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[dirth]

Who: Solas and you!
Broadcast: Text; universal
Action: On the Pathstone
When: Early morning of the 20th

I am looking for drawing tools. Charcoal, parchment, paints, anything of the like. I have credits I am willing to trade, but I find myself running low on my personal supplies.

[ Having left, his limited supplies of paints had been left to the Pathstone and Cole. Now he needs something to do with his hands and he feels almost... Twitchy with too much time on his hand. ]

Otherwise, I may offer artwork itself in trade. Any visitors to the Pathstone will have seen examples. Thank you.

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[killedwithlove]

[Cole doesn't text unless he has to, instead he comes and finds Solas with a double armful of art supplies. Mostly paints, though there's some brushes, origami paper and a single bright yellow chalk marker as well.]

Elize likes markers and pencils better, but I was painting my room. I'm not very good at it, but I have things you can have.

[dirth]

[ It has been some time since they saw each other last, mostly because Solas has been avoiding Cole - even if it was only subtly, concerned for how the spirit might be handling the overload of new information and memories. There is no denying how glad and relieved he is to see him, however, and he steps up to greet him and the supplies he has brought with a gentle smile. ]

Thank you, Cole. I appreciate it, very much. [ He pauses, then his smile softens all the more. ] Elize brought me a gift. Glitter paints. It was incredibly... Sweet.

[killedwithlove]

[Cole is good at not being around when he isn't wanted or needed. It's a skill he hasn't lost.

He nods at the mention of Elize.]

She is. She's one of the kindest people I've met. She's like the warm light of a table full of candles. Sorey isn't. Sorey is bright midday sun through a canopy of leaves. He's very kind as well.

[dirth]

[ There, Solas pauses, considering for a moment before he focuses entirely on Cole.

Sorey. He knows that name, and it's not one that brings any sort of pleasant emotions to him. ]

You are friends with Sorey, then, I take it?

[killedwithlove]

[Cole immediately steps back.

He picks up the emotions, and isn't sure why Solas would feel that way.]

... yes?

[He's also starting to fade away, exerting will to vanish.]

[dirth]

Cole.

[ Solas shakes his head, taking a step closer. ]

It is nothing against you. Do not run from me.

[killedwithlove]

[He stops trying to fade away, ducking his head.]

I like Sorey. He's kind and generous, he believes people are basically good and he told me I was wonderful for wanting to help people. That, I'm a good person. Even if Compassion if my nature, that he still thought I was good person.

[He's getting a little pink in the cheeks there.]

He feels like sweet songs.

[dirth]

[ There's a small, tiny prickle of something dark and dangerous, something that tastes like envy tinged with frustration, but Solas shoves it away and hides it quickly. Had Solas not told him the same things, after all? ]

I met a friend of his, Mikleo. He did not seem entirely thrilled with my company.

[ But, well. Solas doesn't much care. He turns back to the new supplies and crouches down to look at them, as if the topic doesn't bother him at all. ]

But he seemed charming enough, certainly.

[killedwithlove]

[Cole nearly picks up on it, but he nods and rocks on his feet absently.

Solas did tell him, but Solas saw a spirit. Solas knew what he is and the intricacies of it. Sorey just saw him as him and still thought it.]

I don't really know Mikleo. I met him once, but that's all. He was looking for Elize. He was nice to her.

[And that, of course, bought him a huge amount of Cole's favour.]

[dirth]

[ He keeps his silence on his own feelings, tucking them to one side as he has always done. Locking them away and not dwelling on what hurts your heart is the best way to keep your head up and the fight continuing; he knows that.

He cannot fall prey to his emotions, not even here.

Of course Cole would like the pair, despite the gentle threats they had offered Solas for what seemed like no reason. He nods his head, almost absent. ]

It is good to see she is making friends. She deserves those.

[killedwithlove]

[Cole inhales sharply.]

You went away.

[Everything else is forgotten in the face of that.]

Why did you go away? What did I do? I'm sorry, please don't go away.

