driftfleet | first one to make that doctor who joke loses

[ Being an angry asshole is so easy now, it's become a form he's taken on out of necessity. But sometimes, just sometimes, it's by far more important to slip into the thing he used to be. A little easier to put up with and definitely more tolerable of hugs from someone he just sort of needs to be around.

Even within the comfort, there's a desperate rush of guilt that he can't help but try to brush aside, something he just can't deal with quite yet. Not when he's trying to remind himself that Cas isn't entirely lost to the world, at least not here. There's a furious need to it, a reminder that while he fucked up and ruined it all, at least there's remnants of the reasons why he fought so damn hard at the end of the day. Cas is still standing here, and not for the first time he's thankful that he's all he has left.

Still clinging to Cas for as tight as he's willing to, it's final when the moment breaks away, not quite minding the hand still clasped tight to his shoulder. Dean wants to do something more to ground himself but he shoves his hands in the pocket of his jacket, holding off... at least until he pops out with a PB&J. ]

I didn't forget.

[ it's a moment, and there's nothing to be said for it, no words that need to pass between them because he's sure that dean must know what he's thinking, what all of this must mean to him after months stuck here in limbo without him, not knowing what's gone on at home but of course assuming the worst.

it's selfish. it's so selfish, to like it here. to be glad that dean is here. they've left a ruined world behind wrecked by their own hands, and cas feels guilty for it, will always feel guilty, but he still can't help but feel so.. so glad, in so many ways. this is a second chance he doesn't deserve, but he's got to take advantage of it nonetheless. ]

Oh, man -

[ cas drops his hand from dean's shoulder at last, glancing down to the sandwich in dean's hand, that little piece of heaven that is the pbj. groaning with unadorned shamelessness, he takes it in his hands. ]

I could kiss you, you know. You're a lifesaver.

[ Dean gets it, as best as he can. It's not like he could manage months alone, though he'd survive somehow - he just wouldn't come out of it intact. With Sam here, the rage would eat him alive and by the time Cas made an appearance, he would be done. Out of commission, his doors locked up with no looking back.

And he gets why Cas likes it, he does. Dean himself hasn't gotten to that point yet, paranoid and furious with himself for realizing that he has no inherent value. At least back home, despite his failed efforts, he had done something. Tried to do something. Now he's lost his purpose in the middle of space of all places and he has no intention of admitting to that fact. Not yet.

Letting Cas snag the sandwich, Dean's hands are immediately back in his pockets, unsure in his own skin as he glances off at a wandering passerby, attention snapped back in an instant as Cas' groans of contentment. ]

Yeah, i'm sure. [ But Dean would be lying if he said he hadn't eaten his fill. There are some things that never change. ] Too bad i've only got a few more pockets.

[ much as cas really, really wants to dig into this sandwich with all the fury of an angry god, he'll wait until a time he can better savor it, better enjoy it, so with a quicksilver grin he's pocketing it, and glancing up toward dean's face again. ]

Wait - what do you mean?

[ do you have MORE goodies???

!!! ]

[ Dean's gotten far too good at looking stone cold, even at the least serious of moments. But really, it's not like he's got anything else to shove in his pockets for the time being, so you might be in luck Cas!!!

... not that he's going to tell you quite yet. At least not really. ]

Not like I have to ration it out.

[ Which is true. It's kind of nice to hand out food just because it's there. ]

[ he's sure too good at reading those stone cold faces tho. there are all sorts of cranky looks that you make, and cas knows the nuances of all of them. he shifts his weight from foot to foot, grinning despite himself. ]

So what is it, huh?

[ he's like a kid in a gd candy store. ]

Cookies?

[ Omg Cas stop being so excited, you're making it impossible. Watch him just resist the urge to smile in all manner of ways, staring down Cas as best as he can. He's not even sure he can keep it a surprise now, not that he did a good job at that to begin with.

..... FINE, god, you can get your cookies, Dean just needs to be stubborn first. ]

Are we walking any time soon?

[ gdit fine dean WE'LL START DOING THINGS if you're going to be a butt about this, like you're a butt about everything else. he's still craning his neck, though, like he could x-ray vision your jacket and find the cookies inside. ]

All right, all right, come on, big guy.

[ he says, clapping dean on the shoulder and falling into an easy stride though the stalls. ]

We're gonna need to get you a new mask.

[ Dean is legit surprised that Cas didn't just dig around for them himself because who even needs personal space bubbles.... but anyway, he'll just wait until Cas has forgotten about them. It's possible. Maybe. It could happen!

All but outright cringing at the mask bullshit, Dean flashes a look to what Cas has got stashed under his arm and yeah uh no, not happening. ]

Not if it's anything like yours. [ because i mean rly. this isn't eyes wide shut. ]

Oh come on. It looks cool!

