003 ;;

[reconstitution]

Who: Winter & You
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: The Iskaulit
When: 3/20

[ Text ]

How does everyone deal with loss? How much of an impact is it meant to have?

Similar. Unrelated. Is anyone familiar with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder? I would like to know more.

[ Action >> Iskaulit ]

[ If you happen to be on the Iskaulit at any time in the wee hours of the morning, between two and six, you may run into Winter utilizing the gym. There aren't really posted hours, and that's usually when no one else is around.

The poor sandbags that he helped Jim hang all those months ago are getting a beating. Winter's focus is zeroed in on the same worn spot, but apparently something gives. Winter reels his left arm back, a high metallic whine the only warning before he lands a blow. It's enough force that not only does it knock the sandbag from its hook, but it goes flying across the room like it's nothing.

Emotional? Who's emotional? Nobody here. Mind your business! ]

[ Action >> Heron ]

[ Winter may have been restless before, but without Jim, this is something new entirely. Crew have been coming and going regularly over the past few months, but this is different. The Atroma decided that he should be captain? Over someone who would probably be more capable at it. He sees what you did there. You just couldn't pass up the chance to not have to change names in the roster, huh?

He's trying to wrap his head around it. Sure, he led teams on missions as the Winter Soldier, but that was different. He wasn't really calling the shots. Being Captain is new and scary and leaves room for so much to go wrong.

If anyone wants to bother him, or happens to be visiting, he is more than likely roaming the halls trying to burn off the nervous energy. He's comfortable with the ship, but now he wants to know it inside and out. As if he hadn't already done that. Honestly, he is distraught without Jim and doesn't know how to handle it. It's not as if he can talk to Natasha about it, either. Or Steve.

The message is more than clear- don't get attached. ]

Comments

text

[resnipstance]

I try to do something in that person's honour. Something that would make them proud.

What's Post Traumatic Stress Disorder? I haven't heard of it. But maybe it goes by something different in my universe.

text

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I'm trying to figure out what that would be.

From my understanding, it's something common in soldiers or people who have experienced terrible things. I think it used to be called... battle fatigue?

[resnipstance]

Well I can't tell you the answer to that for obvious reasons, but you can tell me about them? If you want. Maybe it'll help you figure it out.

Oh. Hmmm. Nope, it's not ringing any bells. Common in soldiers, you say? That's weird.

[reconstitution]

You know him, too. Or I thought you did. I could be wrong.

[ It's a few minutes before the second text comes through. ]

Jim is gone.

[resnipstance]

Wait-- Jim is?

As in James Barnes?

[Text does not convey the upset that would be present in her voice if they were talking.]

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My brother. Yes.

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I didn't know...

I'm sorry.

I'm not sure if we were close, but... he always reminded me of someone I am close to.

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He left two days ago.

[ Nothing's been the same since. ]

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He didn't even leave a note?

Rude.

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I don't think he expected to leave.

..I could be wrong.

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... Mm. Yeah.

[It's a few moments before her next reply, but then:]

Apple pie.

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..What?

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You said you were still trying to figure out what to do in memory of Jim, right?

When I saw his-- his dream landscape, I guess you could call it? Back when all those so-called "calibrations" were going on. When I saw it, there was an area that smelled like apple pie. I think it was the place for his good memories, maybe.

So, let's make an apple pie.

[reconstitution]

We don't have apples.

[resnipstance]

Well-- we could get some. You never know. Maybe someone bought some while we were on the Starlight. I know I stocked up my ship with all the frozen meat I could get my hands on. We could trade!

[reconstitution]

I don't really know the recipe. I only helped with parts of it.

We could trade.

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Well now you're just making excuses. I mean, I don't know it either, but SOMEONE has to. Or maybe the Atroma have it in the media library!

Where there's a will there's a way.

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Jim knew it. Steve knew it. They're both gone.

Maybe..It's possible he wrote it down.

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... Are you saying we should rifle through their stuff?

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No.

Jim left me a journal. He wrote down important memories. From our past.

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Oh! ... That's ... actually really sweet.

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I'm glad I'll be able to remember them. If I forget.

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Why would you forget...?

[reconstitution]

There's a lot I can't remember. Or have trouble remembering.

[resnipstance]

... Oh. I'm sorry to hear it.

[She gets the sense that maybe asking more questions down that road won't lead to happy things.]

By the way. I don't think I ever introduced myself properly. I'm Ahsoka.