i have become comfortably numb

[heavenonearth]

Who: Castiel & You Poor Unfortunate Souls
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Waystation
When: Todayish..?? From like the 19th through the 21st. Text post is on the 22nd. Also a warning that this post contains drug use/references, cursing, and potential Unhappy Talk about painful subjects/depression what have you.



action;

[ it's easy, you know, to drown all of your shit out when you've got a bright, loud, roaring space station of extravagance, entertainment and debauchery to keep you occupied every moment of the day that isn't spent sleeping. good food, good drugs, good company - after living so long in a near-literal hellhole it'd been such an easy thing to give into temptation and drown his troubles in the usual ways, to have a good time, laugh and eat and distract himself with pretty lights and pretty people.

but space is quiet, once you're out in it, and soon enough they've drawn far away from the starlight and cas finds himself cut off from his sport. sure, he can still drink and get high, but that's not really the same, and without all the noise and bustle and activity of the station to drown out all of his thoughts it becomes.. more difficult to face certain realities that he's yet to come to terms with. dean's gone, probably dead back home, and cas hasn't stopped thinking about those crotes, about the hard bite of their teeth into his throat and their foul, suffocating breath. there's no going back home. not for him. and even if he could, there's nothing to go back to. it's all dead and gone, all his fault, and facing up to the hulking mountain of mistakes that his life has been, well -

- he's not strong enough. back home the weight of it was straining him, bending him, but then at least he had purpose, at least he had that thin sliver of hope. here? well, here it's a wash. here there's no more hope, and he's not bending, he's breaking.

so when that snap comes, he's gone from the red fish, disappearing to the waystation where he can blow all his newly acquired funds on booze and whatever cheap stuff is in these vending machines that will fuck him up properly. losing track of time is easy, days pass and he doesn't return to the ship, forgets to eat half the time, sleeps under benches, wanders aimlessly, but spends most of his time passed out beside one of the more remote vending machines, the lit cigarette loose in his hands burning down to his knuckles. ]

[ ooc; he's got some fellow shipmates coming to the rescue, so feel free to come across him any time, when he's relatively sober or less so, whatever's comfortable! he'll be there a couple days just moping about, so any time in that period is fine! ]

text;


So tell me, what do you guys do for a bad hangover, eh? Gotta be some homespun remedies we've got access to, right? These protein solids really aren't doing the trick.

Comments

[child_of_bhaal]

[She goes looking for him. Because people disappearing on her is becoming a really unfortunate habit, and Cas has become a close friend in a very short time. So she tracks him down, and finds him in a state, but at least he's not dead. That's a relief.

And she'll just take that cigarette and put it out before it sets him on fire in his sleep.]

Cas. Cas, wake up.

[Hand on his shoulder, she gives him a gentle shake.]

[heavenonearth]

[ there's nothing, at first. cas doesn't move, doesn't respond at all until her hand is at his shoulder shaking him - he stirs, but only just, eyelids twitching and shoulders shifting, a mumbled, incoherent sound in his throat, but it's all she'll get. ]

[child_of_bhaal]

[Well, fine just make this hard on her.

She takes him by the wrists and starts to hefty him up. It is not easy. He's very much taller than her, and while she's pretty strong, his size compared to hers makes it awkward. But she eventually gets him in a kind of fireman's carry, her half hunched over so he doesn't slide down her back. His feet might occasionally brush the ground. But she's got him and she carries him that way back to the Red Fish.

It is not a fast trip by any means. And it might as well be magic that she gets him into his bunk without dropping him down the hatch, or the door hitting them on the way. But she eventually gets him on to his bed. She gets his shoes off, and then goes and fetches things she thinks he might need: glass of water, some bread for him to eat, a damp cloth, and a basin in case he needs to throw up.

All that she brings back, lays the cloth on his forehead, and then she waits beside him for him to wake.]

[heavenonearth]

[ sorry sye, he owes you one, big time.

nevertheless, cas is out for a good long while while the drugs peak in his system, then bring him back down. he's relatively low maintenance, groaning and sweating and shifting, muttering funny nonsense words every once in awhile, or laughing in that lazy, half-aware way.

but soon enough his eyes crack open, and even the dim light floods and stings them. stomach lurching, cas rolls onto his side and clamps his eyes closed again. his voice, when he speaks, is low and wrecked. ]

Mistakes were made.

[child_of_bhaal]

[When he finally rouses, she moves to catch the cloth before it slides off his face, and drapes it helpfully over his eyes]

You'll be all right. I can't do anything magical for this kind of aftermath, but I did bring you water.

makes up my own option!! action on the ship

[dontthinkaboutelephants]

[Arthur notices his absence, and he lets the others do something about it. He's grateful when Cas is back, but he lets the others take care of him.

When there's a quiet moment, Arthur finally approaches Cas' bunk, a bag slung over his shoulder.] Cas.

[He stops when he reaches his bunk, looking him over.] You look like shit.

[His voice has a gentleness when he speaks, to soften the harshness of his words. It's obvious he wants to speak, though.] Move over, if you will, please. [If Cas makes room for him on his bed, he'll sit down beside him.]

good soldier!!

[heavenonearth]

[ moving between the bathroom and his bunk for the better part of two days hasn't been, you know, very fun. to say he's a wreck might be an understatement, the shakes and the sweats are the worst of it; sam's locked away his hard stuff, which.. all right, fine, yeah, he gets it. he's being responsible. cas would appreciate it more if he weren't, you know, sick and jonesing hard. ]

Yeah, I figure I'd let you take the crown for prettiest on the ship this week.