[ cas lifts the mask out from under his arm, holding it up in front of them to admire it. ]

It's handsome.

[ a quicksilver grin, and he glances sidelong toward dean. ]

But you're right, I don't think you could pull it off.

Handsome?

[ That's gonna be the word you go with? Somehow he manages to look at least vaguely skeptical. ]

Do they have one that's just, y'know, a mask? [ He shots a look back at Cas before looking away again, at least moderately exasperated. Gdi he sure does hope they just make some kind of boring ass respirator. ]

[ you're getting his patented yeah, you heard me look right about now.

followed up by his absolute sassiest eyeroll. ]

Yeah, probably. I mean, if you want to be ten shades of boring, sure.

[ LOOK. look. Don't even start judging him okay. Not that you don't always but that is so not the point here.

Excuse Dean while he just people watches and avoids your face. ]

Ain't nothing wrong with being boring.

[ you can't avoid his face forever, asshole!! he'll be judging you whether you're looking or not. besides, you totally see it in your mind's eye. don't think he doesn't know that. all the judging. so many, many eyerolls. ]

Sure there is. Everything is wrong with it.

[ we're gonna get you a real mask, buddy. something cool. he'll help, since you don't know how to be cool anymore. ]

[ Can to! Well, okay maybe not forever, but he can at least for the time being. Even if he knows he's being judged. Even then. Because he's just that well versed at it.

Also- rude. There are more important things than being cool, it's not his fault. ]

I thought the point was to be able to breathe. [ Not look fashionable. Priorities. ]

Yeah, and if you can breathe, and look fun and interesting while doing it, why not? Two birds, one stone.

[ YOU'RE NOT GONNA WIN THIS ONE, WINCHESTER, so help him. we're not in shitty apocalypse world anymore, you can stop being an ass-chafed captain of the fun police any time now. ]

Here, come on, look at these - [ vague gestures!! toward the nearest stall. ] - not a single one of 'em calls to you?

Not sure why you're so dead set on me looking fun here.

[ Priorities!!!!! Stop blaming him for having bad habits, it's not like he's trying to ruin your exceedingly good time. He just happens to be bad at chilling the fuck out.

But god okay fine, he will follow you over and heave a breath as if you just reminded him that the world is once again out of toilet paper. His life is a hard place. Watch him just point at a respirator pls and ty. Like one uses to paint a house. ]

Because I've got to be seen with you.

[ and omg you are not pointing at the like top tier bland mcflavorless mask on the goddamn shelf, are you? castiel's sigh is absolutely world weary. you age him, dean. ]

Come on, really? You can do better than that. What about this one?

[ He is doing exactly that okay, he just wants to be able to survive this with a modicum of... he doesn't even know, dignity? He's not trying to make a statement!!

-- uh. Dean is trying to manage a straight face here and he's kind of failing. ] You've gotta be shitting me. [ He would scare small children. But when doesn't he already. ]

Looks like something I took down in my heyday.

[ tbh your real face is way scarier than this thing. this mask is probably an improvement. cas grins while he lifts it off the shelf, turning it this way and that to examine the profile, the craftsmanship. ]

Sure does, doesn't it.

[ makes it all the better, really. cas whacks it against dean's chest. ]

Just give it a chance. Try it on.

[ Good god, just flatter him why don't you. Dean shouldn't even be surprised that he likes the egregious one, but now he's being twice as pushy about it and just fuck everything. Why. There are not enough why's in the world.

Dean's expression just flatlines. Maybe he can get out of this. Somehow. ]

If I try it on, will you let me get a different one. [ Let him. ahahahah.... no okay that's how this works and he knows it. ]

[ look, he likes your face. but it's totally scary. some of the faces you make could sour milk, for real. ]

Can't guarantee it. The mask chooses the wearer, my friend.

[ cas grins, and ain't he just so damn charming!! ]

And it's calling to you. Dean. Put me on, Dean!

It really doesn't.

[ What if he's just really persistent? What then. It's not like he's going to pout about it but he can make seriously grumpy faces. That's new and unusual, right? ]

I'm not drunk enough for this. [ He'll look at it, at least, do the whole turning it over in his hands thing. That's... something. It's a step forward. ]

[ cas is persistent too. you really wanna do this? unstoppable force meets immovable object? we could do this dance all night, baby. ]

I've got a joint on me, if you really need the incentive.

[ but come oooon dean good boy for touching it and all, but we can do better than this. ]

[ Cas, he is not toking up right here, right now. ]

You're not gonna share just to get me to put on a mask.

[ He's pretty sure he's right on that count. But goddammit, he doesn't want to spend an hour here arguing about something this stupid, he'll just put it on. Though he'll look really fucking perturbed about it. ]

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