(no subject)

[robitussin]

Who: natalie goodman
Broadcast: fleetwide
Action: n/a
When: now!

you know what sucks about being brought here

[oh boy, here we go.]

like apart from being sol in space. the basic premise here is that this is reality tv right? which is never actually reality. so they specifically picked us based on entertainment value is my guess. can you imagine anyone normal and fine and competent being interesting to watch? nah, not as much as someone who's constantly a mess. isn't it weird to think about how everyone here was picked probably because they're dysfunctional enough for viewers to keep watching? adding insult to injury if you ask me.

anyways i'm kind of curious about what makes you strange enough to be here. fill me in if you've got a guess.

Comments

[robitussin]

i cant remember what we were talking about like two minutes

everyone has flaws don't criticize me

[feathery]

its too late ive got to do something with this written critique
its signed dated and notarized
for extra annoying points in this gratuitous act of overcommitment

[robitussin]

i'm throwing it out the airlock into the void of space so it will escape all acknowledgement

[feathery]

what if it comes back
could be like homeward bound
it always knows its way home no matter how many space pits it falls into

[robitussin]

on second thought i'm going to burn it

[feathery]

ill make sure i add wanton cruelty to paper to the list of crimes
for completions sake

[robitussin]

cruelty to paper? is that a crime now?

[feathery]

oh hell yeah
paper is like
an endangered fucking species out here in the boonies of space
its rarer than a tree frog from an extinct earth
or a meme from the early 2000s
at least thats the explanation i made up just now for why an alien got pissed at me when i almost walked off with one of their books
it was an accident for the record

[robitussin]

sorry i don't know if i can communicate with someone who uses the word memes

[feathery]

should i switch to binary

[robitussin]

you should switch to not being a nerd

[feathery]

dont even hate
its an incurable condition i picked up from my sister
who
now that i think about it
probably picked it up from our parents
next thing you know everyone in the fleet will contract the disease
its highly contagious

[robitussin]

note to self: tomorrow make a note to post a psa letting your ship know they need to quarantine you for the good of the fleet