driftfleet | 003 ;;

Who: Winter & You
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: The Iskaulit
When: 3/20

[ Text ]

How does everyone deal with loss? How much of an impact is it meant to have?

Similar. Unrelated. Is anyone familiar with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder? I would like to know more.

[ Action >> Iskaulit ]

[ If you happen to be on the Iskaulit at any time in the wee hours of the morning, between two and six, you may run into Winter utilizing the gym. There aren't really posted hours, and that's usually when no one else is around.

The poor sandbags that he helped Jim hang all those months ago are getting a beating. Winter's focus is zeroed in on the same worn spot, but apparently something gives. Winter reels his left arm back, a high metallic whine the only warning before he lands a blow. It's enough force that not only does it knock the sandbag from its hook, but it goes flying across the room like it's nothing.

Emotional? Who's emotional? Nobody here. Mind your business! ]

[ Action >> Heron ]

[ Winter may have been restless before, but without Jim, this is something new entirely. Crew have been coming and going regularly over the past few months, but this is different. The Atroma decided that he should be captain? Over someone who would probably be more capable at it. He sees what you did there. You just couldn't pass up the chance to not have to change names in the roster, huh?

He's trying to wrap his head around it. Sure, he led teams on missions as the Winter Soldier, but that was different. He wasn't really calling the shots. Being Captain is new and scary and leaves room for so much to go wrong.

If anyone wants to bother him, or happens to be visiting, he is more than likely roaming the halls trying to burn off the nervous energy. He's comfortable with the ship, but now he wants to know it inside and out. ~~As if he hadn't already done that.~~ Honestly, he is distraught without Jim and doesn't know how to handle it. It's not as if he can talk to Natasha about it, either. Or Steve.

The message is more than clear- don't get attached. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ He flexes his fingers, his jaw clenching. He doesn't know why Howard rubs him the wrong way. They knew each other. Back in the war, being on the same team is enough. Jim's words rattle around in his head, but he shakes them away.

He was friends with Steve. Friends with Peggy. Friends with Bucky. Maybe that's what has him so keyed up.. He honestly doesn't fucking know, right now. He's too conflicted. Can't compartmentalize right now with everything being so raw. ]

Because the alcohol won't do it for me? [ You reek, Howard. And your habits are just as shitty as his. ]

No... [ it's defensive, maybe even a little self-conscious. he hadn't meant to get drunk, but as always he had anyway. he banks on knowing this man -- or their once acquaintence -- but he doesn't really, and he sees that clearly now. he doesn't need this man to trust him, he doesn't even think he wants that. but it would be nice not to be at this tense an impasse every time they run into one another. ]

Fine. If you want to hit me so bad, just make it quick. [ he opens out his arms and looks to bucky with steely determination. you want someone to hit? he's here. ]

[ All it takes for Winter to surge at Howard is the open invitation to hit him. With possibly more speed than Howard is expecting, he crosses the room, arm cocked back, absolutely intending to cave his face in with that metal fist. He even swings, but stops just shy of Howard's nose.

His expression remains stony, but all his emotions feel ready to boil over. He's angry- angry that the Atroma decided to take Jim, Natasha, and Steve. Disappointed that there was no closure or chance to get to know Natasha or salvage what tattered remains there were of his friendship with Steve. Heartbroken that his best friend and the one person who has been there since he showed up to the Fleet alone--

The person responsible for him being a person..

It's too fucking much to deal with. Immediately, he slams those steel walls back into place and takes a few steps away from Howard, dropping his arm to his side. ]

I don't do that anymore.

[ oh god oh god oh god. howard doesn't flinch, because he's already closed his eyes. he's drunk enough that he sways slightly on his feet, but remains an unmoving target for whatever happens next. confused--bewildered, really, he cracks one eye open and then the other before putting his arms back down at his sides. ]

Now you beat up sandbags and scare drunkards half to death. Got it. [ loud and clear. should he go? he starts backing up like he might leave, but he hasn't made his mind up, and it's not exactly firing on all cylinders anyway. ]

[ That anger is still coiled tightly in his gut, just begging to lash out. He takes a few calming breaths, ignoring Howard for the moment. Until he can get back in his own head. Winter moves to one of the benches and sits heavily, running his hands over his head.

Having emotions is so fucking tiring. It was much easier when he didn't feel a thing. ]

Leave if you want.

Is that what you want me to do? [ it's instant, but even he realizes it was snappish, dropping down on the bench as far away from bucky as possible while still occupying some space on it. ]

I'm not your handler.

[ He can't very well tell Howard what to do any more than Howard can with him. Winter casts him a quick glance as he sits at the edge of the bench, but otherwise ignores his presence.

He doesn't know what the fuck he wants.. ]

No. [ he agrees, a hint of a smile in his expression. ] That's Carter.

[ it should become clear to winter then that howard intends to stay ]

She isn't, either.

[ Peggy isn't what he would consider a handler. A commanding officer, but none of the arrogance or forcefulness that other handlers had as far as he can remember. They were different every time they decided to thaw him out. ]

...A joke. [ he seems to have to label himself each time he wants to lighten the mood around here. it's making him more serious than he would prefer to be on the regular. ] She's a mutual friend, Barnes. Surely we can bridge this... rift that's appeared between us?

[ Maybe your jokes are just really shitty. How the hell was he supposed to know yo weren't being serious? ]

Oh. [ He goes quiet, watching Howard out of the corner of his eye. ] We can try.

[ No promises. ]

003 ;;

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