[ he says, voice rough. clearly his sense of humor hasn't abandoned him. with a grunt, cas shifts over to make room. ]

[dontthinkaboutelephants]

[Okay good, he'll sit, and work on opening his bag.]

I take that crown every week.

[He pulls out a book. It appears to be fiction, something about stars if the cover is anything to go by. And here, Arthur hesitates.] Um... here.

[He holds out the book to him.] I bought it on a whim, but... I want you to have it.

[This isn't something he does normally, give out gifts, try and be there for someone in a little way, and his neck is red in nervousness.]

[heavenonearth]

[ cas is too tired to refute the argument, so he offers a grin instead, weary though it might be, and nudges himself up a little further to sit against the wall.

he definitely doesn't expect the gift though. honestly, cas isn't sure that he's.. ever been given a gift before, so this is a pretty novel thing. a crease forms in his brow, but he's leaning forward anyway. ]

Wait, for me?

[ he accepts the book anyway, frowning thoughtfully at the cover and cracking it open to leaf through the pages. for all cas might come off as a drunk hippie pothead don't be fooled, he's actually a giant nerd. ]

Wow, this is.. pretty great.

[namisan]

And here I thought if you were getting drunk, you'd at least come do it in my bar. [Sass. No, she's just kidding. For all she knows, Cas could be avoiding her after the debacle on the Red Fish. She wouldn't blame him, so.]

There's plenty of supposed cures I know of. None of them work. Try a lot of water instead and sleep it off.

[heavenonearth]

Heh, sorry. Next time, promise.

[ sorry, nami, but at least it's nothing personal. ]

But yeah, that's what I figured. Too bad, you'd think things would have advanced enough around here for an instant cure, eh.

[namisan]

I could ask my ship's doctor. He comes from a world where everyone travels in space. If anyone knows of an actual cure, he would.

[heavenonearth]

Heh, I'd appreciate it, if you don't mind. I'm dying here.

Text

[tallasaking]

Cold water bath. Usually, by someone else's insistence.

[heavenonearth]

Yeah hell no, that sounds like death right about now.

[tallasaking]

Well try not waking up with dogs. That is equally as bad.

[heavenonearth]

Sounds like you've got a good story.

[i_got_this]

hangover foods; pickles, bananas, tomatoes, greasy shit, water, sports drinks, pancakes/waffles, greasiest burgers you can find. I got some stuff stashed if you want to trade.

[heavenonearth]

Well, aren't you handy. I've heard the greasy thing before, I still don't get it but man, I guess there's got to be something to it. What've you got?

[i_got_this]

A few jars of pickles - figured they'd hold well - some banana chips, bunch of Powerade and Gatorade type drinks.

Or if you're really feeling generous I can get my hands on some decent scotch. [For a bit of 'Hair Of The Dog'. Also she can't be sure if the banana chips will even work but actual bananas weren't going to last too long in space. Not that she's about to tell him that.]

[heavenonearth]

[ oh lord no hair of the dog for him thanks, for all he's relied on it before this time is Not That Sort of Time ]

I'll definitely take you up on that Gatorade. And a jar of pickles. I've got, uh.. couple packs of cookies, some cigarettes, questionable jerky and some homespun absinthe distilled by yours truly if you're into that sort of thing. It'll grow hair on your knuckles for sure.

buddddyyyyyyyyyyy

[collegedropout]

[Sam hasn't really been in... good spirits either, admittedly. But you know what? He's not going to let Cas get himself killed out here because he wants to smoke up and drink until his liver pickles. He locks up any medications or alcohol Cas is planning on trying to get into (and sure, it's only temporary, but the guy is sick and gross in bed and he's not getting them right now without careful administrations.

... Weed probably is the best solution. Weed's relatively harmless.

But for now, he'll task himself with making sure Cas doesn't drown in his vomit while he comes back out of being drunk as fuck. Buddy, can you not? He's already had to clean up a mess once. No more.

He's worried, alright? He knows self-imploding when he sees it, because he did that before, too. More than once, for chrissake. He sits in Cas' room with a book and waits for him to come around. Maybe feeling like he was crushed under cement or what have you. Bet your head feels greeeeat.]

shh sam he's fine it's fine it's all fine

[heavenonearth]

[ it's good that he's got enough grace still kicking around that it's surprisingly hard to overdose himself to death, because damn, he's fucked up. hasn't been this fucked up in a long while, actually, not since he first discovered his penchant for this sorta thing, when he got overzealous in his need to bury all this failure and despair in a deep sea of self-medication.

so it takes some time, but eventually he's rising out of his restless, hazy stupor, shaking and sweating with a mouth so dry he's sure he could spit sand, and a headache like the fist of an angry god pounding into his skull.

cas groans, stomach lurching. his voice sounds like a paper shredder. ]

Nng.. knock it off. Too loud.

[collegedropout]

Nobody's talking.

[So plainly said, as he turns the page. He's clearly not very happy about any of this — and when he sighs and lowers the book, he gives Cas one of those caring but exasperated glances. He's not going to outright say how worried he was. Yet. But gosh, it's written all over his face, as it usually always is.]

you're not going to throw up on my shoes again, are you?

[heavenonearth]

[ you're thinking too loud, sam. it's grating.

that lovely, worried bitch-face is exactly what cas is greeted by when he cracks open his eyes, and immediately a pang of guilt strikes him hard on the gut. ]

.. oh. Did I puke on your shoes?