breath.]

But it won't be... at you. It can't matter to me what you did then. You didn't want to do it--if you did, you wouldn't have made that promise. So that's what matters, now.

[ the surprise doesn't go away, just partnered with confusion. ]

I... just like that? [ he wants to say, we almost rewrote you! or something like that--roxas hadn't been treated fairly at all, even when he was in the simulation, but roxas is the one calling the shots. he deflates, not sure where he stands. ]

I guess I don't understand.

I'm still me. You're willing to do everything you can to make sure that stays true. If you guys need me in the future, why should I stay mad about this now? If Sora needs me... If Axel needs me, I have to look at that.

[ riku's face lightens its confusion, but it's still there, underlying. ]

A--alright. [ he should accept this. it's hard not to look surprised by this, though. he's certainly hating himself for all of this--roxas not doing so is so far out of left field, riku's not sure what to do. ]

[Roxas stares at him for a second, noting the way he's acting.]

... Look. I don't disappear, Sora wakes up, Axel gets his heart back... Things could have gone worse. Plus, whatever happened, you don't look like a sheppdog anymore.

[ ... sigh, hands on his hips. ]

Old warriors used to wear their hair long if they shamed their people, and they cut it when they finished atoning for their mistakes. [ almost as if to illustrate the point, one of riku's hands finds the clipped ends of his hair, and there's a thoughtful look in his eye. ] I'm done atoning, I'm moving forward now.

[ he crosses his arms, and shakes his head. ] Besides, who're you to talk--you look like you got a swirlie and your hair's stuck that way.

[He crosses his arms right back.]

Wow, it's not like I style it like this.

Are you telling me you just wake up and it's like that? No way. You've gotta hold it up with gel or something.

I don't even own a hairbrush.

... Axel needs to take you shopping first thing.

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