(no subject)

[robitussin]

Who: natalie goodman
Broadcast: fleetwide
Action: n/a
When: now!

you know what sucks about being brought here

[oh boy, here we go.]

like apart from being sol in space. the basic premise here is that this is reality tv right? which is never actually reality. so they specifically picked us based on entertainment value is my guess. can you imagine anyone normal and fine and competent being interesting to watch? nah, not as much as someone who's constantly a mess. isn't it weird to think about how everyone here was picked probably because they're dysfunctional enough for viewers to keep watching? adding insult to injury if you ask me.

anyways i'm kind of curious about what makes you strange enough to be here. fill me in if you've got a guess.

Comments

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[astrobleme]

Oh, right. I should be happy about being held against my will.

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[robitussin]

missing the point town, population: you

but hey if you don't want my advice feel free to be poor forever

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[astrobleme]

What advice is that? 'Don't be upset'? Do you really think I haven't heard that before?

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[robitussin]

oh my god dude that's not what i meant at all

im not going to be the asshole who tells you not to be pissed about being kidnapped, like 95% of the time all i want to do is scream

the trick is not to act like it because being talking about how you're upset with the fact that people are watching you probably makes the people watching you feel guilty, which makes them not watch you, which in turn makes you super broke

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[astrobleme]

What makes you think they're capable of feeling guilty?

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[robitussin]

what exactly do we gain by assuming they aren't

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[astrobleme]

I don't know. The entire premise of the show depends on kidnapping innocent people. If they're watching it, there's no way they feel guilty about watching any part of it.

I don't care about their money anyway. I just don't want to be sent home.

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[robitussin]

okay so like

that sucks and all but i'm not sure why you're telling me all this

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[astrobleme]

And I'm not sure why you gave me useless, unsolicited advice.

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[robitussin]

uh yeah about that

giving someone advice is harmless at worst while venting your troubles to random strangers who have problems of their own (especially if you're going to whine more when they try to give you ways to make it better like seriously dude) is obnoxious at best

hope that helps

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[astrobleme]

Maybe you shouldn't have been condescending in the first place. You don't know me or anything about me or what I've had to go through. So while you're doing mental gymnastics to absolve yourself of all wrongdoing, just remember that your advice might not be as harmless to strangers as you think it is.

I'm having a bad day. Obviously. I'm sorry. I hope your day goes better, and I mean that sincerely.

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[robitussin]

i wonder if there's some space technology that automatically turns your phone off when it detects you're about to be a dick

[because clearly she did nothing wrong!!

(she's the worst).]

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[astrobleme]

I already said I'm sorry.