[dirth]

I have not gone anywhere, Cole.

[ Solas shakes his head, standing to full height again. ]

I do not like to feel the things I do sometimes. It is a bad habit, and I apologise.

[killedwithlove]

Yes. You have. Your body is here but...

[He hugs himself, rocking on his feet.]

Please don't go away. I'll do better.

[dirth]

Cole. You have done nothing wrong.

[ Instinct guiding him more than anything Solas steps forward, wrapping his arms - and his magic, what aura he has here - around the boy. ]

[killedwithlove]

[As Cole had explored further into being both a spirit and a human, certain... vulnerabilities have reared their head.

He's scared of being left again. Mostly, especially, by the male figures in his life. It's almost like he has a track record...

He presses his face into the crook of Solas' neck and closes his eyes tightly, reassuring himself that Solas is here with his body. Concern, familiar, ages old guilt laced with fresh sparks that pop and snap against his ribs.]

I thought I did.

[dirth]

[ There are some things Solas knows he will never be able to help. There are some things that are unavoidable - and one of those is that, one day, when Atroma allows them to leave, he will abandon Cole and Jove and everyone else that he knows here to return to his duty.

There is no escaping it. That is his fate.

Here, in this moment, however, he is at Cole's side, and he does not intent to leave. He may tuck his emotions to one side, he may shove them away, he might well force himself into calm and turn down any other feelings, but he is here. That is inescapable. ]

Never.

[killedwithlove]

[Cole knows that. He comes from a world without this Solas, without Jove, without all the people he's met here. Even without Cullen, who had learned to tolerate him peacefully.

He will be alone again. But maybe that is his nature. He is not alone now.]

I do things wrong. Everyone does.

[dirth]

And people that do things wrong are often forgiven, are they not? That is the heart of relationships.

[ But, of course, Solas holds himself above and away from those. In his eyes? There is no forgiveness, there is no hope, no redemption. What he is looking to is the end of the world, and that means there is no chance for a better future.

Softening, he reaches out, touches Cole's cheek. ]

You will always be forgiven, Cole.

[killedwithlove]

[He had stood in front of that small town and Solas had said that he could and had to forgive the man who murdered him. But Cole didn't forgive him. He still couldn't forgive him. Not just for letting Cole die that horrible death. But for what else he did, before that and after.]

Often. Not always. I never forgave that templar. You were so disappointed. Did that happen with your Cole? Or did you convince him to forgive?

[He doesn't look up, even at the touch.]

[dirth]

[ Solas breathes out, forcing himself to calm, to relax, before he speaks. ]

You forgave him. You were hurting, but you were wounded - you needed to find the part of yourself that had hurt and regain it. He was hurting too, had left the Templars, and you were a spirit of Compassion. You helped him forget, and you forgave him.

[ His hand draws away and he crosses his arms, bowing his head. ]

[killedwithlove]

[Cole isn't sure what Solas means. Maybe, in his world, Solas had taken Cole to see that Templar. Maybe he found forgiveness in himself.]

No. I didn't.

[He had not helped the man forget. As Cole had to live with what he had done, so did that man. He had left a young man to die, and then hidden what had happened. And Cole had killed those people, even if he thought he was helping.]

[dirth]

You did not. He did.

[ Solas frowns, considering, for a moment, before he looks away. ]

You are not the same as the Cole I knew, and I am not the same as the Solas you knew.

[killedwithlove]

No, I am not and you are not.

I still trust you like I do the Solas I know from home. You're very the same in all the ways that matter.

... did your Cole ever tell you about Rhys and Evangeline?

[dirth]

As are you. You are still Cole to me, and nothing will change that.

[ There are certain things Solas wishes he could change, but there's no denying the fact that it's near enough impossible now. They're in an entirely different world. ]

Yes. He did.

[killedwithlove]

[ Some things can never be changed or undone. They both know that. ]

You, in my world, you're going to have to do that to Cadash's arm, aren't you? So she can live.

[ He's feeling things out. ]